What I would tell her

What I would tell her, that curly haired teenager .. is that love, real love, doesn’t exist anywhere in the vicinity of hometown boys with pickup trucks.

What I would tell her, that determined college girl … is that love, real love,  is rarely found after 2:00 a.m.

What I would tell her, that young wife with a roustabout husband and a child to raise, is that real men will take any job they can to care for their own and that this one .. this one is not real and never was.

What I would tell her, that newly single parent .. is that those chubby three year old arms offer plenty enough affection and that being alone is far better than what came right before it.

What I would tell her, that 20 something woman with a career and a grip on life, is to trust her instincts when she meets someone wonderful.

What I would tell her, that gun-shy girl, is that when she meets someone who feels like home, she’ll know.  She’ll know when she realizes she can be exactly who she is when they’re together. Not changing a thing. And that he loves her just the way she is.

What I would tell her, is that when real love finds her, she’ll watch her five year old fall in love first.  Then she’ll know it’s safe for her to do the same.

That’s what I would tell her, if I could have a chat with my younger self; I would tell her that butterflies are worth waiting for and to never, ever settle.

For more, read  It Had to Be You.

 *  *  *

“Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.” – Carrie Bradshaw,  Sex and the City.

image courtesy of welovebutterflies.com

Categories: Faith, Joy, Life, Love, Men, News, Relationships, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , | 52 Comments

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52 thoughts on “What I would tell her

  1. Aw… MJ, what a sweet, special post!
    I don’t recall ever reading “It had to be you”, but it’s just wonderful. What connects me to your posts is that my Motor Man has always been such a wonderful step-dad to my son.
    And also…. my past with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!
    Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your love.

  2. Beautiful MJ, both posts!
    ~d.

  3. This is so beautifully written. CA daughter is a single mom and this just fills me with hope that she’ll come to know and recognize such wisdom. Yes, “butterflies” are worth waiting for, the butterflies one feels when you’re in his presence. Happy Valentine’s Day! Thank you for this Valentine of hope.

    • Thank you, Georgette. I hope the same for your daughter; tell her, for me, that it’s possible. I didn’t know that at the time and had resolved myself to being alone. It was better than where I’d been, but it was awfully lonesome at times. I am glad to know that my little post gave you hope … hugs! MJ

  4. Beautiful and wise! If only our older, wiser self could teach the younger version! I frequently look back on my younger self as though I was seeing a separate person, sometimes with wonder, sometimes with embarrassment. But I’ve learned to look with kindness, and when necessary, with forgiveness. That younger me was doing the best she could, and that’s all I can expect of myself, at any age.
    Thank you, MJ! ~ Sheila

    • Amen to that, Sheila! And you’re right – we ought to only look back with forgiveness and grace .. we learned along the way and while sometimes our actions were embarrassing or regrettable but at least we lived! HVD to you! MJ

  5. MJ, this truly is beautiful! Happy Valentine’s Day!

  6. isaiah43123

    What I would tell her… take God’s outstretched hand, trust Him to lead you, be patient as He does, and don’t try to figure out the whys; He knows what He is doing far better than you do.

    Keep the Faith!

  7. This is a truly beautiful post; it was so lovely to read. Happy Valentine’s day to you and all those you love!

  8. What a precious post, MJ! Happy Valentine’s Day, my friend!
    Hugs,
    Kathy

  9. If only knew then what I know now…great post!

  10. Pingback: I Love You More Today… « jeanne's blog…a nola girl at heart

  11. Oh, this was just beautiful, MJ. The line “feels like home” gave me chills. Happy Valentine’s Day to you!

  12. Thank you, MJ, for giving me goosebumps. You are a very special person.
    Love,
    Mar

  13. You are so good at this whole writing and life lesson thing. This was beautiful.

    • Thank you, LD. Sometimes these just posts just write themselves and the words pour out; that was the case with this one. I’m glad you enjoyed it,
      MJ

  14. Wisdom that speaks out loud to any who will read and choose to listen. Here is hoping your words circle the globe?

  15. I’m so glad you found your happy ending. Clearly it was worth the wait.

    • Yes! It was worth the wait – and the best part? So was I? If only I’d known then what I know now and that’s to slow down and know yourself before becoming a wife or a mom. Cheers Terri! MJ

  16. I loved this so much I had to walk away and come back and read it again before I commented. Some of the most beautiful love stories are all about the timing. Your letters to younger you tell it all…….thanks for putting a smile on my face 🙂

  17. ‘never, ever settle’, perfect. Lovely post, MJ.

  18. Stunning and stunning and more stunning. Having been raised by a single mom, this line hit so close to home for me: “she’ll watch her five year old fall in love first. Then she’ll know it’s safe for her to do the same.” Sounds like you’ve got a pretty wonderful perspective on love and never settling for less!

    • Thank you; at the time, I couldn’t quite see it. I can see it now – and that’s the desire to look back and know that as hard as it was at times, it prepared me because I learned to appreciate the good when I saw it .. eventually!

      Thank you for your comments .. MJ

  19. Very nice!

  20. I think I will share this with my 20 year old son. So he gets it right, and so if it is not right from his side, he will know it.

    Beautiful post. MJ.

  21. Oh MJ, this is just beautiful! I hope you had a gorgeous Valentine’s Day. ❤

    • Hey Jaclyn Rae! Good to see you here again :). Thank you for your kind words of support – and hope you had a fab Valentine’s Day, too! MJ

  22. MJ, I’m just now having a chance to come over and read your Valentine post. How beautifully written — and what a meaningful, encouraging message for so many — especially those who are tempted to “settle.” I’m thankful your story has had a happy ending.

    I notice you ‘liked’ my post tonight, so you’ve already seen it. Thanks for the inspiration for it — and the discussion about the Queen(!) It was fun!

    Cheers to you! =)

    • Thank you, I am so glad you liked it. If I had known then that I could have – and deserved – real love, I wouldn’t have been so impatient. I didn’t know, but I know now, and that’s why I wanted to tell the story.

      I loved your post – and I love our Queen. She’s quite a lady and yes, our discussion was very fun — Cheers!
      MJ

  23. MJ, I really loved this post. Interesting how much we learn when we look back, isn’t it.

    BTW, you had me all the way on this post … UNTIL you quoted Carrie Bradshaw. hehe

    • Aww, thanks, MJ. If it makes you feel better, please know that a fabulous writer (probably a blogger) wrote those words for “her.”

      Chees!
      MJ

  24. I’m sure there are others who need to hear that message, too. Thanks for sharing, off to read the post you linked.

    • Thank you and what would you tell your younger self? 🙂 MJ

      • 1) stop fighting the curly hair 2) demand your own paycheck when you join the family business (for Soc.Sec. reasons) 3) don’t assume the pain from the auto accident will eventually go away.

  25. Such a sweet post! I love it.

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