I came back to work to an ignored box of Clementine oranges on the lunch-room table; shortly thereafter the January potluck sign-up sheet was up and I chuckled, “There go the resolutions.”
You see, at my office, if a food item contains any of these four ingredients: Cheese, Chocolate, Cool-Whip or Barbecue – it’s gone. Demolished. So while someone very kindly thought to share the lovely little oranges, they met a sad, rotting fate with my crew.
I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions other than mulling over an epiphany that happened several weeks prior: stop waiting. You see I was thinking that (soon) things would slow down (they won’t). Soon I’d have time (no more than the 24 hours we all get every day). Soon things would ease (not likely). So quietly and calmly, just before Christmas, I made a decision and it was this: do one thing – just one – act of kindness every day – for myself. It wasn’t made in a manic, frantic racing around moment. It was a quiet and gentle urging: you deserve care, too.
And so I did.
The Holidays were super-fun, we had the monkeys (grands) for several sleepovers and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and them. But we also snorted how glad we were that we had our boys when we were much younger. Those kids are busy, with questions and concerns, and interests and things to say. Love them.
I took naps. I read. I dropped out of contact for 24+ hours. I spent time with Hubbs and time without him. I went out with friends, talked on the phone and slept in. I ate when I was hungry, and didn’t when I wasn’t. I listened.
It. Was. Glorious.
Before I went back to work, I spent Sunday cooking — a roast beef dinner for hubbs, roasted vegetables, salads and chicken for me. I packed my lunch, went to bed early, and left the office for home before dark. And when I left, I turned off my cell phone.
These all seem like very basic things but I am here to tell you they’re not, at least for me. Disconnecting at the end of the day has allowed me to lean into my evenings. Tuesday, I repeated what I’d done on Monday. Planning the same for today – revolutionary!
Simple. Profound. And why didn’t I do it sooner?
At 52, I guess I ‘m still learning that I want the best of me, not just the rest of me.
Can you relate to this? Are you capable of giving yourself love and affection, too? What lesson has taken you years to learn?