Random Five Fire Hose

Good morning, peeps! It’s Friday! (smile) What a week – here are a few random thoughts from mine.

1. I’ve had more meetings, trips and calls the past two weeks than any in recent memory.  It’s like drinking from a fire hose, and I don’t see it slowing anytime soon.


2.  On a couple of occasions recently I’ve been in new-to-me situations:  in front of significant, large and somewhat scary audiences waiting to pick me apart hear what I have to say.    Here’s the thing:  I’m getting it.  I’m hitting my stride and, as I do, I hear my Mom’s words in my head, “Growth never comes without growing pains.”

trying vs doing

3. Speaking of Mom, her health is a little more stable but she’s not going home.  She’s been moved to respite care which is kind of like a holding area until a bed opens up in long-term care.  My sisters say she’s adjusting but it’s difficult for her because she’s very bright and many there have dementia.  There are no personal phones there, and we’ve only been able to talk twice in a month.  I miss her.

One of my favorite pictures of Mom & me... having a Killian's in Branson, MO

One of my favorite pictures of Mom & me… having a Killian’s in Branson, MO

4. Sunday I took the Grands to a movie and an afternoon of fun at the arcades.  We saw the movie “Inside Out,” which was great, but was about a little girl moving and all the emotions that come with it … Well their Mom just moved away from them a few weeks ago and the subject matter might have been too much – but here’s the thing: it allowed them to talk about it.  In the dark littlest one whispered that she’d never see her Mom again and, pushing aside the popcorn and the candies,  I hugged and kissed and reassured her that yes she would and no matter where her Mom was, she would always be hers.  Big brother leaned in and the two of them ended up pasted to/on me as the tears streamed down my face.    As hard as it’s been being away from my own Mom while she’s been sick,  this, this, is even harder.  Why? This is unnecessary.    How do you explain to a 6 and 10-year-old that some adults are selfish and aren’t likely to ever put them first?  You can’t. You remind them of who is here for them and tell them again how much they’re loved and say what they most need to hear: that her leaving is not their fault.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” ~Deuteronomy 31:6

5.   That’s been my week – up, down, all around.  Tiring, taxing, emotional, challenging. But I’m still here.  On a side note, I found this mixed in with the candles at the local housewares store — chance?  Methinks not.

if it doesn't challenge you it won't change you

Amen to that!

And how was your week?  Any up, downs and all-arounds in your world these days?


Categories: Faith, Family, fear, Grief, Growth, Life, Mom, Seasons, Self Discovery, Thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

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17 thoughts on “Random Five Fire Hose

  1. Wow! Emotionally charged week but it sounds like it left you upbeat and smarter.

  2. You are strong and in charge and I know your grands will absorb that strength to move forward in their own lives. How lucky they are to have you for love and comfort, and as their example for finding the good things in life.

    • Thank you, Dor. The thing is, we’d all do it, and I can’t be there all the time, but when we are, we try to make it cozy and wonderful 🙂 MJ

  3. Oh, yes, quite an emotional week for you, MJ. How touching the story of you and your grands at the movies….. but I’m sure your are such a bright light in their lives right now, and their dad, of course. The two of you will make sure that they’re fine.

    • I came out of that movie looking like I’d been in the boxing ring .. and lost!! Their Dad and fiance are doing a good job, and Hubbs and I are taking the monkeys overnight this weekend, so that will be fun. It’s going to be OK in the long run, but there are moments that are just so raw one can’t help but feel them.

      I did get to chat with Mom on Saturday and that was wonderful 🙂 MJ

  4. I love that picture of you and your mom too! My week..well, we started a new project, and just finished installing the deck on the first floor and had it covered with a tarp 10 minutes before it let loose (rain). Got home early today, am catching up on blog posts, etc. and then I think I am going to take a well deserved mid afternoon nap. DM

  5. #3 is breaking my heart and of course your “movie” experience got me too. Life isn’t all rainbows and unicorns is it. Ugh. You seem to handle things so well MJ, your mama must’ve been a heck of a role model. Happy Friday/Happy Weekend to you.

  6. It sounds like you are in demand, on so many playing fields. Your mom is a wise woman, and that’s been distilled into her children. It must be so hard for the kids, I’m glad they have someone (you) rooted and grounded to guide them gently along the way. I’ve been “all around” this week.

    • It’s exhausting, to be truthful, and last weekend I slept in both days – it was just what the Doc ordered. We stayed home, cozied in, and relaxed. Off to the races now – thank you for your kind words 🙂 MJ

  7. Shirley Matthews Dunn

    Your grandchildren know they are loved by you and their father. Just hold them tight every chance you get. Sometimes people cause growing pains to be harder than they should be . They are blessed to have you all. Hope things for you slow down a little and glad your Mother is some better.

    • Thank you, yes they do know that, and they will be OK because of it. Mom is stable but not strong enough to go home; we’re hoping for a more permanent resolution soon. Bests, MJ

  8. Sounds like you are hanging on to a roller coaster. Wow. Take care friend. Sending you good thoughts.

    • by a fingernail Renee!! 🙂 We all go through those times but lately they’ve come at me at once … Thank you for your kindness as always, MJ

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