There are two files in life that I have found to be extremely helpful when dealing with the ins and outs of interpersonal relationships. I’d like to take a moment and share them with you.
File 1: The “Now you know” (NYK) file. If someone disappoints you, hurts you, slights you, double-crosses you, cheats on you, lies to you, or steals from you: file them in the NYK file. It’s up to you to decide if and when to let them out.
NOTE: The NYK can be filled with positives, too. My NYK is peppered with friends who have shown up with food when we’ve suffered a loss in the family, have guarded a secret, lent a shoulder to cry on, or offered encouraging words when we were struggling.
File 2: The “Jimmy Cracked Corn” (JCC) file. (from the childhood song, “Jimmy Cracked Corn and I don’t care…”) This is the “I don’t care, I’m done worrying about it/thinking about it/being responsible for it/can’t fix it anyways/don’t give a fig about it” file. The JCC file is typically used for those situations that involve a lot of drama, are detrimental for you to be involved in (lose: lose situation) and are usually operated by “energy vampires.”
What’s powerful about using this system is that it ABSOLVES you of another person’s bad behavior.
Example 1: Someone you work with steals your cost-savings idea, becomes the company hero and gets all the credit. File: NYK. Resolve to never give them the same opportunity to steal your stuff again; unless it’s not that big of a deal to you and, if that’s the case, they can be moved to the JCC file.
Example 2: The gossipy neighbor calls and leaves a breathy urgent-sounding “call me back” message. You know darn well that her sister-in-law (that she doesn’t like) just had surgery and what she really wants to do is talk your ear off about it, her job, kids, health issues etc. so she can interject her own commentary. Meanwhile supper is boiling over, the kids need help with homework and you’d rather stick a pin in your eye than spend an hour with her. File: JCC.
So simple! So effective! Try it today!!