“You cannot change what you won’t acknowledge.” – Dr. Phil
Boy, do I get that.
Change. Is. Hard.
Everyone says it.
And it’s true .. right?
Sometimes what needs our attention is obvious: exercise more, eat better, get more rest, blah, blah, blah.
But I don’t think that’s where most of us struggle.
I think we get bogged down before we even start … because .. before you can change anything.. you first have to acknowledge it. To see it. And for many of us, me included, it’s easier to keep on doing what we’ve always done.
For a lot of us, recognizing an issue is the hardest part of change.
Why?
Because once we see it, and I mean really see it, it’s a bit like stepping out onto your front porch wearing only your underwear: You’re. Completely. Vulnerable. Unlike in the past, when we’ve strolled through life blissfully unaware that our fly was open or a skirt was tucked into our pantyhose, once you know, and once you get it, it feels like everyone else does, too.
And I think it’s right there that we get stuck.
Isn’t it easier to be who you’ve always been? C’mon, it’s comfortable to play a familiar role, to be the “go to” gal, the funny guy, the chubby girl, the reliable neighbor. Why? Because when we acknowledge what we want to change, we realize that we may actually have to do something about it. And that feels … risky. Why? Because taking action feels like a threat to all that we know; will it undermine our relationships? What happens when we don’t do as everyone expects? If we Lysol the toxic people out of our friendship cupboard, who will remain?
I’ve asked myself all those questions and discovered something unexpected in the discomfort: It’s here that growth lives.
Change. Is. Hard.
Or is it?