Category Archives: fear

Grow the people

I’ve been thinking a lot about something — something that’s had me troubled since I took the  new job 6 months ago.  Sure, I knew how the department worked, I’d been a key part of it for years. I had a list of what needed tweaking and where changes could be made.

But an area I was least familiar with turned out to be the most important of all.

You see, because the other employees were my colleagues all those years, I really didn’t know what it was like for them.   Now that I was their boss, it was my job to find out. 

Located all around the state, none of us share an office and we rarely see each other. And even though my management style and the previous boss’s are vastly different, I didn’t want to make changes too quickly.

So I started out slowly.  Visiting the team, spending time with them on their turf. Listening.  Bringing forward their ideas, offering encouragement. Bridging the gap between trusted colleague and trusted adviser.

I found myself thinking most about an employee who should have been promoted long ago.

He was doing Manager level work, and had been for years. He wasn’t being paid Manager-level wages.  Oh no, that had never happened, despite the promises made by another.

He didn’t have the right title, although he had all the responsibilities that go with it. Not having the right title meant he often was left off emails sent by other departments.   Not having that information left him at a deficit and unable to perform to the best of his ability.

This wasn’t right.

How to fix it?

I talked with H.R. and my supervisor and slowly but surely,  made it clear that his move up was priority #1.  I kept that move on the forefront of conversations; just enough to have it remembered, not enough to be annoying.

Why?

Because here was someone working hard and not getting ahead for it.

Isn’t that why we go to work?

For the reward? The money? The status?

The more I dug into it, the madder I became.

At the years of indifference.

Years of neglect.

The years of hard work for another’s benefit.

No, not this time.

It was not for nothing.  It was going to be for something.

I am delighted to report he got the promotion he deserved and some more money, too.  He’s a proud man, and his quiet but dignified “Thank you, thank you so very much” was beyond meaningful to me.   We laughed about his email in-box “blowing up” with congratulatory notes, and I took great joy in hearing the joy in him.

Thinking about it further, I came to see that this is why I am in the job.

Not just because I understand the policies and can navigate the systems.  Not just because of my experience and good reputation.

No, that’s not it.

I am here to grow the people.

And in there is growth for me as well.

no point climbing the ladder just to sit there by yourself

no point climbing the ladder just to sit there by yourself

You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.”
― Woodrow Wilson

 Have you ever been in a similar position?  Were you able to fix it?

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Filed under Faith, fear, Forgiveness, Growth, Joy, Life, Life Lessons, Men, Quotes, Relationships, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Women, Work

I saw her

The past two days have been an adventure, to say the least.   After the news in Boston and Texas, it felt good to get out for a road trip on Thursday. Except for the driving rain.  And the flooding. And the difficulty doing simple things … like seeing where I was going!

But, eventually, I drove out of the storms and found myself enjoying the ride — the winding roads, the hills, farms and fields.  Arriving at my destination, I was met by the smiling face of one of my employees.  Our meetings went well, we enjoyed a wonderful lunch in a quaint Northern town and then, off we went again, driving through the rain and the hills and the snow to another city I’ve never visited before.

Wrapping up yesterday, we soon realized that I couldn’t go home the same way I’d came in.  You see, the city I live in has a large river snaking through it and the banks were already compromised; every river north of here is swollen and spilling over.  I decided to reroute and travel south along the Lake Huron shoreline and then make my way West from there.

Lake Huron .. from inside my car, way too cold to get out and stand!

Lake Huron .. from inside my car, way too cold to get out and stand!

Just before a stretch of open road, I noticed something I hadn’t noticed: the gas gauge was low. A lot lower than it should have been for the distance I still had to go.  I took an exit off the highway into an area I’ve never been and, driving along, it seemed to take forever to see any signs of gas stations or … civilization. My nerves kicked in and I felt my hands shaking just a bit.

Oh geez, I thought. Wouldn’t this be just perfect? I muttered.  C’mon gas station where are you? and then a chime-chime-chime of the gas alert.  Oh Lord, here we go.

Coming around a bend in the road, I saw it: a little country stop called, “Gas N Go.”   Let’s hope it’s open. 

I pulled up, filled up, and walked inside to pay.   As I opened the door, here she came: a little (and I mean tiny) old lady in a rain hat and boots, looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Do you know the roads?”

Holding the door, my hair flying in the wind, I replied, “I’m sorry, I don’t. I’m not from around here.”  She put her head down and started to walk away when something made me  ask “Where are you headed?”

Looking up, her bright blue eyes peeking out from under her plastic rain hat, she said, “Well, I’m headed to Belding; you see my sister died and I need to get there.”   I touched her arm lightly and said, “I’m so sorry; you know the roads are bad and it’s flooding and are you sure you should be going?”  Again those blue eyes, “I have to” and off she headed to her truck.

I went inside to pay and felt my emotions get the best of me. That could be my Mom out on a country road. That could be me.

