Monthly Archives: September 2015

A good day

Posted on September 30, 2015 by emjayandthem

We’ve all had times like that. Sometimes they run together.

One day recently the rat sauntered into my office like he owned the place, stinking up my aura with his 2-pack-a-day habit. Asking if I was busy (and not listening to my answer of yes, very), he took a seat before I could stop him. Not like it would have mattered. I bit my tongue as he prattled on about his life, his health, his adventures, his stresses, himself, him, him, and his other favorite topic, him. When he pushed me for information and updates, I diverted back to his favorite topic: him. Soon, he tired of my lack of involvement, and said with a pout, “Well I felt I owed you a visit.” My wax museum half-smile and a squinty-eyed look was the last he saw of me before slinking away to look for crumbs and colleagues.

Before that day and since co-workers have asked … “so … what have you heard from him?” And my answer is always the same. “Not much and that is just fine with me!”

See here’s the thing: the experience you have with someone is yours alone. Unfortunately some save their best for everyone else – and their snarky comments, nasty treatment and *ahem* b.s. is saved for you and you alone. I know this is someone who didn’t work .. but worked hard – overtime, really – at appearing fun-loving and well-connected. And if you spend any time at all – any – trying to convince others that the person they know as a certain way is otherwise, you’ll come off looking like a maniac. Trust me on this.

But I know the truth. And here’s the thing with me. Once I know who you are … really are … I’ll accept you. If I know your spirit is good, that you are kind and hard-working and do you best to be a good person, I’m in. 100%. To the contrary, it doesn’t matter how much veneer someone slaps on the wagon, I can recognize a Charlatan driving it from a mile away.

But hey, I didn’t bite, so in hindsight, it was a good day! 🙂

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Can you relate to this story? Who do you know is one way with you but another with everyone else? How did you cope with it? Were you able to excise yourself from the situation?

Categories: Determination, Faith, Growth, Life, Opinion, Personal, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Work | Tags: advice from kids, Charlatan, mean people, moving on, nasty people, not dealing with your drama, relationships, terrible bosses, the rat, unlwelcome people, you know it was a good day if you didn't bite or hit anyone | 16 Comments

Random Fall Friday

Posted on September 25, 2015 by emjayandthem

It’s Friday and it’s time for 5 random thoughts from my little corner of the world. Coffee up, let’s do this!

1 A project I’m working on led to me introducing myself to a lot of people I don’t know. Scrolling through names on a website, I recognized a name I know – my friend Diane, the beautiful lady with the expressive hands, whom I met at a workshop earlier this spring. We met once, instantly connected, and when I saw her name I couldn’t help but giggle just dialing her number. We caught up like pals do and she quickly shared some insights with me. Would have never happened had I not said YES to that workshop. Life’s funny like that, isn’t it?

2 Saw the cutest thing the other morning: pulling up behind the School bus, I waited patiently as all the little choppers got on board. One last little soldier remained, his Mom across the street holding baby sister, wrapped up in a blankie against the morning chill. Just before he boarded, he wrapped his arms around himself in a full body hug then threw his arms out wide like he was throwing Mom a big hug. And with that, he tromped happily up the stairs and onto the bus. I smiled all the way to my meetings!

3 Beautiful blogging friend Tobi, Momma to 2 little darlings, introduced me to “Stitch Fix” via her blog post “My First Stitch Fix” – and I thought it was so clever, I signed up, too. Stitch Fix is an online styling service: you create a profile on their site, with your sizes, style/color preferences, clothing types desired (work, date nights, weekends, party clothes) and schedule a shipment. $20 gets you 5 items to try – all picked by a stylist – and your $20 goes towards the cost of what you keep. My stylist listened to my many suggestions (smile) and I received a beautiful Teal green drapey kitten-soft cardigan for work, a classic cut silver/grey sweater for work or weekends (fits like a dream) and jeans that fit like they were sewn just for me. Two items I didn’t fall in love with are going back via FREE shipping so that’s no big deal. AND, you get $25 credit each time you refer a friend (hint, hint). Click here for more. 🙂

Items arrive with a style guide and suggestions on how to use each piece multiple ways!

Saying no to a shopping mall = saying YES to my sanity!

4 The Grands are spending the night tonight 🙂 Hubbs and me and Uncle will take them out for dinner and then some play time at home and cozy in for the night. Just thinking about their happy little faces – and a date night for our boy and his girl – makes me grin.

Monkeys at the movies; an Emjayandthem (C) photo

5 September! My favorite month ~ Dry air. Sunny days. Glorious Trees. Need I say anymore? Welcome Fall, I love you!

It won’t be long before my back yard looks like this! An Emjayandthem (C) photo

What new thing have you tried lately? How was it? Do you believe in coincidences or fate? What are you looking forward to this weekend? And are you as happy as me that Fall has arrived?

