Bothering or brothering

There was no one happier than oldest son when the words “It’s a boy!” were announced.

Seven and a half years between them, he was the best baby helper anyone could ask for.

Peek-a-boos and I-love-yous, oh how those brothers played together.

Forts and castles, bikes and swords; skateboards, Legos and “come help me with my car.”

But …

Worlds change, boys grow up, and brothers move away.

But sometimes, like right now, their worlds come back together again.

And when that happens, parents get to see what they always knew:

A friend is a brother who was once a bother.”  ~Author Unknown

brothers .. then and now; an emjayandthem photo

Are you friends with your siblings? Are your kids good friends?

Categories: Faith, Family, Friendship, Life, Mom, Relationships, Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | 32 Comments

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32 thoughts on “Bothering or brothering

  1. I’m friends with all of my siblings, but one of my sisters is my best friend, outside of Sara. Love the photos from then and now!

  2. They’re starting to scatter geographically, but I hope they stay close electronically. I think all four of my kids genuinely enjoy each other’s company. I hope so anyway. Great pictures. Thanks for the post.

  3. One sibling lives close by, the other two are further away, yet we do get together at least once a year and phone often. fb helps.

  4. I didn’t have a brother…but a sister, who kept telling mom that she was an only child…thing is…mom started believing her.

  5. cooper

    My sister and I are good friends…even though we do annoy each other from time to time, but we are well connected. Nice for you to see the boys come together.

    • of course you do; that’s what siblings do, right? 🙂 I am glad you are well connected. We’re relatively well connected … although I put thousands of miles between me and the rest of them. When I go home it’s hard sometimes b/c they don’t “know” me as an adult (I left at age 20) so we always have a period of re-adjustment.

      Yes, it’s been nice to see the boys come back together; I know they irritate each other but I also know that if one ever needed the other, he’d be there.

      • cooper

        so there’s yet another chance to get to ‘know’ you. sure it may not work but the possibilities are there…

      • you got it exactly. The ones who are genuinely interested dive right in … the ones who don’t, don’t. It is what it is.
        😉 MJ

      • cooper

        sez a lot about you that you are willing to walk through it. takes guts sometimes. you rock.

      • guts .. and alcohol! HA 🙂

  6. Love seeing them “then and now”! There’s 16 years difference between my sister and me, so we haven’t always been close.

    • Thank you; I loved that one of older brother reading to youngest as oldest was barely reading himself!

      16 years! Wow! I can imagine that it would be hard to relate sometimes .. talk about 2 different worlds 🙂


  7. Precious babies ( I mean, um, young men). The mom in me always wants to call them babies. I love this post. My son is an only child for now, but being the middle of 5 myself, I know full-well how special it is to give a kid the gift of a sibling.

    • Of course you do, Tori, I still call them that, too. Just after I posted this warm & fuzzy post, both came to me complaining about the other – now if that’s not true siblings, I don’t know what is! 🙂


  8. I’m friends with three out of my four sibs–not too bad! 🙂

  9. My girls became very close during the 4 years I lived overseas. And they are both very close to their brother.

  10. I hope my boys get there someday. There was always a rivalry and it still simmers there just below the surface most of the time. My oldest boy and youngest girl have become closer over the past couple of years, but I’m still waiting on the boys to make friends.

    As for my siblings and me… my sister and I are close. Our brothers stay in touch with each other. But there’s a gap between the sisters and the brothers, sadly.

    • There’s still a bit of a rivalry with these two and it’s been an adjustment on the youngest one to have his brother around so much more. He was used to having the run of everything – the remote, the leftovers, the pop. They are fundamentally quite different in how they approach things, but it’s when I hear them laughing together that I can see the similarities. I hope your boys will get there someday, too.

      My siblings and I are much like you describe yours – closer with some, some not so much. It is what it is and I doubt it will change. MJ

  11. This is so important! With all the distance between families today, trying to stay connected is an act of choice, will, priority! I am always looking to foster the relationship between my son and daughter. They were good friends growing up, but distance and being in very different places in life has made it harder for them to stay meaningfully connected. Still, they try, and I do my momly part to find ways to bring us all together. 🙂
    Glad to know your boys are well and reconnecting! ~ Sheila

    • I agree; kids have more opportunities now to be connected (Ipad, iPhone, facebook etc) but often isolate themselves to do it. What brought these two face to face again were some unusually stressful circumstances & a board game – sitting across the table helped bridge that gap. But it’s even harder when there’s distance; you have to make the effort and some of my siblings just don’t. I no longer worry about it, MJ

      • Yes, I have a similar situation with siblings..we do well enough when we’re together, but it is hard to bring us all to the same time zone these days! I haven’t really given up on anyone…but I accept that we all just do the best we can, and sometimes that’s not very much once we deal with the immediate family needs and the stress of daily life…maybe that’s just an excuse…but it’s also reality. I’ve found I do better to just accept what we have rather than get stressed because I don’t talk to my brothers too often. ~ Sheila

      • Amen to you, Sheila! Sounds like a very healthy approach you have there 🙂

  12. Very sweet post. And I love James Taylor, especially singing that song. It’s a classic!

    • Love that song; being typical brothers, less than 24 hours after I posted that sweet post, one walled the other a b*tthead and ate the last of the leftovers the 1st one wanted. The Circle of Life continues!
      🙂 MJ

  13. The quote makes me teary eyed. Joe and Charlie get along for the most part, but when they battle – oy – they battle hard. Being the youngest in my family, I fought with the two siblings closest to my age, but we are all very close these days. I trust Joe and Charlie will be brothers in the end.

    • I think so, too … and don’t you think battling with a sibling is good prep for life? I have some I did well with then and barely see/talk to now and others who weren’t as close then who are very close now. Funny how it changes .. MJ

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