Lounging in my jammies yesterday I found myself watching a TV show featuring celebrity news stories of the year.
I consider myself a bit of a news hound. I read all the time. Books, blogs, newspapers, online news, you name it.
So it came as a surprise to me that some of the “news” stories of the year .. I hadn’t even heard of.
Kim Kardashian? Most googled person? Seriously? Why?
Yes she’s pretty and curvaceous and I get that … but I can’t handle that whiny-constipated way of talking.
I realized that, while watching, my brain was way ahead of me, it was already computing my list of people and products I don’t care about.
Then I realized I actually have a visceral reaction to each one.
So I do care.
I care that I am supposed to care about them.
Stop! No more living rent-free in my head!
One of many stupid ED commercials. Image via accessrx.com
Here’s my list of people and products I am wiping clean from my brain’s memory drive:
- “Jersey Shore” and the band of lost misfits inhabiting it. It shames me that I even know who “Snooki” and “DJ Pauly D” are. Ugh. Do stores carry Lysol for the brain cause I think I need a case of it.
- Kate Gosselin. With or without kids. Short hair or long. Don’t care.
- Oprah’s final season. Over it.
- Kim Kardashian and the rest of them. And what the hell happened to Bruce Jenner’s face?
- Erectile Dysfunction and “special moments.” Um, the first two words don’t go with the last three unless you’re … Gene Simmons.
- Marie Osmond’s weight loss. Her hair is now bigger than her entire body and she oddly resembles the dolls she hawks on QVC. Weird.
- Tiger Woods had to spend Christmas without his kids. Hmmm … perhaps when you cheat on your wife with 8 million women, a little time alone to wallow is what you should get. Knob.
- Dancing with the washed up-0nce were-remotely famous-stars. Yawn.
- Lindsay who?
- Justin whats-his-face-with-the–really-stupid-hair.
- The Kimaro Body Shaper. How do people get into it? And why?
- Extreme anything. Extreme fitness. Extreme weight loss. Extreme-ly annoying. Whatever – shut up.
How about you?
What “news” story isn’t news?
Which celebrity is famous for no reason at all, in your opinion? I know I’m not alone here …
I too find most of your list annoying everytime I hear about it. If I had the urge to vent as you did, I would, but I think you vented enough for the both of us. As a matter of fact, on television right now, is a news segment on Oprah!
I think it i s the shortening of the attention span of Americans in general. We have become accustomed to the “fast-food” lifetstyle and have no use for things that take time. Which is why we are now attracted to things like “Jersey Shore,” a show about nothing, but since it is fast paced and “reality” television, we get satisfaction, however odd that may be.
I am of a similar platform as you, where is a good book when you need one?
Rock on Hemlock1981! I agree. We are getting our our news in “30 second sound bytes” and it’s too much, too fast, and often 50 miles wide and a 1/2 an inch deep … I have never watched Jersey Shore but cannot escape it. I’m going to turn off the telly today and unplug the phone .. and read 😉 Cheers!
I think people I don’t know much about, or understand, like Justin Beiber. He is so young and fresh, and I just want to put a big comfortable bubble around him until he’s old enough to withstand our Hollywood culture. Same goes for Taylor Swift.
Also, what’s up with the Shake Weight? And does it work … 🙂
great points CM’s Wife. I forgot about the Shake Weight … ha ha ha! Thanks for the chuckle 😉
I laughed…and cheered through this entire list, especially #7! You rocked this list out. Thank God I am not alone. That settles it, it’s “them”, not us. Brilliant post!
Hey Thanks Coach Beth. I had a feeling we were kindred spirits and maybe my rants just confirmed it! Cheers 😉 MJ
Hilarious 🙂
I must have been in a rant-ish mood; glad you enjoyed !