Greed registries

This weekend, I looked over a Registry for a shower I’m invited to.

Holy Dollar Bill$, Batman!

Does anyone else remember Church basement showers where “you get what you get and you didn’t throw a fit?”

What happened to Pyrex baking pans wrapped creatively in gingham tea towels?

What happened to onesies and jammies in neutral colors?  Burp pads, receiving blankets and teddy bears?

What happened to cookbooks and measuring cups and pretty hand-towels that were nearly “too nice to use?”

What happened to baby quilts lovingly crafted by arthritic fingers?

What happened to the “dainties” (tea cakes or squares) and finger sandwiches laid out by ladies in their Sunday best?

Showers I grew up attending looked like this. Without the men!

Showers I grew up attending looked like this. Without the men!

I know there’s a practical side to registering .. but I still hate it.

I’m sorry, but it often just feels like a $hakedown.

So here’s what I do.

I say “no” to the gift greed registry.

I say no to $160 coffee makers and Margarita machines.

I say babies don’t need a $300 glider to be rocked.

I just say no.

But I always attend, and I always bring a gift, something lovely and practical, something wrapped with love and sincerity and my very best wishes.  Something not often found on the greed registry!

 * * * What are your thoughts on “gift registries?”

Categories: Attitude, Family, Growth, Home, Life, Opinion, Thoughts, Traditions, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | 26 Comments

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26 thoughts on “Greed registries

  1. I tend to appreciate the registries, and thankfully, the shower recipients (both bridal and baby) I’ve had experience with have had a wide range of items, priced from just a couple of dollars all the way up to the expensive items on the list. I always think of the pricey ones as being items the parents will buy 😉
    Hopefully the recipient will be appreciative of any and all gifts!
    (Oh, and I just can’t get used to the guys being in attendance either!)

    • You are far more patient/giving than I. There’s something about them that just tick me off. I need to settle down and go buy a present 🙂 Handling all those cute baby items will make me feel better, I’m sure.

  2. Two words…gift card!! Lol. I felt the same way when two young employees invited me to their wedding. I took a look at their gift registry and (I’m pretty sure that I said this out loud in Target) “oh hell NO!!” A Rachel Ray skillet and pan set…only $300, and the list went on and on like that. Being their boss and old enough to be their father I handed them the envelope with the gift card enclosed and explained to them that I didn’t feel that they needed $300 worth of pans painted red with a celebrity’s name embossed on it. They could decide what they wanted to do with the gift card together. The groom appreciated the gift and stated “we just need some cookware” to which I replied “We’re still using pans from when I was single, and Connie’s pans too.” Alas…stainless steel doesn’t wear out very easily…those pans might be older than Rachel Ray as Connie’s might have been “hand me down pans!! 😉

    AND…we still have in our kitchen cabinet some glassware from our wedding shower, as well as other kitchen utensils given to us by aunts and uncles and grandparents since passed. I treat them like fine china, since they were given to us almost 26 years ago in the basement of a Methodist church in Joy Illinois (but guys were there….so maybe that doesn’t count). 😉

    peace to you this week, MJ

    • “they don’t need $300 worth of pans painted red with a celebrity’s name embossed on it” = amen!
      I thought it was due to age in that a young bride or young to-be-mother might not know what’s practical … until we were invited to the 2nd wedding of some 40-something folks – and their list was equally offensive~!

      Like you, I still have some of the pyrex pans and measuring cups given to me by well meaning ladies/aunties in the United Church basement – and the hand mixer bought by my Grandmother – still use it, at least once a week. It’s that snazzy “harvest gold” color 🙂

      Men were never around our showers — they were probably in the field, I’m guessing! Sometimes one or two showed up at the end, to eat a dainty (cookie) and load up the gifts 🙂

      enjoyed your response, RR
      Peace to you as well,

  3. I’m with you. No, no, no. I will give you the gift I choose to gift you with. You can either “regift” or not. Once I give, I’m done with same!
    I get very few invitations to weddings or baby showers, thank you Lord.

  4. I know that there are loads of people out there who give the lavish gifts. In Japan, they give an envelope of money. So that’s what I do. People know we have money, so I can’t exactly be cheap and not give a gift. So I always give $100 to close friends and family members. I am always told that my gift was more valuable than anything else they got.

    Before my husband and I had money, I would always give towels. (Sometimes I found these new at garage sales)

    As for the old granny blankets…we got a few of them for our little babies and have always been the favorite thing to sleep with.

    People can just want stuff for all I care, but personally, you don’t have to give in. The culture tells the youth that is what they are supposed to want. Let the wise lead the youth and teach them with kindness about values and true happiness.

    • I agree, Clotilda — let the wise lead the youth — sometimes by the ear or nose 🙂

      You can’t go wrong with towels or a beautiful hand-made blanket !!


  5. I learned a lot from those simple baby showers. Yes, learned. I learned babies need crib sheets, handmade which you can never register for, short sleeved and long sleeved onesie’s, the classic The Real Mother Goose by Random House, another classic Pat the Bunny, and yes, babies grow so a supply of the next size diaper is a good idea. Recently, I went to a baby shower and brought my gift, crib sheets that weren’t on the registry although the furniture was. Here, here to the guests who “fill in the blanks.”

    • You read my mind, Georgette. I’m buying a few “stand by” books like “Runaway Bunny” and “Goodnight Moon” and coupling them with receiving blankets and a cute outfit. And I’m not going to the big stupid box store they’re registered at, either. I’m shopping locally and supporting a small retailer that struggles to make it in my neck of the woods 🙂

  6. shake downs they can be. I feel the same way about graduation invitations from people we barely know, or neighborhood “parties” selling scented candles, make up, books, gadgets, dinner invites to low pressure business “opportunities” etc. When I was much younger, I did get suckered into a couple of those “opportunities”, not a chance these days. I too like the gift card option if I’m feeling I have to give something..

    • Yeah the neighborhood parties can be fun or fun-suckers!!

      I even stopped doing gift cards b/c it became an errand for me to go get them! A check slides just nicely into the card 🙂

      Thanks for your thoughts, DM!

  7. I’ve never had children so I was stunned at the baby registry when I attended a baby shower last year. I wasn’t sure what some of the stuff was so I got a gift card from the same place and hoped it worked. As for weddings, it’s either a check or if it’s someone close, a few of us may go together for something expensive. I no longer worry about it. If in doubt, it’s money or a card. I am not above giving someone mixing bowls or pyrex either. It was good enough for me and lasted all these years.

    • We are on the same page; I should just stop looking at the registries b/c they only make me snarky. Generally speaking, we write a check and call it good. And you can’t go wrong with pyrex casserole dishes – have 3 of ’em and use them all!


  8. Agreed, agreed! I also create my own gifts (not necessarily homemade, but out of a variety of purchased items). And I love wrapping things up in useful items, like tea towels. I don’t even look at registries, I feel the same, it feels dirty to me.

    • Lovely ideas, Sandi! 🙂 I’m with you — give something thoughtful or money — but I just can’t buy into the $hakedown – ick!

  9. I totally agree. It seems like the general attitude with registries is, “It can’t hurt to ask!” The more common it becomes to request outrageous items, the more acceptable it seems to become. I say the unique, hand-made, filled-with-love kind of gifts are the best ones. They create lasting memories.

    • Couldn’t agree more, Terri. And here’s a tip for future brides — go small, you’ll get more. I’m more inclined to be generous with a bride or mom to be who only put together the registry b/c someone told her she had to so she filled it with practical low $$ items. 🙂


  10. I don’t like them either MJ. I think they rob you of the gift giver’s perceptions and unique point of view. When we got married, I received things I would have never even thought to ask for – an antique frame for instance.

    • Absolutely! When youngest boy was born, my then boss & his wife bought a sterling silver keepsake tooth fairy box – it was completely unique and precious – he still has it and he’s about to be 20 !!


  11. If I don’t see anything on the registry in my price range, I’ll get a gift card for that store, unless I have something better/personal in mind, as you suggested.

  12. So I’m not the only one who thinks most items on the gift registry are grossly over-priced? I recently saw a baby blanket for $150 on a gift registry–seriously? Sometimes I view the registry to get an idea of what’s needed/wanted, and then I go to a local department store (translation: Wal-Mart or Target) where I can buy almost identical items at half the cost–and the gifts always seem just as appreciated as their higher-priced counterparts.

    • Yep! That’s exactly what I did 🙂 I got some ideas then bought what was practical with one extravagant item thrown in for good measure…. sometimes I think the issue lies with young brides and first time mothers == us older ones have been through it and know what’s REALLY needed vs. just what’s wanted/cool.

  13. My thoughts are pretty much like your’s. Even worse now is the trend to give guests pre-printed thank you notes…which I think is the height of rudeness.

    • Yeah, pre printed mass-produced thank you notes are rude but getting one of those beats getting none at all — which is also often the case – ugh!!
      It must be our generation but I can still hear my mother’s voice in my head extolling the virtues of the thank you card!

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