Daily Archives: November 3, 2012

A newly swathed ship leaves the harbor

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As a child, springtime found us running alongside ditches gushing with water; my cousins and I loved nothing more than launching our boats and racing to see how far they’d go.  Armed with rubber boots and wind-breakers, we’d suffer boot-fulls of icy water and, more than once, we fell in trying to retrieve our crafts from the currents.

Life’s like that, you know.  We sail along on our comfortable routes, confident we understand the stream enough to relax into it.  Jobs become stale, but we don’t do anything because, well, we have a job.  It pays the bills and maybe even a bit more.  We don’t complain but secretly, secretly we miss what it feels like to race alongside the current.

And then once, once in a great while, an opportunity arises that makes us think about venturing out onto unfamiliar ground, sticking a toe in the water, and we wonder if we can even make it to the other side.

We have a choice: go with what we know or go for it.

I went for it.

A company restructuring occurred and I launched my boat into the churning waters of corporate mayhem. It was stressful yet invigorating beyond description.  I’ve had many meetings with many people, gulped down my shyness, talked up past accomplishments and then had to do something I’m not used to doing …  I had to sell it.  I had to make sure they knew how much I wanted it and how appointing anyone but me would be a mistake.

But I did it and, after many weeks, I got it:  I got the job I’ve worked years to get and Monday … I start.   And, on top of that, I’ll still do my old job until I find a replacement.  Still, I’m ready to take on what wasn’t done, learn what I don’t know, and navigate the new structure.

And then yesterday something hit me, something I hadn’t had time to consider:  in my new role, I’m going to be in front of a lot of more people.  Important people: Legislators, Department Heads, Vice Presidents.  I need new clothes and this is a girl who hates to shop.   Exercising and eating better changed my shape; that old stuff no longer fits.  And it isn’t just that the old wardrobe doesn’t  fit my hips or my waist, it’s that they don’t  fit me.    They fit who I was, but not who I am today.

Now, I have a voice and an opportunity to use it.   I will be swathed in some new duds, in colors and styles that fit and flatter and my intention is to carry myself in a way that says, “If you don’t like being a doormat then get off the floor.“*

 * * * *

How ’bout you?  Thought about launching your ship lately? What’s stopping you?

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I have to give a special shout-out to the Hubbs (who will never read this but I’ll be sure to tell him):  Over the course of all these weeks, we shared many late night chats, lots of “what-ifs” and a heckuva lotta “you deserve this, go for it.”

You were right and I couldn’t have done it without you.

..::  XO ::..

*doormat quote belongs to Amelia Earhart

Categories: fear, Growth, Joy, Men, Personal, Relationships, Uncategorized, Women, Work | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

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