I blurted out my concerns to the clerk: that she shouldn’t be out in this, and couldn’t we do something?  Behind me stood an older man, a farmer-looking kind of man. The kind of man who could have been my Dad or my neighbor growing up.   I heard him clear his throat and put his change on the counter; he stepped ahead of me and went straight to her truck.  In the wind and the driving rain, I saw him pointing forward and telling her road names.

Driving back to the highway, I thought of her. I prayed for her. And yes, I cried for her.

You see, as a girl who lives so far from what’s familiar, there’s much of my life that’s an adventure. But there are also moments like this when I feel the pinch of not living where things are known to me.

Last night, I found myself telling Hubbs about that encounter.  He listened, as he always does, and then said something that resonated with me. “No you couldn’t help her, you didn’t know your way, but you did what you could: you saw her.”

Maybe he’s right. Maybe we’re not meant to solve everyone’s problems. Maybe the best we can do is take a moment and see someone.

Have you had a kindness shown? Pass it on; ‘Twas not given for thee alone, Pass it on; Let it travel down the years, Let it wipe another’s tears, ‘Til in Heaven the deed appears – Pass it on. ~Henry Burton, Pass It On

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Filed under Faith, fear, Friendship, Growth, Home, Life, Mom, Personal, Random, Relationships, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized

Coincidences

I wrote about Boston yesterday. Today I found out about an odd coincidence:

Sheryl, the gal who taught my blogging class so long ago? She’s a runner and ran the Boston, her first time. She and her family are OK and you can visit her blog at: e2dietician.com.

I don’t know why but, somehow, finding this out made me feel better.

Not about what happened.  Not about what people are going through.

About the connections we make that seem so happenstance at the time.

About feeling a little less alone in all this turmoil.

About knowing that there’s a larger plan in place than what I know it to be.

Curved asphalt road

Everyday is a winding road …

“Coincidences are just God’s way of remaining anonymous.”

Have you ever experienced a coincidence that gave you comfort?

related

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Filed under Attitude, Faith, fear, Friendship, Gratitude, Life, News, Relationships

Patriot’s Day

Yesterday was “Patriots’ Day” here in the United States.  In Massachusetts, a state holiday.  The running of the Boston Marathon.  You know the rest.

And today, just like after so many other similar days, we’re reeling.

Newtown. Aurora. Oklahoma City. 9/11. Boston.

What can you do?

What can I do?

Today you can know this: in the face of unimaginable horror, there were still more who tried to help than did not.

There were still more who rushed to the scene than ran away.

There were still more offering tips than the phones could handle.

There were still more who watched in sadness and wondered what can I do?

And that’s when the anger came. Anger that someone – identity unknown – wants us all to live in fear.  To be afraid to run.

Not happening, coward.

HOW YOU CAN HELP

  • The Red Cross says the best way to help right now is to get in touch with loved ones through its Safe And Well Listings. The organization is not asking for blood donations at this time.
  • The Salvation Army is offering food, beverages and crisis counseling to survivors and first responders. Find out how you can get involved here.
  • Some marathon runners are stranded in Boston and in need of places to stay. Find out how you can offer housing here.
  • Anyone with info about the incident can call 1-800-494-TIPS.

This Patriot stands with Boston and I am not afraid to run.

 

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Filed under Faith, fear, Grief, Life, News, Patriotic, Uncategorized

I love you this much

I’ve been lost, weak and confused.

I’ve felt flawed, anxious and full of heartache.

I’ve tried not to judge but known that I did.

There were times I’ve excelled and times when I’ve failed.

But still, I pray.

Still, I think.

Still, I wake, toss and turn.

And in time, I remember to turn to Him.

And I laugh when I realize it really is just that simple:

“Step out of your way, girl, and come to Me.”

EASTER-cross-blank

We asked … How much do you love me? And He said “This much.” And then He stretched out His arms and died. For you. For me. For us. For them. For the good, the bad, the weak and the sad. For all of us.
He loves you this much.

Please watch the video by Jimmy Wayne ( below ),  I love you this much. 

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Filed under Faith, fear, Forgiveness, Growth, Joy, Life, Relationships

The road less travelled

Advising one of our boys recently, I found myself in a deep discussion about doing the right thing.

I reminded him that,  in spite of someone’s hatefulness,  he should always take the high road.

He tilted his head and gave me a look that said … explain please?

So I filled him in on the nuances of the “high road.”  How it’s a road most often  traveled alone.  It’s usually headed away from the masses.  It’s far from comfortable.  There’s plenty of goading, very few luxuries and not many rest stops along the way.

Then I assured him that when he’s on the high road he’ll know it because of how his heart feels.

He will walk taller, stand straighter, have a whistle in his heart and a song on his lips.

He will know.

How?

He will know he’s on the high road when he doesn’t see any of the “preachy” people he’s met walking alongside him.

He will see the man who could take the extra cash and look the other way but doesn’t because it’s not the right thing to do.

He will see the woman who fed a lingering child without being sure how she’ll feed her own the next day.

He will see the couple working multiple jobs who still make time to check in and talk with an elderly neighbor.

He will see some with enough, a few with nothing, and many …. walking on their own.

