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When you say nothing at all

A skill I’ve learned from hubbs has been put in play of late.

It’s powerful and one that takes practice, because it goes against my learned methods of communciating.

 But every time I have to pull it out of my bag of tricks, I am reminded again of its power.

What is it?

It’s the art of not engaging.

Example:

When someone is spinning out of control and tries to drag you into their negative vortex … step quietly to the side, and let their momentum take them elsewhere.

When a harsh words beg for commentary … refrain.

Let the ugliness hang in the air; let the person who dealt them watch their poison fall to the ground.  They’re counting on sucking you in.  Don’t. Go. There.

Not engaging.  Powerful stuff.

Sometimes … the most influential words are those left unspoken.

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Categories: Attitude, Determination, Life, Opinion, Personal, Relationships, Thoughts, Wisdom | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

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21 thoughts on “When you say nothing at all

  1. Nicole

    Like it. When you ask the hubbs a question and you know he’s ignoring you or avoiding answering. Count down from 10 very slowly in your head and see who breaks the silence first!

  2. Yep. I recognize this. “Don’t. Go. There.”

  3. oh how I am trying to teach my kids this right now!

    • I didn’t learn it till later in life … keep at them, they will .. but when you least expect it 🙂 Cheers! MJ

  4. This is excellent advice, MJ, especially if one has teenagers…thank you!

    Wendy

  5. Most of the time I practice this art. And then there are the times I don’t! Usually wish I had held my tongue, kept the peace, let it slide. Good advice, good reminder!

    Sheila

    • I know what you mean, Sheila. We’ve all caught ourselves getting drawn in and then later regretting it. I do find that the more I practice it, the better I am at it. Cheers! MJ

  6. When I read this (powerful) post, one person came to mind: my mother-in-law. She can be so sweet and loving. But sometimes I think she just lives to provoke confrontation. And I abhor confrontation. So, over the years, I’ve learned to not be drawn into whatever the argument of the day/minute is…or would be if I participated. Thanks for the reminder!

    • Oh Dianna, I’m sorry, I know someone just like that and had them in mind when I wrote this. But, like you, I’ve learned not to get sucked in because, as my mother would say, “no good can come from that.” Doesn’t mean it’s not hard to do, though – I’m a talkative Gemini and it’s my nature to weigh in … argh !! Cheers, MJ

  7. I’m a Gemini, too! June 4 – how about you?

  8. I know SO many people with June birthdays (and now another one!). My son’s is the 16th. It’s a good month!

  9. Allison Krauss’ song “When you say nothing at all” is one of my favorite songs.
    Thank you for the reminder, MJ. I’m working on it. 🙂 ~ Lenore

    • It’s one of mine, too, Lenore. I just love the purity of her voice … as for this post? It was as much for me as anything; I’m resisting the urge to comment on a present situation. I know it won’t do any good so I’m just staying out … still hard though, cheers! MJ

  10. Great advice. I’m not sure I’ve ever tried this and I imagine it would take great effort but is well worth it.

  11. Pingback: Life is a school | Emjayandthem's Blog

  12. So well said! Thank you.

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Connie Rosser Riddle

Connecting with people in my path

Atypical 60

A Typical Blog. A Typical Woman. A Typical Take On Life. With An Atypical Twist!

A New Day Dawns

Arise, shine, for your light has come...Isaiah 60

Virginia Views

Country Living for Beginners

Views and Mews by Coffee Kat

Kate's views on life edited by four opinionated cats

Renee Johnson Writes

Novelist, Traveler, and More

Life Is A Journey... Not A Guided Tour

My Journey From Merchant Mariner to Mother, And Spiritual Being.

notquiteold

Nancy Roman

She's A Maineiac

just another plaid-wearin' java-sippin' girl

The View Out Here

A view in pictures, from me to you

I also live on a farm

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Wordsmith's Desk

some thoughts along the way

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

music, poetry, musings, photography and philosophy from a woman who found her way back home and wants you to come over for a hike and a cocktail.

these days of mine

Stop in and see what's happening during these days of mine

Grace and Life

Looking for grace notes in life's journey...

When I Ride...

How life coaches me as I ride...

RICH RIPLEY

EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS...

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