Categories: Fun, Life, Seasons, Self Discovery, Thoughts | Tags: because I'm worth it, grandkids, online styling service, shopping online, simple pleasures, staying away from shopping malls, Stitch Fix, stuff we worry about never happens anyways, women who hate shopping | 8 Comments

Flipping back

Posted on September 23, 2015 by emjayandthem

Click-Click-Click. That’s the sound my 70’s clock radio made, with the numbers that ‘rolled’ down from above. Do you remember?

Starry summer nights, a Canadian farm girl fine-tuning her radio to bring in American radio stations late, late at night. Straining to hear “those crazy accents” from faraway-to-me places. KFAB in Omaha, Nebraska, coming in clearly with a voice I’d learned to recognize: Sally-Jesse Raphael, long before she was on TV, hosting an advice/talk show. Lonely farmers, wives with money problems, young lovers separated by difficult circumstances. Our house was quiet and I found myself leaning in for their stories – carried through the air and across international borders – and wondering at the faces of the folks calling in.

Driving today, a song came on the radio, and it took me back to that time in my life.

“Hello? How are you?” right at :27. Haunting.

Singing along I looked down at all my “new” technology, Smartphone, GPS and MP3 player, and laughed. Then I cranked up the tunes and sang all the way to my meetings, remembering the summers of my youth, and a time when adventures could be as simple as imagining just who was on the other end of the line.

Do you remember the click-click-click of a clock radio? Did the numbers roll down or stay lit? What faraway radio stations were you able to tune in?

Categories: Fun, Life, music, Personal, Technology | Tags: '70s, call-in radio show, Canadian farm kid, clock radio, Electric Light Orchestra, ELO, KFAB, memories, Nebraska, Omaha, radio, radio talk show, Sally-Jesse Raphael, telephone line, tuning in faraway radio stations | 16 Comments

Random Five Fire Hose

Posted on September 18, 2015 by emjayandthem

Good morning, peeps! It’s Friday! (smile) What a week – here are a few random thoughts from mine.

1. I’ve had more meetings, trips and calls the past two weeks than any in recent memory. It’s like drinking from a fire hose, and I don’t see it slowing anytime soon.

2. On a couple of occasions recently I’ve been in new-to-me situations: in front of significant, large and somewhat scary audiences waiting to ~~pick me apart~~ hear what I have to say. Here’s the thing: I’m getting it. I’m hitting my stride and, as I do, I hear my Mom’s words in my head, “Growth never comes without growing pains.”

3. Speaking of Mom, her health is a little more stable but she’s not going home. She’s been moved to respite care which is kind of like a holding area until a bed opens up in long-term care. My sisters say she’s adjusting but it’s difficult for her because she’s very bright and many there have dementia. There are no personal phones there, and we’ve only been able to talk twice in a month. I miss her.

One of my favorite pictures of Mom & me… having a Killian’s in Branson, MO

4. Sunday I took the Grands to a movie and an afternoon of fun at the arcades. We saw the movie “Inside Out,” which was great, but was about a little girl moving and all the emotions that come with it … Well their Mom just moved away from them a few weeks ago and the subject matter might have been too much – but here’s the thing: it allowed them to talk about it. In the dark littlest one whispered that she’d never see her Mom again and, pushing aside the popcorn and the candies, I hugged and kissed and reassured her that yes she would and no matter where her Mom was, she would always be hers. Big brother leaned in and the two of them ended up pasted to/on me as the tears streamed down my face. As hard as it’s been being away from my own Mom while she’s been sick, this, this, is even harder. Why? This is unnecessary. How do you explain to a 6 and 10-year-old that some adults are selfish and aren’t likely to ever put them first? You can’t. You remind them of who is here for them and tell them again how much they’re loved and say what they most need to hear: that her leaving is not their fault.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” ~Deuteronomy 31:6

5. That’s been my week – up, down, all around. Tiring, taxing, emotional, challenging. But I’m still here. On a side note, I found this mixed in with the candles at the local housewares store — chance? Methinks not.

if it doesn't challenge you it won't change you

Amen to that!

And how was your week? Any up, downs and all-arounds in your world these days?

Categories: Faith, Family, fear, Grief, Growth, Life, Mom, Seasons, Self Discovery, Thoughts | Tags: abandonment, bad parents, children, Deuteronomy 31:6, dreamworks, drinking from a fire hose, elderly parents, emotions, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you, grandchildren, growth, growth never comes without growing pains, if it doesn't challenge you it won't change you, nursing home, people who shouldn't have kids, Pixar movie Inside Out | 17 Comments

Clan, Tribe, whatever, we need it

Posted on September 9, 2015 by emjayandthem

Thinking about a recent conversation with Hubbs, I’ve realized who my tribe is: those whom I can speak openly with. You know the ones: the friends/colleagues/family members who do for you what you’d do for them: accept you, ask your opinion because they want to know, listen, stick up for you, check in on you and cheer loudest when you grow. Those ones.

