image from onlineseats.com
Over time, most of us have found ourselves drawn into shaky scenarios, usually when we were quite a bit younger. Me? I’ve had many. One that comes to mind is joining Columbia Record House at 14. Yep, for only a PENNY I got an incredible music collection!! 12 – count ‘em – 12 brand new 8-tracks for just a penny!! (just buy a predetermined amount later at “regular Club House prices.” ) What a deal! Yeah … not really.
Recently, our youngest found himself facing an “opportunity” that, to me, sounded a little too good to be true. Kind of like winning a sweepstakes that you never entered. Hmmm…let’s just say that my “Spidey-Senses” were a-tingling. I tried talking him through it and I tried talking him out of it, but to no avail. He believed. He looked at me, with those eyes, so full of trust and youth ….so I agreed to go along and find out more information.
Ahead of our outing, the hubbs and I had several side conversations that went a little like this:
“You do realize this whole thing is bogus, right?”
“Of course I do.” I replied.
“So … why are you going?”
“Because sometimes kids just have to learn on their own.” I replied. “I have talked to him till I’m blue in the face; he’s heard me but he’s not listening.”
Now Hubbs and I agree on many things but sometimes we just parent differently. He’d have said “No, it’s stupid, it’s a waste of time and you’re not going,” and that would have been the end of it… in his mind.
Me?
Sometimes I am that abrupt but this time, something inside told me that it was less convoluted to tag along and let the proverbial chips fall where they may.
So, off we went.
Arriving at our destination, I watched his eyes as he scanned the room of other young hopefuls nervously clutching the same paperwork as he. I saw the look on his face when he realized that everything he hadn’t wanted to hear – was spot on.
I kept my trap shut.
Whispering, he asked if I wanted to leave.
“It’s up to you,” I replied, “but there’s no harm in hearing what they have to say.”
He grinned, we stayed; turned out, it was way bogus, as in really ridiculously-cornball bogus and later, he laughed. What started out as a chuckle grew to tipping his head back in a full-out holding onto-his sides with laughter.
That afternoon, over cheeseburgers and a shared shake, we talked about the day and laughed over the absurdity of it all. Suddenly he stopped, looked me straight in the eye and said, “Mom … you were so right. How did you know?”
Smiling, I gave him a one word answer, “Experience.”
I never said “I told you so” and I didn’t poke his wounded pride by teasing him about it.
We shared the moment, he learned yet another life lesson, and that was that … with that.
MJ, this is one of the best posts I’ve read. Your quote at the end seals it. Thank you for this life lesson. I will do my best to retain it, so I am prepared to let my kids learn from their own mistakes vs. mine. Good for you for letting your son experience the bogus – for himself.
~ Lenore
Thank you, Lenore. Letting them learn on their own – and witnessing their loss of innocence – is hard for parents, me included. I’ve gotten better at it as my boys have gotten older. My Mom’s quotes – they ring true in my head so much!! Thank you for your kindness, and for weighing in today. Cheers! MJ
Go back a couple of decades and I can remember myself sitting in the same room as your son. How’s the saying go… Fool me once…
Exactly; I think we’ve all been there. The good thing is that I’m hopeful that the majority of these type of lessons are incurred at a somewhat early age. Thanks for commenting, Steve! MJ
Good for you for letting your son realize the “ripoff” on his own…you’re more patient than I would be, MJ!
Wendy
Wendy it is a “learned” trait as I am inherently IMpatient
Cheers! MJ
BRAVO…perfectly played. A lesson he’ll long remember.
oh…and i went for the albums ‘cuz i didn’t have my 8-track yet…
Thanks Coop
. Sometimes, in the day to day haze that is life … we hit one out of the park. More often, I feel like I trip & fall .. but I’m glad I listened to my instincts on this one. P.S. Loved the 8 track; we had a book of matches jammed in to ensure all the tracks played evenly. Cheers! MJ
Well done!
Thank you! Cheers, MJ
What a great story–and kudos for using the occasion as a “teachable moment”! (And I loved the ending quote from your mom!).
Thank you; My Mom has a quote for all lessons, it seems. I need to start writing them down … Cheers! MJ
Yeah… more mom quotes. That one is brilliant!
Thanks, Lissa. There’s so many more; I need to start writing them down! Cheers, MJ
Wise Mum! : )
((lucky)) Cheers! MJ
I give you a big A+ in motherhood for this experience! And I love your Mom’s quote!
Thank you; every once in a while we get it right… there’s just as many times I didn’t I’m afraid
. Cheers! MJ
Oh, so true! I’ve had some of those talks with my kids. I think most of that is behind me now. But you handled it perfectly. Good for you! And good for your son!
Sheila
Thanks Sheila … I think he “gets” it now…. does that mean he’ll listen next time? Maybe, maybe not.. Either way, I felt good about how it all went down. Cheers! MJ
Awesome. Awesome. I will remember this because I clearly need to parent more like you!
Ah well … just remember that’s only 1 story – there’s just as many where I got it all wrong!!
Thanks for the love ~ MJ
Pingback: On goodness | Emjayandthem's Blog