Originally posted by Emjayandthem on December 15, 2010
It’s not something we do for others; we do it for ourselves so we can heal and move on.
I can’t count the number of conversations I’ve had with friends lately about how much they’re dreading the holiday get-together because their Dad is difficult or their Stepmom/sister/brother/cousin/aunt will be there and you know what they’re like. Hurt feelings, disappointments, stand-offs, words that should never have been said.
Add some booze to the mix and stir — wheee!
Not. So. Much.
It’s uncomfortable; it’s the elephant in the room.
It’s why they don’t want to go home. They’re considering staying put.
I know that not everything can be forgiven (abuse, violence) but, in my experience, more things can … than cannot. And when you let those past hurts go, something shifts: Your burden is lightened. Oh those others? They will remain as they are but something in you will change.
I know it’s not easily done but, trust me on this: it gets easier with practice. Like any skill, the more you do it the better you’ll be.
Forgiveness. It really can set you free.
I wish you peace.
* * *
“Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.” – Anne Lamott