Talking with my niece and nephew earlier this summer, I caught their attention when I said that Hubbs and I still date.
I saw the look of disbelief in their eyes and they saw the twinkle in mine.
One is in a long-term relationship and the other is not.
Leaning closer, I explained why we schedule weekly date nights and have since we first met more than 20 years ago. It doesn’t mean we go out or even spend any money, it just means we set aside that time – non negotiable time – for each other.
When we married, we became an instant family, (more here) so we’ve never had time that was just “ours.” We’ve never been on a Honeymoon; we’ve always been parents and that’s OK – it’s the life we chose and neither of us would change it. Our way to navigate together has been to schedule it, as a way to reconnect and reaffirm what we already know.
I’m glad we have prioritized this because:
- Date nights mean “I hear you.”
- Date nights mean “I love you.”
- Date nights mean “I’m here for you.”
- Date nights mean wearing something other than “Mom & Dad” clothes, a whiff of cologne, cleavage, a buttoned-down shirt, a swirly skirt and lipstick.
- Date nights mean “You are still it for me.”
- Date nights mean singing our songs, telling our work stories, and being in the moment.
- Date nights mean comfort, warmth, passion and love.
- Date nights mean “In spite of everything around us – jobs – kids – family – I still choose time with you over everything – and everyone – else.”
I love that he schedules tee times early enough so that he can come home, shower, change and spend the night with me. What girl wouldn’t love that in her man?
He loves that I use my time to do what interests me and, when he returns, he’s greeted by a warm and happy companion who looks nice, feeds him and wants to spend her night with him. What guy wouldn’t love that in his girl?
For us, date nights have always been the buoy we swim to against the undertow of daily living.
How about you? How do you nurture your relationship?