There’s been a lot going on of late, Mom’s health is a little more stable but she has been hospitalized for several weeks and we’ve had some very close calls where we thought, “this is it.” She came through that, thankfully, and now we’re starting to talk about next steps. She’s not strong enough to go home, at least not right now. And that’s a tough reality to face. On a positive note, she’s bright and “with it” and knows what’s up: she’s still got a say and that’s comforting to me.

Little ones are adjusting to their Mom moving away. They’re with their Dad now, our boy, full time. They’re adjusting but I know the whole household will have some challenges ahead. We help where we can .. but still, this Nana’s heart is with them always.

First day of school and Daddy did her hair. An Emjayandthem(C) photo

Our nephew was seriously injured in a fall, he’s healing and will be OK, and we thank God he’s young and healthy. It was the kind of accident that could have left him permanently injured or dead and just thinking about it makes us shudder.

Still, I look around, and while my tribe isn’t big, it’s good. It’s cozy and healthy. And when I’m with them – Hubbs, the boys, a few good friends, certain family members, and you, dear readers, I am reminded that the only answer most of us are looking for is the knowledge that we can live in our truth and eventually things will be just fine.

Who’s in your tribe? Are you able to let your tribe in when you’re struggling?

Categories: Determination, Faith, Family, Friendship, Grief, Growth, Personal, Quotes | Tags: clan, first day of school, friendship, Mom, network, speak your truth, the greatest advantage to speaking the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said, tribe | 14 Comments

Random 5 Friday – Restart, reset & carry on

Posted on September 4, 2015 by emjayandthem

It’s Friday! It’s Labor Day weekend! Time for 5 randoms from my week ~ here we go…

1) Summer should be issued a speeding ticket. I don’t know about you but our summer took it’s sweet time getting here but seems to be in a hurry to depart. We’ve had a few weeks of “nice,” a few weeks of cool, and this has been the hottest one yet. But … with the end of summer comes the arrival of my favorite season: Fall! Here’s to bright sunny skies, humidity under 400%, leaves turning color, all things pumpkin and the sights and smells only Autumn can bring – yeah!

isn’t Autumn glorious? an Emjayandthem (C) photo

2) Heard this song recently and I smiled and sang along, especially the part about “Summertime in Northern Michigan” – sing it, Kid.

3) Hubbs commented recently, “Do you realize you hardly ever talk about work any more?” My response, “No need. I’m rat-free!” Whee – and – bonus: my shoulders no longer touch my ears!

I do a lot of this!

4) A rainy day off and the house to myself — ooh, ahh. What started as a “100% chance of reading” kind of day quickly morphed into a “100% chance of working” day instead. A number of high priority requests came directly to me and responses are needed long before my Tuesday return. No worries, I cancelled my vacation time, brewed some more coffee, and carried on. I’ll wrap up soon and then the weekend can begin – whoop!

5) We had friends over last night to watch College Football and one dear lady brought her world-famous homemade veggie pizza – some of that was my breakfast today. Non traditional, yes, delicious, absolutely!

photo from Allrecipes.com

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” – Allen Saunders

** What song makes you think of summer? Ever had a day off hi-jacked? How did you handle it? How’s your Labor Day forecast looking? **

Categories: Attitude, Growth | Tags: All summer long, Autumn, carry-on, day off hijacked, Donkey, elimination of stressors, email, Fall, Kid Rock, life, music, no more rat, Random, reset, restart, songs that make you want to sing along, stress, Summer's end, Summertime, work, working on your day off, workplace | 16 Comments

Where the point lies

Posted on September 1, 2015 by emjayandthem

Searching for a particular picture last week, I noticed a pattern in my photos: horizon shots. Loads and loads of them. The sky, usually blue, the horizon, winding.

I could never live in the woods or the mountains – one word: claustrophobic. As a prairie girl, the horizon is grounding to me. Only see up? Not a chance. I need to see out.

Getting out of the city and rolling through hills, farms and fields … cathartic. So, when life piles up on me, I go. Tunes, coffee, road trip, gone.

Lake Diefenbaker, lake of my childhood

Deck view from Crosswinds in Whitehall, MI … ahh

Lake Huron .. from inside my car, way too cold to get out and stand!

Lake Huron .. from inside my car, way too cold to stand outside!

Stevie the dog and the road to home. An Emjayandthem (C) photo

Just had to stop here and take in the view, Pure Michigan

:: loved riding around with Dad on land like this :: And Emjayandthem (C) photo

Loved riding around with Dad on farm land like this. And Emjayandthem (C) photo

“Why does every road eventually narrow into a point at the horizon? Because that’s where the point lies.” ― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration