Playing with fire

“Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it.”  Candace Bushnell, “Sex and the City”

Sophia Loren and Jayne Mansfield;

Do you think women dress for the men in their lives … or the women?

When it’s date night, I enjoy dressing the way hubbs appreciates ….  all boom-chica-mow-mow and then some.  And he does the same for me.   (Without the boom-chica-stuff… makes most guys feel ridiculous).

But, I never dress that way unless he’s with me. No, when I’m with friends, colleagues or even family, I am non-threatening in my attire.  I dress to fit in; conservatively, tastefully, and buttoned-uppedy.

So, with that being said, can I just say that I love being a girl?

Can I just say that I love having curves that I keep contained for the Hubbs?

Can I just say that, for all the pony-riding, tomboyish days of my youth, that I love getting my nails done and fixing my hair and feeling pretty and foxy and all sassy-frassy?

Can I just say that I absolutely, without hesitation, embrace my feminine strengths, the ones who let me rock a pencil skirt and heels and a power drill all in the same day?

Oh, I think I can say it:  I do believe I just did.

image from

How about you?  Does your wardrobe change for the various roles in your life?

What makes you feel fine?

* * *

*This post was inspired by my closet and the various characters living within.

Categories: Attitude, Beauty, Men, Opinion, Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 36 Comments

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36 thoughts on “Playing with fire

  1. Good for you, MJ! I applaud your confidence and inner beauty.
    I’ve never been comfortable all dolled-up, because I literally cannot get comfortable. I prefer khakis and sweaters or jeans and t-shirts. I prefer to sit Indian style in whatever chair I find. So, pants are always better for me. 🙂

    • There are countless photos of me as a little girl in a dress for some family event, always with a skinned knee. :). I wear lots of jeans and slacks now but also love a dress or a skirt and mostly, I love to wear something that fits and flatters me and makes me feel fine.

      Loved your “Indian style” reference – and I get it 🙂


  2. Loved this post and couldn’t agree more! When I go out with my husband I love to dress for the occasion. I’m definitely someone who loves being in my jeans and t-shirts, being outside, and I’m definitely a tomboy…But I also love being girly and getting all dressed up, especially when it’s for my husband 🙂

    • For sure! I have my “Mom” clothes (what I wear to the grocery store), my “Nana” clothes (like Mom clothes but have to be able to bend and scoop in those), my work clothes, my go-see-a-movie with a friend clothes and my “date night” clothes. It only recently hit me (while re-organizing my closet) that there are several characters lurking within.

      Great to hear from you again, Dounia 🙂

  3. Cute post, MJ. I’m afraid I don’t do any of that sassy-frassy stuff, although Motor Man would probably LOVE it. Dressing up for me is just dressy black slacks and a nice top. Boring, huh?? But give me my JEANS any old time!
    Love that the tomboy in you loves getting all dolled up!

    • No, you’re not boring at all! I wear more dresses & skirts in the summer but will still pull out one in winter. I just realized of late that I have compartmentalized all the “me’s” in my life – Mom, Nana, friend, and my husband’s date 🙂

  4. PS – love your new header…..and how ’bout a pic of the sassy-frassy MJ???

  5. Good for you, MJ! I’m with you on this one! Go for it!

    • Yeah Yeah! I recently got rid of a bunch of clothes that were too big and mostly – too boring. The colors and fit were uninspired and they were items that made me feel like … meh. It occurred to me that I kept the “fun” clothes – the ones that fit, flatter and make me feel fine 🙂

  6. I love that last saying. SO true 🙂 xo, Tobi

  7. LOVE THE PIC!! Too funny. I dress pretty conservatively. Although now that I weight 111 pounds less than a year ago, I dress in things that fit, rather than hide my body 🙂

  8. The girls in our house–well, when they’re home– we have a mutual admiration society–they like that I am thin, and I just marvel at where their curves came from?? At home, I’m in jeans and at school I do try to dress “cute” as my students say.

  9. My wardrobe never used to change. It was always jeans and boots or nicer jeans and boots when I’d go out. But I’ve noticed the older I get the more I find I’m being attracted to more girly kind of stuff (even jewelry!)…course that girly stuff still has to go with my boots.
    That picture you’ve found is Hilarious! Loved it.

    • Personally, I think boots are hot. And I’m a jewelry junkie … I’ve started taking more “risks” with how I pair things and having fun with color especially. I have more turquoise now than ever.

      Agree, that photo is hilarious and Sophia Loren is a total bombshell, like she ever had any reason to feel “less than.”


  10. “This post was inspired by my closet and the various characters living within.” – love that last line. It’s so true. We dress to our moods and the characters that they inspire.

    • You got it sister! Today it’s dark and rainy here in West MI and I’m off on a road trip towards OH … I’m wearing a pretty sweater set in raspberry just b/c the color makes me happy. It’s dark enough outside without me adding more dark colors to the mix 🙂

      During the week, I’m conservative at work and with friends but I can have fun with the fit and such on the weekends. Whee!

  11. I’m not a girly-girl either, MJ. I’m glad you are, though. Enjoy!

    • I am a true Gemini: on on hand I am the person in the family (of guys) who can and will crawl under the deck to adjust and fix the pool pump, I’ll figure out how to rig up a drain to get water off the cover, and I’m the one who fixes the toys that the grandkids can’t get to work. But … I can transform into someone feminine and curvy and have a great night out with the Hubbs. I don’t suffer fools lightly and have little patience for women I’ve met who say ” I can’t. ” I say, “watch me and learn how.”

      Clothes help me express all facets of my ridiculous personality!

  12. Hey, love the photo! Low cut dresses of today have nothing on Jayne Mansfield! And Sophia’s look…hmm…wonder what she was thinking?

    Fun that you can dress up or down, sexy or prim, and enjoy each style in turn. I like your terms…sassy, buttoned uppedy…very descriptive! I tend to save the sexy dress for vacation. And yes, for my husband. My other two styles are very casual, or business wear.

    I saw a cute quote on Pinterest…”I don’t know if you know this, but your boobs go inside your shirt.” Loved this, I’ve seen a few girls/women who might benefit from this tip! ~ Sheila

    • I think maybe Sophia was thinking “Hey don’t those belong inside your dress?” Sophia is a gorgeous woman and that photo reminds me that even someone as spectacular as she is could ever have a moment of insecurity or unease.

      Like you, I vacillate between casual (grocery shopping, grand-kids), business wear (work), “country club casual” out with a girlfriend or girlified for the hubbs. My closet reflects this and all items that don’t fit or make me feel wonderful have been exiled.

      Thanks for weighing in, Sheila. This post was fun to write and it was also fun to read everyone’s responses. 🙂

    • I love that–they go inside your shirt! LOL Who knew??

      • Well, I don’t know that I would ever use this line myself…I don’t usually seek confrontation, and I’m pretty sure this remark wouldn’t win me any friends! But I definitely think it at times! ~ Sheila

      • ha ha! 🙂 MJ

  13. Good question. We live a very very casual lifestyle around the house, but when we go out, I think we try hard to look good for each other — and it really is for each other. I love it when The Beloved thinks I look handsome. 🙂

    • Exactly = it’s “for each other.” I love to compliment the Hubbs, too, and while I know he always gets a little bit embarrassed, his shy smile gives him away. Great to hear from you, Stevil. MJ

  14. Love that photo! I’m most comfortable in loose, baggy, comfortable clothes, but am finding that I am now dressing more attractively for him. He says I look good for my age and should be not hide it. And I then realized that the comfortable loose, baggy clothes really do age me…I was starting to look like my mother’s generation. No thanks!

    • I know, of course loose, baggy clothes are comfy … but you’re right .. not only do they age you, they add pounds to you .. visually! I wear petite sizes but many are designed for women 20 years older than me. No thanks, I don’t want ducks or ship anchors on my sweater!

      Cheers! MJ

  15. Great post, MJ. I’ll let you know when I wear the sexy clothes just as soon as I can get back into them. It won’t be long — I’m on the treadmill now. ;J)

    • Good for you .. I’ve learned I can wear something flattering at every size I’ve been .. sometimes I’ve hidden in baggy stuff but then I realized that just adds lbs .. play up your assets and rock it out 🙂

  16. cooper

    The pink taffeta outfit makes me feel all warm inside although it garners some awkward glances at the Moose Hall….

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