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A good day

kid quotes

We’ve all had times like that.  Sometimes they run together.

One day recently the rat  sauntered into my office like he owned the place, stinking up my aura with his 2-pack-a-day habit.  Asking if I was busy (and not listening to my answer of yes, very), he took a seat before I could stop him. Not like it would have mattered. I bit my tongue as he prattled on about his life, his health, his adventures, his stresses, himself, him, him, and his other favorite topic, him.   When he pushed me for information and updates, I diverted back to his favorite topic: him.   Soon, he tired of my lack of involvement, and said with a pout, “Well I felt I owed you a visit.”   My wax museum half-smile and a squinty-eyed look was the last he saw of me before slinking away to look for crumbs and colleagues.

Before that day and since co-workers have asked … “so … what have you heard from him?”  And my answer is always the same. “Not much and that is just fine with me!”

See here’s the thing: the experience you have with someone is yours alone.  Unfortunately some save their best for everyone else – and their snarky comments, nasty treatment and *ahem* b.s. is saved for you and you alone. I know this is someone who didn’t work .. but worked hard – overtime, really  – at appearing fun-loving and well-connected.  And if you spend any time at all – any – trying to convince others that the person they know as a certain way is otherwise, you’ll come off looking like a maniac. Trust me on this.

But I know the truth.  And here’s the thing with me.  Once I know who you are … really are … I’ll accept you. If I know your spirit is good, that you are kind and hard-working and do you best to be a good person, I’m in.  100%.  To the contrary, it doesn’t matter how much veneer someone slaps on the wagon, I can recognize a Charlatan driving it from a mile away.

But hey, I didn’t bite, so in hindsight,  it was a good day!  🙂

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Can you relate to this story? Who do you know is one way with you but another with everyone else? How did you cope with it? Were you able to excise yourself from the situation?

 

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Categories: Determination, Faith, Growth, Life, Opinion, Personal, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Work | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

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16 thoughts on “A good day

  1. Oh, I know someone who has the narcissistic personality – 150%. And I’ve never really known anyone like that before. It’s amazing: her photo should be beside the description in the dictionary. Oh, and “prattle” is a word that fits her to a T. Sadly. she’s family, and I just have to endure….

    • I’m sorry you have to endure a family member like that — that’s really tough b/c there’s no easy “out!” Ugh!! MJ

  2. Oh yeah. I had a very abusive boss that our superiors loved. Some of the other employees knew the truth. I was assured by my friends that if I took my case to HR my co-workers would stand beside me. So I took the plunge, and my co-workers were too afraid to come forward after all. I can’t really blame them for deserting me – they had families and responsibilities and just couldn’t do it. So I was alone in my claim of abuse. HR told me that I had an “emotional problem” and I should get counseling. I gave in and went to counseling. The counselor said I was suffering from workplace abuse. No kidding. I took that diagnosis back to HR and they still did not believe me. A year after I left the job, that boss was asked to resign. Too late for me. But I was free. I don’t think I could have waited her out the year. It might very well have killed me.

    • Yep. Everything you said and more; I was “this” close to transferring elsewhere.
      I’m glad I am not alone in this story but kinda wish I was; there are a lot of bad actors out there!!
      MJ

  3. Love it! This guy must be a real winner! There is almost no personality worse than what you describe, someone who believes their own BS! Good for you that you resisted giving him what he deserved! You have the brains and the beauty! ~ Sheila

    • I shouldn’t have to endure any more of him but he was canned left from another office so my office mates didn’t know about it (there was no announcement, what does that tell you?) and he was able to slink in undetected.

      Once a sheister, always a sheister!

      Thank you for your kind words, Sheila – MJ

  4. Diane Helminiak

    I had a dictator for a boss. Someone who had no experience who was promoted to VP for no reason we could see. The company was sold and we were free because she left with it. Luckily for me I landed at another company that was perfect for me. Everyone at the other job would feel sick when we heard her footsteps down the hall or ended up crying if we were called to her office. God watched out for me and gave me this new opportunity. Didn’t this “rat” leave, Marilyn?

    • I am so glad you found your way out of that mess and that she left with the other company. Looking back I had an awful lot of sickness and stress; I don’t get that feeling anymore with him, I just feel rage. All encompassing rage.

      He left the company, but he was pushed out “retired” and from another location — despite his years of service there was no party, no farewell, no announcement. Nada. So the ppl in my little office didn’t know any of this and they allowed him in; they’ve since been schooled by me that he is not allowed in the building.

      He’ll be a rat till the day he dies, of that I’m sure.

      Thank you for your kind words of support — I appreciate it and, like you, I feel God watched out for me and led me to where I am today 😀 MJ

  5. When I worked in HR there was a handyman worker who could schmooze his boss no matter who the boss was. I could see through the crap. It took our security getting shots of him punching in and leaving for four hours and then returning to convince his supervisor that he was sloughing off. Problem was all the other employees saw it and didn’t understand how he got away with it. He did incredible things like fix his own car in the company garage; have rendezvous with his girlfriend there and other activities that the boss would not believe. His willingness to work overtime when there was a problem overrode all the other violations in his manager’s eyes. Finally we got a “normal” worker and the boss understood the problem. You are right. When someone has an opinion of someone that is positive, it’s hard to get them to adjust it even with proof.

    • That is a lot of nerve your Handyman had – wowza!

      This guy was famous for ordering $50 Scotch and T-Bone steaks on the company but never contributing to a potluck. Cheap as the day is long. Rewarded and promoted men over women (the pay delta between me and a man in the exact same job was staggering). He lied, cheated, schemed and back-stabbed.

      Seeing the Karma bus back over him has been one of the most gratifying moments in my life – and while most weren’t around him enough to know what a snake he was, I endured his b.s. for years. Eventually he’ll be gone .. forever .. but right now he’s like gum on the bottom of the shoe.

      Cheers! MJ

  6. Ugh! I thought you didn’t have to deal with him anymore. What a piece of work.

  7. Pingback: Navigating perpetual rats | Emjayandthem's Blog

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