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On Fathering

It’s “Father’s Day” and our boys have shared their thoughts and good wishes with their Dad.  We’ll barbeque later and have a relaxing afternoon. I can’t help but think of my Dad today and how much I miss him.

my Dad, Lloyd

You didn’t know my Dad, so I let me tell you a little about him.  His name was Lloyd. He kept cookies in his pocket & licorice in his truck.  He didn’t go anywhere without his favorite cap or a little grin on his face. He loved people, but he had a soft spot for children and animals, especially dogs.  He taught me where to find Saskatoon berries, to appreciate the land we farmed, to be fearless, to drive a stick shift, to read the sky, and to dance while standing on his toes. He taught me girls could do anything but that it was best not to wear too much makeup. He taught me that doors should be opened for ladies and that if someone came into the yard and honked they could just keep on driving. He taught me to be helpful, to fix what I could, to re-use what I had, to preserve what was good and to let go what wasn’t. He taught me that real men cry, cherish their wives, tickle their children, and are playful, gentle and loyal.  My Dad loved to dance, kid around, make up silly songs and laugh; most of all, he loved his wife and every single one of us kids.  My Dad was a man of few words. He didn’t need them I suppose. His actions spoke volumes.  My Dad .. showed up.

More than 6 years have passed since he left us and it doesn’t get easier. You don’t get over it. Time does not heal.  We. Just. Get. Through. It.

But … still … as much as I long to hear his voice and see his kind face,  I continue to be overwhelmed with gratitude. Gratitude for the gift of a kind and loving father.  Who gets that? I did. So lucky.

…. and I’d love, love, love … to dance with my father again.

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Categories: Animals, Attitude, Determination, Family, Gratitude, Home, Joy, Life, Love, Men, Opinion, Share, Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | 25 Comments

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25 thoughts on “On Fathering

  1. Oh, MJ – tears are streaming down my face after reading this. SO, SO sweet.
    (I’m sure you read my post Friday that I never knew my dad, so reading this just makes me realize how very much I missed out on…..)

    Wishing you and your family a nice Father’s Day afternoon.
    Thanks for sharing your memories of your Dad.

    • I did read your post, Dianna, and I am sorry you didn’t know your Dad.

      I was one of the lucky ones…. thank you for your sweet words, MJ

  2. Well said!

  3. You were and are a very lucky girl. Each phrase of what you wrote is beautiful. I loved all the phrases coming one right after the other. I didn’t want them to end, and when they did, I read them again. Thank you for introducing us to an amazing father and person and sharing indelible memories of him.

  4. This was excellent, MJ. I laughed when you mentioned those honking their horn could just continue driving … A guy friend of mine took me to a classical guitar concert. Rather than coming to the door, he honked. I was not bothered in the least, because there was no romance between us. However, my Dad was not amused. Though he said nothing prior to me leaving, he expressed his feelings and concerns the next morning.

    My Dad taking the time to tell me I was worth more meant the world to me. ~ Lenore

  5. You are right on as usual. My dad has been gone since 1980 and just recently I have been missing him more than usual. Maybe because Father’s Day was coming up. Anyway, thank you for sharing your feelings and memories about him. It was really lovely to read.

    • Thank you, Lissa. I miss him all the time and sometimes the grief is a little closer to the surface; Father’s Day can do that to us. Thank you for weighing in, MJ

  6. What a wonderful tribute. My dad, too, was a man of few words, so somewhere in there I learned to listen to him when he spoke. He was a man of simple pleasures who liked nothing better than a big family dinner when we were all together. Well, that and bowling.

    Very lucky indeed.

    • He sounds like a great guy; thanks, Steve, for your thoughts, too. It’s funny how effective a few words can be isn’t it? (( we have to actively listen!! ))

      -MJ

  7. What a beautiful tribute to your father! I like your comment that he didn’t need a lot of words, that his actions spoke for him. That’s the way I would like to be remembered too (although I don’t think anyone is likely to think that I don’t say much!).

    Thank you for sharing!

    Sheila

    • Thank you; he was a sweet and kind-hearted man. He never met a stranger, he talked to all animals, dogs showed up on the farm and stayed because of him, and little kids wanted to be with him. Great guy; missed every day. MJ

  8. What a beautiful and moving tribute to what appeared to be a wonderful father!

  9. What a beautiful person your father was and indeed a lucky woman you are to have had him in your life. You brought me to tears thinking of you missing such an important piece of you…

    • Aww, Jessie, thank you. I loved your story about your “Pops” as well; so fortunate to have (and had) such good men in our lives. Cheers! MJ

  10. The way you talk about him, I love him, too. He sounds like the kind of man God intended men, husbands, fathers and grandfathers to be. Thanks for sharing your blessing with us.

  11. That was a lovely tribute, MJ…he sounds like a wonderful man! It sounds like you inherited many of his good qualities! I loved the honking part too…I think that’s one of the rudest things you can do!

    Wendy

    • Thank you .. and he was. And the honking? Yeah .. not happening .. ever. He was pretty easy going but not when it came to things like that. Funny! MJ

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