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Fill ‘er up

“Many of us harbor hidden low self-esteem. We deem everything & everyone more important than ourselves and think that meeting their needs is more important than meeting our own. But if you run out of gas, remember that everyone riding with you will be left stranded by the side of the road, too.”

– Bishop T.D. Jakes

I read that quote and saw myself in there.

Yep, it was like a slap with a wet towel, the kind my brother used to deliver near Mom’s kitchen sink.

Sharing it here, please know, I’m not advocating selfishness.

I’m just saying that when you’re busy making this weekend’s to-do list, it’s perfectly OK to leave a little room on it … for you.

When you run out of gas, how do you fill back up again?

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Categories: Attitude, Family, Fun, Home, Joy, Life, Mom, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | 31 Comments

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31 thoughts on “Fill ‘er up

  1. I go to the beach at sunrise!

    • beautiful!! I’ll bet that is very energizing … Me? I cook. Just got finished marinating chicken and making burgers, stir fried some market veggies & made a pasta salad for hubbs. Now it’s time for a quick shower and then retreat to the patio for grillin & chillin. Cheers! MJ

  2. Good advice.

  3. I love the video. Reminds me of me and my best friend or my brother.

    What I do to recharge….take a drive, have some dessert in our sunroom, little stuff.

    At what point do you quit “doing stuff” for folks who don’t recognize that you’re doing something for them? I don’t need a dinner in my honor, plaque or thanked everytime (or even occassionally)…..but when my self esteem starts getting ‘dinged’ from these slights (real or imagined) when do I start looking for other venues to “entertain”? Your advice would be appreciated.
    R

    • I knew you’d love it .. that show was hilarious. It’s off the air now, but I did manage to catch a few episodes here in MI (we’re not that far off of CTV’s and CBC’s grid πŸ™‚ ).

      I know exactly what you write of here. I’ve learned that sometimes me doing for others is because I want to as much as it helps them. I wrote about learning how to step away from that here
      https://emjayandthem.com/2011/08/13/it-doesnt-serve-me-anymore/

      My advice? Stop. See who notices. You might be surprised to know that the only one who does is you .. I had that experience myself. πŸ™‚

      On the flip side, I am not surprised that you do for others … you just strike me as that kind of guy. πŸ™‚ MJ

      • Thank you for your advice. I’ve done the “stepping away” thing before, and stayed away…only to get a phone call six months later asking “why don’t we ever do stuff?” One sided friendships aren’t for me.

        Anyway….I’ve come to the realization that many of my “pranks/jokes” for loved ones, or so-called “kind deeds” are as much for me as it is for them. It makes me feel good that they feel good….and I don’t think that’s “wrong” persay…..it means that I need to check my motives if I’m expecting a “thank you” or recognition.

        I’ll check out your link. Have a great week and good luck with the graduation party (take plenty of photos!)
        R

      • I hear you, Rich. I’ve cut off more than a few “friendships” that were really only 1 sided relationships. They were great for the other person, not so much for me.

        You have a great weekend, too
        MJ

  4. MJ, this reminds me of the flight attendants advising us to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first in the event of an emergency. If we pass out from lack of oxygen, we certainly can’t be of use to anybody else. Fill up that tank friend and have a safe and enjoyable holiday!

    • Yes! That’s exactly it … so very true. I spent the day planting annuals and cooking; our oldest son, his wife & the grands stopped in for a quick visit & a kiss hello (smile!) and now I’m off to grill with hubbs and listen to some new (old) tunes I just downloaded from Amazon. Whee!

      Have a happy weekend yourself, MJ

  5. Couldn’t have come at a better time MJ… runnin’ on empty today. Gardening some fills me back up usually although I feel lower than that even and a trip to the shore feels in order.
    *anna

  6. What a nice little lesson today, MJ – from you AND the previous commenters. I guess the sunrises and sunsets fill my “tank”, and gardening….and Sundae, and most especially my Motor Man and Marshall!

    • Yes — I can see that in you – nature, fences, flowers, landscapes, family and a super cute kitty — wonderful πŸ™‚ Have a happy weekend!
      MJ

  7. I’m in a similar space today. Just being thankful for where I am right now πŸ™‚

  8. πŸ˜€ Thanks for the clip, MJ. It made me laugh on a day I woke up in a not-very-good mood. Truthfully, right about now I’d like to be doing something for someone else instead of everyone doing everything for me. But I’m sure in a few weeks I will be back to wanting time for myself, in which case I sit outside with a good book (knowing I can get up and go back inside whenever I want).

    • Understand. I went through that last year when I had my foot surgery – and realized that I was not a very patient patient :). Hang in there, before you know it, you will be back to doing it all and feeling taken-for-granted like the rest of us! πŸ™‚ Cheers!!
      MJ

  9. I’ve only heard TD Jakes a couple of times but everything I’ve heard leaves me wanting more. Thanks for the encouragement! DM

    • I like his stuff a lot — down to earth, always encouraging and quotes that make me stop & go “hmmmm.” Good stuff!

      MJ

  10. Lately, I’ve come to define being selfish as taking care of myself so that I can take care of others. We need to discern the difference between being selfish and being thoughtless. Taking, without the intent of giving or passing on some of what you’ve taken, is thoughtless. However, if your cup is empty, you have nothing to give.

    “Many of us harbor low self esteem.” So true. How can we love our neighbors as ourselves, when we don’t love ourselves? Be selfish, learn to love yourself. And for goodness sake, put on your oxygen mask first!

    I fill back up by snapping photographs out in nature.

    • Excellent point – the difference between selfish and thoughtless … so very true.
      Thank you for stopping by!
      MJ

  11. I fill back up by crawling into bed with a good book–which may be what I do in honor of Memorial Day. It’s been infernal here. Gotta stay in the ac. By the way, hope you have a great holiday, my friend.
    Hugs,
    Kathy

    • Ooh that sounds divine! πŸ™‚ It was hot here yesterday but cooled off … so I opened the windows last night. I was curled up in a peaceful sleep and woke to the sun burning my pillow. Time to get up and flip the AC ON!! Happy Memorial Day to you, Kathy. Cheers! MJ

  12. When I’m running on empty, good sleep and doing something, anything that feels productive and fulfilling is what lifts me back up.

    • You are so right, so many people I know cut their sleep short and suffer the consequences … great tip! πŸ™‚ MJ

  13. Yes, this is a challenge for sure! You can’t give what you don’t have. I have to relearn this on a regular basis…not sure why…running out of gas, or oxygen, just sneaks up on me! Funny that being balanced in any area of life takes regular and persistent effort, even when it comes to taking care of myself, or others. Thanks for the reminder! ~ Sheila

    • I know, you are right, it does take consistent effort. Maybe that’s the lesson – that one time isn’t enough? For me, that’s really hard to learn. I tend to give it all away then have 0 left for me!

      Cheers! MJ

  14. I guess all brothers get the wet towel slap class early on!

  15. Pingback: Filling the tank | Emjayandthem's Blog

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