I have to do what?

It’s that time again. 

Time for our annual benefits enrollment.   I’m thankful to be employed and that my company offers a pretty generous benefits package (at a manageable price).’s the thing. To be covered, employees must take a “Health Quotient” questionnaire.

Yep. For a good 45 minutes, I get to tell a nameless server stuff I wouldn’t tell my closest girlfriend, not to mention the Hubbs.

  • My weight. Actual weight. Not high school weight.  Crap!
  • How many fruits and vegetables I eat every day.  Really. No exaggerating.
  • How many times per week do I participate in vigorous exercise. Ha!   That’s funny.
  • How many alcoholic beverages do I consume on a weekly basis.  Hilarity ensues!
  • What’s my stress level?   It was fine till I heard Christmas music Monday morning (11-1), why do you ask???
  • What’s my blood pressure? Triglyceride #?  Resting heartbeat?  HDL? LDL? Sex Life? Stress Level?  Emotional state? Ability to balance a check book? Sleep Patterns?   Snuff chewing habits?

I don’t know about you, but this feels invasive to me. 

Like an alien probe without the fantastic light show. Or the E.L.O soundtrack.

Where does this information go? Who reads it? Does my employer review our responses, glance over at my body shape and mutter to himself, “Not a chance in hell she’s doing Zumba 6 days a week for 60 min at a clip…”

Here’s the thing … want to know my health quotient?

Ask me on a Friday afternoon after a 2 hour conference call peppered with 20 minute interludes of “how’s the weather in your neck of the woods, Bob?”  and right before I’ve had a last-minute crisis dropped in my lap, we’re out of coffee and I’m within earshot of a co-worker’s rant.

I’ll tell you: “All things considered .. I’m just fine. I show up. I get the job done. If I get sick, I stay home. If not, here I am. Thanks for asking.”

Sorry but I just don’t think “they” need to know that much about me.  I’m sticking with the script:  I’m 7 feet tall and 126 lbs; my body fat is 7%, I’ve never imbibed in more than 2 drinks at any setting, I exercise at least 8 times a week and I eat at least 12 servings of fruits & vegetables every single day.

 That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

Categories: Attitude, Determination, Humor, Life, Life Lessons, Opinion, Random observations, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Post navigation

4 thoughts on “I have to do what?

  1. ter

    You crack me up! And I agree…lie.

  2. Kelly Hay

    This is too funny! Thanks for my morning laugh!

    I recently had to fill out a similar questionaire; needless to say, I wasn’t 100% honest in my answers, so I know of what you speak!

  3. Pingback: Wellness Plans Get Personal « E2dietitian's Blog

Please share your thoughts:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Create a free website or blog at

Connie Rosser Riddle

Connecting with people in my path

Atypical 60

A Typical Blog. A Typical Woman. A Typical Take On Life. With An Atypical Twist!

A New Day Dawns

Arise, shine, for your light has come...Isaiah 60

Virginia Views

Country Living for Beginners

Waiting for the Karma Truck

thoughts on the spaces in between

Views and Mews by Coffee Kat

Kate's views on life edited by four opinionated cats

Renee Johnson Writes

Novelist, Traveler, and More

Life Is A Journey... Not A Guided Tour

My Journey From Merchant Mariner to Mother, And Spiritual Being.


Nancy Roman

Flamidwyfe's Blog

Midwifing women all over the world!

Operation Gratitude Blog

Care Packages for Deployed U.S. Troops, Veterans, New Recruits, Wounded Heroes, First Responders & Military Children

Hot Rod Cowgirl

Riding Through Life One Horse At A Time...Courage Is Being Scared To Death But Saddling Up Anyway!

She's A Maineiac

just another plaid-wearin' java-sippin' girl

The View Out Here

A view in pictures, from me to you

I also live on a farm

Just another weblog

Undercover Surfer

...random thoughts and images overflowing from my brain

Wordsmith's Desk

some thoughts along the way

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

music, poetry, musings, photography and philosophy from a woman who found her way back home and wants you to come over for a hike and a cocktail.

Georgette Sullins's Blog

My view of the cow parade

these days of mine

Stop in and see what's happening during these days of mine

Writingfeemail's Blog

Random observations on writing and life

Grace and Life

Looking for grace notes in life's journey...

When I Ride...

How life coaches me as I ride...



%d bloggers like this: