Turns out a post I wrote last year has had visitors recently. Namely me!
That’s right, peeps, with the holiday season approaching, I do believe it is time to revisit the relationship filing system.
What’s that you ask?
It’s an effective way of “coping” with the idiosyncrasies of interpersonal relationships. You know .. ones that cause you to stop and say … hmm.
File # 1: The “Now you know” (NYK) file. If someone disappoints you, hurts you, slights you, double-crosses you, steals from you, cheats on you, or lies to you… file them in the NYK file. It’s up to you to decide if and when to let them out.
NOTE: The NYK can be filled with positives, too. My NYK is also filled up with friends who’ve been there when we’ve suffered a loss, lent a hand, or simply stayed close by when we were struggling.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. – Maya Angelou
File 2: The “Jimmy Cracked Corn” (JCC) file. (from the childhood song, “Jimmy Cracked Corn and I don’t care…”) This is the “I don’t care, I’m done worrying about it/feeling responsible for it/can’t fix it anyways” file. The JCC file is perfect for situations involving a lot of drama, detrimental for you to be in (lose: lose situation) and are often operated by “energy vampires.” What’s powerful about using this system is that it always ABSOLVES you of someone else’s bad behavior.
If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. – Maya Angelou
Example 1: Someone you work with steals your cost-savings idea, becomes the company hero and gets all the credit. Your credit. File: NYK. Resolve to never give them the same opportunity again; unless it’s not a big deal to you and, if that’s the case, move them to the JCC file.
Example 2: The snarpy relative who only calls when she wants something and then, in the process, makes derogatory comments .. about you .. to you. File? JCC.
I have had my share of Jimmy Cracked Corn contenders – enough make me a corn casserole. On that note … here’s a simple but yummy recipe for a (cold) Corn Casserole containing several unexpected ingredients:
- 2 cans of kernel corn, drained
image from google.images.com
- 1 cup of shredded cheddar
- 3 green onions, chopped including greens
- about 1/4 cup of chopped red onion
- 1 to 1 1/2 cups of of mayonnaise (enough to hold the above ingredients together).
Fold ingredients together, top with crushed BBQ flavored Corn Chips (Hey! I didn’t say this was healthy, I said it was yum-my) and serve.
You’ll have yourself a crunchy, creamy side-dish to enjoy and when you serve it, be sure to smile covertly and repeat after me, “Now you know!”
You’re too funny. What a healthy, yes, healthy way to distract oneself from those toxic relationships. Thank you for the recipe. It does look yummy and filling. What a great side dish, on the asides of life. Such a wise woman Maya Angelou. Something else I heard her say…I’m paraphrasing…something like this “If someone tells you they aren’t a good friend, believe them.”
…This exercise won’t cure all but it has stopped a lot of hand-wringing in me.
The “now you know” file is especially powerful and useful.
Enjoy the recipe! MJ
I checked the quote…”If someone tells you they aren’t a good person, believe them.” Maya Angelou
… that’s the one – thanks, Georgette!
MJ
i’m not a big corn fan (except for on the cob) but i would definitely eat that…sounds soul satisfying (excuse the alliteration)
… it is. Thanks, Coop
MJ
Love your filing system
Prayers for your day
Well … I love it because it works. I have calmly shared this with other friends and have a few that I can whisper “corn” to and they totally get it. Cheers! MJ
Can’t wait to try it!
.. let me know how the filing and the recipe turns out for you! MJ
Great posting, Marilyn 🙂
… thank you, Helen. So practical – so useful – try it today!
🙂 MJ
I think that we have a similar “filing system”, but I just “cut ’em loose” from my presence after they mess with me…until they prove otherwise. They’re a waste of my time.
yes! Effective and … necessary 🙂 Thanks Rich – MJ
Love your filing system. I have one to add, and I absolutely LOVE it when I can use this. It’s the NMP file: “Not My Problem”.
Oh yeah – so liberating isn’t it?
Cheers! MJ
Awesome filing system, and I can see how flexible it is…it could work for anyone. So many people in my “NYK” file and a few in the “JCC” file for sure. Also, the recipe looks yummy!
Absolutely it is flexible and do-able. I credit my cousin, Debra, with coming up with this … she taught me and I’m passing it on to you. And that recipe? Naughty but yes yumm-o!
Cheers MJ
This is a colorful dish and seems the perfect addition to Thanksgiving. I tried a corn pudding once and it was more pudding than corn. This looks perfect.
It’s pretty yummy … you may have use more or less mayo depending on how moist you like it. I had it at an office potluck recently and it was perfect alongside some bbq pork 🙂 MJ
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Thanks for pointing me to this today, MJ! I needed it and will definitely be employing a similar system in my life in the near future.
I wish it weren’t necessary but I can tell you with absolute certainty that it works: I referred back to this system on my last visit home and the peace it gave me was a beautiful thing. I felt like a grown-up, so calm, so rational, so comfortable! You were kind to have stepped up and organized the family gathering and I found myself still thinking about your recent experiences this morning. Take care!! MJ