Lounging in my jammies yesterday I found myself watching a TV show featuring celebrity news stories of the year.
I consider myself a bit of a news hound. I read all the time. Books, blogs, newspapers, online news, you name it.
So it came as a surprise to me that some of the “news” stories of the year .. I hadn’t even heard of.
Kim Kardashian? Most googled person? Seriously? Why?
Yes she’s pretty and curvaceous and I get that … but I can’t handle that whiny-constipated way of talking.
I realized that, while watching, my brain was way ahead of me, it was already computing my list of people and products I don’t care about.
Then I realized I actually have a visceral reaction to each one.
So I do care.
I care that I am supposed to care about them.
Stop! No more living rent-free in my head!
One of many stupid ED commercials. Image via accessrx.com
Here’s my list of people and products I am wiping clean from my brain’s memory drive:
- “Jersey Shore” and the band of lost misfits inhabiting it. It shames me that I even know who “Snooki” and “DJ Pauly D” are. Ugh. Do stores carry Lysol for the brain cause I think I need a case of it.
- Kate Gosselin. With or without kids. Short hair or long. Don’t care.
- Oprah’s final season. Over it.
- Kim Kardashian and the rest of them. And what the hell happened to Bruce Jenner’s face?
- Erectile Dysfunction and “special moments.” Um, the first two words don’t go with the last three unless you’re … Gene Simmons.
- Marie Osmond’s weight loss. Her hair is now bigger than her entire body and she oddly resembles the dolls she hawks on QVC. Weird.
- Tiger Woods had to spend Christmas without his kids. Hmmm … perhaps when you cheat on your wife with 8 million women, a little time alone to wallow is what you should get. Knob.
- Dancing with the washed up-0nce were-remotely famous-stars. Yawn.
- Lindsay who?
- Justin whats-his-face-with-the–really-stupid-hair.
- The Kimaro Body Shaper. How do people get into it? And why?
- Extreme anything. Extreme fitness. Extreme weight loss. Extreme-ly annoying. Whatever – shut up.
How about you?
What “news” story isn’t news?
Which celebrity is famous for no reason at all, in your opinion? I know I’m not alone here …
