On value, growth and being seen

So I’ve written a bit about a women’s workshop I was off to this weekend; it took place yesterday at a beautiful old inn on the other side of the state.  And to me, when you’ve not been to most places around you, part of the adventure is in the getting there.

A few weeks ago, as I knew he might, Hubbs pushed back on my attending.   Nothing serious, just in that way he does, a steady stream of questions about who-what-where-when-and why.  His Virgo-iffic nature of over-analyzing everything and thinking the worst kicked in (surely someone will kidnap me and I’ll end up dead).   No, seriously, that’s how he thinks sometimes.  Especially when it involves someone he loves.  Here’s the extent of the threats along my route:

amish mcdonalds

Anna sat in the carriage while Abe went inside. Me?  200% Safe!

I arrived at our destination, hugged my friend the Life Coach and met the other lovelies in attendance.  I ran into Sara again – someone I knew once years ago – and she with the happy curls and a smile that fills her face all the way up to her eyes – was absolutely delicious.

I think we were all nervous, I know I was, but soon we settled in and a relaxed camaraderie emerged.   As the workshop began we took turns listening.  Looking around I wondered if just having that moment wasn’t reward enough for being there.  Being heard is a powerful feeling.  Being seen is another.

One woman spoke to what we’ve all experienced ~ the cattiness of other women.. and her fears about attending: would we be any different?  Could we be trusted?   She spoke of her losses and her triumphs and how those experiences had prepared her to be exactly where she was right now … and we found ourselves nodding in agreement. Church was in session and I was in the front pew!

Some trembled when their turn to talk came around.  Bear in mind that many of us work in corporate roles where public speaking is part of what we do. Easy-peasy-pudding-and-pie.  But choosing to speak about deeply personal things can render the most accomplished woman speechless.  Some were at a crossroads – – marriages ending, careers stalled, children moving on.  Life stretching out ahead like one big highway but what now, what would it look like and just where to start?  I found myself listening to a sad-eyed woman who spoke haltingly of  her profession and the toll it was taking on her.  Quietly I shared background on Meyers-Briggs personality tests and our group encouraged her to not just look for a job change but for what will make her soul sing.  Her smile back to us was a gift.

Across from me sat Diane, a bubbly and energetic woman with very expressive hands – she patiently listened to everyone but when I asked her our table’s question: “what are you naturally good at” her eyes firmly met mine and she confidently said, “I’m very creative.”  When women speak their truth, have you ever noticed body language shifts and they lean into the answer? I l-o-v-e that.

I had several “aha’s” that come when your spirit is open and your soul is in a sacred space.  And on my drive back home, I smiled at the answer I had given Hubbs as I reassured him no one was going to kidnap me and I wasn’t going to die: I can die on the couch.  Life is meant to be lived and I’m going for it!


“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.” ― M. Scott Peck,  The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth


What’s the last thing you did just for you?  If you have to think about it … it’s time.




Categories: Determination, Faith, fear, Fun, Growth, Joy, Life, Personal, Quotes, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

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19 thoughts on “On value, growth and being seen

  1. Sounds great, MJ! And sweet that your hubby worries about you. Mine does, too, all while pushing me to do new things! LOVE that horse and buggy, but you probably knew I would!

    • I know — they worry because they care. It took me some time to understand his “language” of care/concern didn’t match mine. I get it now. As soon as I heard the clip clop clip clop of that buggy I had to snap a picture for you 😀 Have a wonderful day! MJ

  2. What a wonderful gift to yourself to get away. Glad you were 200% safe at your destination and 100% safe getting there.
    HS friend and I are taking a road trip next weekend to meet up with another hs friend in TX. Yes, it’s Memorial Day weekend but having been with family this weekend and going to be with them again the weekend after Memorial Day…can’t wait for a girls trip.

    • I am glad I didn’t cave and make it easy on everyone else (that I not go). I had a big belly laugh when the Yoders pulled up (Amish buggy) — I knew I had to capture a photo of my “danger” for poor nervous Hubby.

      Have fun on your big road trip – how exciting!! 🙂 MJ

  3. Good for you for engaging in the workshop! Sounds like it was an amazing event for you.

    I’ve been working with a life coach, and recently did an intensive therapy session (three days) that had components of personal counseling and components of couple therapy. Very rewarding. In July Rob and I are doing a program called and I hope to have an amazing experience there. I often think I’m old enough (54!) I should be through all this self-work by now. But no, turns out I had a lot to do, and this is my time to do it! Thanks for the inspiration as you share your journey too. My blog has been in pause mode for a while as I sort out life…almost ready to write again. ~ Sheila

    • I think we are never too old to learn and the the day we stop is the day we start to die — good for you guys for getting away for this week together. That right there shows commitment to your union and figuring out your next steps 🙂 ((Hugs to you Sheila!)) MJ

  4. My hubby is the same way. He was out of town this weekend, and Saturday I explored some new trails at our local state park.

    • It’s their way of showing they care ~ for my Hubbs lots of huffing and questions = OMG will you be ok and come back?

      Glad you had fun exploring some new sights! MJ

  5. I ask the same questions of Connie!! We love our ladies and the thought of losing them makes us venerable (which we HATE). So listen to “in between” the lines. He’s saying “I love and need you.” 😄

    All those ladies and NO pies, cakes or sweets being served?! 😉

    Glad that you enjoyed yourself

    • I know, and I knew you’d get it. When I was much younger (and stupider) I was put off by it – I understand it now!!

      We had a delicious lunch and some really good coffee + cheesecake – it was great fun 🙂 MJ

  6. M. Scott Peck was one of the first authors I was introduced to who taught me how to shift my perspective on life. He was an important teacher to me. I’m so glad your workshop was so powerful for the attendees. One of the last things I did for me was to go to a 4 day workshop (in late Feb). It was all about connecting our heads to our hearts and about listening to our heart for guidance. The amount of amazing unconditional love that everyone held for everyone else was off the charts. It was beyond special.

    • It was just what I needed – a little time away to think, to engage/connect, and to learn… ahh! Good for you for making time to get away for 4 days – that is wonderful, MJ

  7. Sounds delightful. I’m smiling as I’m just thinking about it


  8. You always captivate me with your observations on life, love and lessons. I’m thrilled you joined us and incredibly blessed to have your energy in the room! My Peck book is +20 years old, torn & tattered and on the mandatory read list for all! Looking forward to a Daring Circle in a town near you 😉

  9. I love this post because your experience with the Women’s Workshop is so similar to my recent involvement in a local knitting/crochet group. It’s like the old old days when ladies sat around doing needlework and sharing life experiences. I am thoroughly enjoying the conversations. So far I have only met with them in a knit shop, but they have Knit-ins at various other locations….. where I may after all, be kidnapped. 🙂

    • Your comments made me smile so much, Dor 🙂 Glad you are enjoying the conversations & camaraderie – I agree, that’s where it’s at.

      Does your husband have the kidnapping fear, too? (( I know he’s really just expressing his care & concern for me but the way he does it is funny))
      Cheers! MJ

  10. Pingback: Random Fall Friday | Emjayandthem's Blog

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