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On actions

It felt good to get out of the house for a few hours last night; I’ve been sick and we’ve been home-bound for our entire vacation.  Hubbs has taken good care of me and I made sure he heard me telling others as such; his roosterfied chest told me he was happy to be appreciated.

A group of us gathered for a friend’s birthday and someone took it upon herself to question another’s intentions.  I know the person who started it and I know her heart; it’s good. It’s her delivery that’s not.

Too much was said to someone she doesn’t know all that well and feelings were hurt. It wasn’t necessary and her actions threw a wet blanket over an otherwise fun evening.

I kept seeing this visual and thought it was worth sharing … especially as we all go forward into a new night, a new day, and a new year.

People will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You might have a heart of gold but so does a hard-boiled egg. 

Keep your words soft and sweet, you never know which ones you'll have to eat

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Categories: Forgiveness, Friendship, Growth, Life, Opinion, Personal, Relationships, Thoughts | Tags: , | 20 Comments

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20 thoughts on “On actions

  1. I love this! And I have another twist on the actions/intentions thing: We judge ourselves by our intentions, but we judge others by their actions. Obviously, I can know if my heart is in the right place, regardless of how my actions turn out, so if I make a mistake, I find it easy to forgive if I truly meant well…but I can’t see into other’s hearts, and so it can be challenging to extend this grace. Particularly if we do not know the other person well.

    Thank you for sharing. Love the line about hard boiled eggs having a heart of gold! ~ Sheila

    • You make an excellent point, Sheila. We cannot know what’s in someone’s heart – good or bad. I never expect it when it’s bad and I tend to assume it’s good … so it’s confusing sometimes. All we can do is know where WE stand and hope our actions mirror our intentions.

      Happy New Year!
      MJ

  2. Ooooo…some great hmmms you have given. Will add them to my collection for future pondering. Thanks MJ and have a blessed New Year!

  3. Such a good discussion. The older I get, the more the phrase ‘less is more’ seems to rise to the forefront of my mind! I’m just not sure that I always know my heart/intentions as well as I think I might. I’m afraid I’ve learned the hard way that overly insisting on my point of view or trying to persuade someone…even for what I might think is their best interest…isn’t a good idea. Well I just try and think of the ol’ golden rule. And try not to speak to others in any way that I wouldn’t want to be spoken to. All easier said than done.

    • Well, I think we’ve all had those “less than gracious” moments when we thought we were just expressing ourselves but, looking back, can see we might have overdone it. I think the lesson in this one was that here was a person I know very, very well, whom I see on a regular basis – she has a very giving, loving heart but her delivery did anything but convey that message.

      Bests to you & yours, Adrienne!
      MJ

  4. Oh, MJ, I’m sorry your night out had a downside. That’s too bad. Glad you’re feeling better though.
    I learned long ago that it isn’t always WHAT you say: it’s the way you say it!
    Happy New Year, MJ!

  5. I love it–the perfect metaphor! Sorry the evening wasn’t otherwise, but I’m glad to hear you are feeling better. Happy New Year, MJ!
    Kathy

  6. Once again, words of wisdom. Glad you are feeling better.

  7. I’m glad you’ve recovered enough to go out. So sorry someone put a damper on the festivities.

    As much as I know people sometimes feel they have a right to say what’s on their mind, I wonder how they don’t think ahead to the impact of their words. Or do they not care? (I know some who don’t.)

    I like your philosophy. I always have similar thoughts in mind as words leave my mouth.

    Happy New Year, MJ!

    • Thank you, Terri. In this instance, I think alcohol was a factor, too. Doesn’t make it OK, but I think it added some liquid courage and their sense of restraint fell completely out the window. Not good.

      Happy New Year to you! MJ

  8. That, my friend, is perfect. Thanks.

  9. Even a dampened evening has its lessons. Thanks for sharing it with us in such a well-written way.

    Since I always thinks I’m funny, I have occasionally overstepped the line you described. So I’ve learned over the years that I generally need to be my own target. I KNOW when I mean well and when I am really insulting — and since it is all self directed, it makes social engagements MUCH easier!

    Happy new year (again!) Glad you’re feeling better.

    • You take a creative approach to have fun and not hurt anyone else … and I appreciate that you are aware enough to know that going in. Happy New Year to you 🙂 MJ

  10. Words are hard to erase. And though they do not hurt physically, they still can damage the heart.

    Keep your words soft and sweet. YES!

    All the best, each and every day, MJ.

    • My heart still stings for the words that were said – and they weren’t even directed at me!!
      Good to hear from you, Marion.

      MJ

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