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What are you really saying?

There’s always a little truth behind the words “just kidding,”  a little knowledge behind “I don’t know,” a little emotion behind “I don’t care,” and a little pain behind “I’m ok.”

For every time I’ve heard hurtful words followed by “just kidding,”  I know you meant it but don’t have the guts to be honest.

For every time I’ve heard the words “I don’t know” from someone who knows better, I know you’re lying because your eyes are looking everywhere but in mine. 

For every time I’ve heard the words “I don’t care” just know that it’s going to take a few more tries to convince me.  

For every time I’ve heard the words “I’m ok” know that I feel your pain and see you reassuring yourself with those words.

 So .. what are you really saying?

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Categories: Determination, Friendship, Life, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Random, Relationships, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | 23 Comments

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23 thoughts on “What are you really saying?

  1. Ahhhh, so so true. I especially see the “just kidding” phenomenon among kids. They think they can truly say anything then say, “just kidding”, and it’s fine. I am definitely teaching my kids that it is NOT. Great post.

    • Caroline I agree whole heartedly … I don’t know if it’s the reality TV culture or what but I see it in kids also and it’s happening younger and younger. I have taught mine that being mean and then saying “just kidding” only confirms that they’re … mean. They get it. I wish everyone would – thanks for commenting !! MJ

  2. Right on the nail.

  3. cooper

    i can’t claim myself as the original source of this thought, but i agree with it. When someone says ‘just kidding’ or ‘it’s only a joke’ it’s that persons way of absolving themselves of responsibility for the hurt they’ve caused. The leader of this disorder is howard stern, the king of humiliating people behind the guise of ‘it’s just a joke’.

  4. cooper

    kewl banner pic, btw. and of course your taste in blog themes is impeccable..

  5. Great post; every time someone says something mean-spirited followed laughingly with “just kidding”, I immediately think negative thoughts about that individual which range from mean, spineless, insensitive, ignorant…and so on. And the thing is, they don’t seem to understand how transparent they are. Idiots.

    • You and I think alike Coach Beth… I have a co-worker who does this and he says the most idiotic insensitive things followed by a giggle and a “just kidding” … and what is left behind is … disrespect. Thank you for commenting! MJ

  6. I liked this. These are the (what should be) obvious truths, that many of us (including myself) often try to convince ourselves (and others) that nobody really knows (when of course, they do!). =)

    Am glad to have stumbled in here… Nice blog. =)

    • Well thank you for not only stumbling in but for relating and commenting. It’s those little “oh that happens to you, too” moments that connect us in our world of blogging isn’t it? (( and yes … people know exactly what they’re saying even if they’re not quite ready to admit it )) Cheers~ MJ

  7. Eek. I say “just kidding” a lot, but I know when and where I developed the habit. I’ve always been a very sarcastic person (some people call it witty), and then one of my husband’s friends started dating a girl that didn’t get sarcasm. I mean, it’s not that she was offended–she genuinely didn’t comprehend it. Needless to say, she told me that she wished whenever someone was joking around, they should let the person they’re talking to know it. So, anytime I say “just kidding,” it’s not because I didn’t mean what I said, but rather, I didn’t mean it as a negative. “Just kidding” can be used in a helpful manner, but it’s quite definitely not good to use it to cover up something that was rude. However, just as I remember the time I started using the phrase, something tells me this might be the time I remember stopping. 🙂

    • You make a good point; I hadn’t thought of those instances where someone might need clarification… so, in that instance, I suppose it could be helpful.. My experience has been that, for most of us, it’s just hurtful. I have had to stop myself from doing it, too … It’s just another habit that was worth getting away from. Thanks for visiting, Jessica S, and for your thoughtful comments – I appreciate that very much! Cheers~ MJ

  8. So true. I especially identify with the “I’m ok” comments as I use that phrase myself when I’m far from ok.

    Love the photo!

    • Yes indeed Sheila … I have done the same, sometimes it’s because I was far from Ok but too exhausted to go into the detail on why I wasn’t or because there was no obvious fix … Certainly makes one think doesn’t it!
      Thanks for stopping in … happy house-selling 🙂 MJ

  9. I’ll never forget I said something a bit smart alec to my grandfather and then tried to get away with it by saying, I’m just kidding. Much to my horror, he called me on it and said. “No you aren’t” I think I pretty much stopped at that point. I’m grateful for that life lesson from Papa.

  10. This is SO true. I will be more mindful the next time I start to say, “I don’t care.” Great post, MJ 🙂

    • I’m with you Jaclyn Rae. Sometimes I truly don’t care – or don’t have an opinion (which restaurant to choose etc) but when I do… I’m going to speak up instead of stifling. Cheers!

  11. Whenever somebody tells me “just kidding” after saying something unkind, I say back “there’s always truth in jest.” Because it is true, there usually is.

    • You are so right CM’Wife… to me it’s a little like the drunk who says something really harsh. Liquor didn’t do it … it had to be thought of first to be spoken, right? Thanks for visiting… and for your comments! MJ

  12. Pingback: Xnay the Fangage | Emjayandthem's Blog

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