He will not see the Sunday Christians, the Holy Rollers or the Damnation givers.

He will recognize himself in every single one of them and that’s when he’ll know:  he’ll know he’s following his soul’s journey to do what’s right  ..  in the eyes of God.

*originally published August 17, 2011 by Emjayandthem. 

“The same crowds that were crying out ‘Hosanna’ were crying out “crucify Him” five days later” – Matthew 27:22 – 23

 

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Filed under Faith, Family, fear, Forgiveness, Growth, Life, Men, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Uncategorized

Fifty percent

One of my favorite commercials running right now features this guy (see below).

I know of no woman with this kind of confidence; in my experience, we’d be so busy wrapping, slathering, buffing and hiding … we’d likely miss the outing entirely.

This summer maybe I’ll get a “whatever” flag and put it in my drink, too!

Happy Friday, peeps.

“Sex appeal is fifty percent what you’ve got and fifty percent what people think you’ve got.”  – Sophia Loren

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Filed under Confidence at any age, Determination, Faith, Family, Fashion, fear, Joy, Life, Men, Random, Uncategorized

Burning burning

“The world doesn’t need more people playing small.

It’s time to stop hiding out and start stepping out.

It’s time to stop needing and start leading.

It’s time to start sharing your gifts instead of hoarding them or pretending they don’t exist.

It’s time you started playing the game of life in a ‘big’ way.” – Harv Eker.

on fire

Who’s burning with me?

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Filed under Confidence at any age, Faith, Family, fear, Friendship, Fun, Growth, Joy, Men, Personal, Quotes

On falling and living

So I’ve spent most of this week readying to move into my new office on Monday.

New as in .. not really new, but it’s new to me.

New as in .. it comes with the new job I took 3 months ago but … it was occupied.

New as in .. out with the old, in with the new.

Even if I’m not technically new. Heh Heh.

So I packed, I tossed and I sorted this week. And during that time,  I thought a lot about the transition.

About how I didn’t want to just feel like I was taking someone else’s office.

How I wanted it to feel like it was mine.

So .. on my lunch break yesterday, I stopped into a local store that I love to visit. They have odds & sods and this and that but mostly? Mostly what I love about it are the people who run it  – they’re friendly and kind and the store always smells good. George, the cat, hangs out and sometimes allows a drive-by pet.  The holistic health resources and spiritual items they display never fail to inspire me and make me think.

I headed back to the office with two bottles of essential oils: Lavender and Lemon.  Sprinkling a few drops  each onto some potpourri I had handy, I placed two small bowls strategically in the vacant office that will be mine on Monday. The fragrance .. ever so soft .. was fresh and calming and lovely.

On a whim, a little framed sign caught my eye and, laughing to myself, I knew it had found a home on my desk.

falling down_getting UP

Why?

Because I am my own worst critic.  There isn’t anyone in my company who could ever be tougher on me than I am on myself.

This sign reminds me to try.  And to get back up again if I stumble. And maybe, just maybe, to ease up a little, too.

What saying inspired you recently?

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Filed under Attitude, Faith, fear, Fun, Gratitude, Growth, Humor, Joy, Life, Life Lessons, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Relationships, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Work

Snapping Strings

Maybe it happened when you had good news to share: an opportunity to talk about or the scale moving in the direction you wanted it to.

Like me, when those moments happen, you want to share them with others – friends and family – and instead, well instead sometimes you found excitement squelched by * crickets *.

But how much time have you spent dwelling on the approval you never got? May never get?

How many times has the stark silence of someone’s resistance dampened the high fives that rolled in … from others?

For me, it’s happened more than I’d like to admit.

You see, as much as I have tried to grow it up and suck it up and push all that stuff aside, it still irks me when I catch myself doing it.  When I realize how much weight I’ve allowed their actions to have.

Is it a control thing?  Is it true that when we allow what someone says or does to upset us, we are really just allowing them to control us?

google.image

google.image

I don’t think that’s it.  I think it goes deeper.

I think it goes back to the little child living in each of us. The one who just wants to be heard.

The one who wants to be relevant, charming, witty and smart.  Who wants to be valued, admired, celebrated and loved. Who wants to be invited back to the big kids table.  Who wants never to be turned away.

I’ve come to realize I might never all the connections I long for but I’ll always have me and that’s a relationship worth cultivating.  It’s probably time to snap some strings while I’m at it.

emjayandthem in grade one

emjayandthem in grade one

Will you join me?

Whose approval are you waiting for?

* * *

“I know what it’s like. I’ve seen it played out a zillion times. You’re waiting for that magical day when someone makes the connection and recognizes who you really are. Maybe they’ll first catch the sparkle in your eye. Or perhaps they’ll marvel at your insights and the depth of your spirit. Someone who will help you connect the dots, believe in yourself, and make sense of it all. Someone who will understand you, approve of you, and unhesitatingly give you a leg up so that life can pluck your ready, ripened self from the branch of magnificence. Well, I’m here to tell you, your wait is over. That someone, is you.” -  Mike Dooley

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