Forgiveness

Pearls, pigs and passages

Posted on September 9, 2018 by emjayandthem

From my earliest memories, our Grandmother Pearl wore pearls -pearl necklaces, drop and button earrings, bracelets and brooches. Some were real and others were fake, bought from the Avon Lady or the Sears catalogue. Mom and Aunt Irene also had a “set” that they each broke out for fancy occasions, like weddings, showers or baptisms. I’m sure they were influenced by First Lady Jackie Kennedy’s famous pearl style and later when First Lady Barbara Bush brought them back again.

Pic taken in 1923 ~ ❤️ Grandmother Pearl was 19. An Emjayandthem (C) Photo

I’ve had these pearls since the 90s ~ classic, they never go out of favor. an Emjayandthem(c) photo

I have always loved pearls. I love their softness, strength and imperfections; I love their luster, warmth, and radiance, too.

A few days ago I read this passage and was reminded how important it is to “learn to discern” – to learn we don’t have to intervene in other’s life lessons, even when you can see the train coming from afar. As hard as it is, it’s true that stepping in can only delay the learning for another. And doing so may make future lessons more difficult.

Some lessons are meant to be learned the hard way.

Matthew 7:6 “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”

Do you relate to this passage?
- What lessons have you learned the hard way?
- And how hard is it for you to “learn to discern?”

Categories: Animals, Beauty, Faith, Family, Fashion, Forgiveness, Growth, Joy, Life, Life Lessons, Mom, Personal, Relationships, Thoughts | Tags: Avon, Barbara Bush, classics, do not give dogs what is sacred, do not throw your pearls to pigs, Jackie Kennedy, learn to discern, lessons learned the hard way, letting others learn their own lesson, life lessons, Matthew 7:6, Mom, pearls, pigs, Sears catalogue, what I know now, wisdom, women | 2 Comments

Treasure in the sacred place

Posted on March 31, 2018 by emjayandthem

As a girl, I found it hard to reconcile the suffering of Good Friday with the chocolate abundance of Easter Sunday. We worked through our Sunday school lessons, asking questions and falling quiet when we realized all He endured for us. That everything could somehow be better by Sunday, dressed in tights and Mary Jane’s, eating Ham dinner and hot cross buns, was lost on me. That feeling continues as an adult.

Have you ever noticed the darkness that falls between noon and 4pm on Good Friday? It happened here yesterday.

“We focus on Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday, but we forget to pause in the stillness of the days between.

Find time today to be present in that place of waiting.

There is treasure to be found in the sacred peace that comes as you breathe in that place of quiet surrender.

Don’t rush through the space called “Between.” ―Katherine J. Walden

* Happy Easter to all who celebrate *

Categories: Attitude, Blogging, Faith, Family, Forgiveness, Grief, Holidays, Life, Mom, Thoughts | Tags: Easter, Easter Sunday, Good Friday, Holy Day, Jesus, Katherine J. Walden, sacrifice, suffering, the crucifiction, the formula, the resurrection, treasure in the sacred space | Leave a comment

Life sets us a challenge

Posted on March 11, 2018 by emjayandthem

I stood in the doorway, surveying the mess: about to sort and pack years of records in 24 hours. My first reaction was shock. Overwhelmed at the task before me, the next reaction was anger. And finally, standing at the crux of the chaos, I felt sadness for what could have been.

Backstory: an employee left so it was my job to sort through the ashes. Literally. Through the piles. The stacks. The dust. The dead flies and the mouse droppings. ** Cough Cough **. Out-dated phone books, notes, scraps of paper, stacks in corners, corners unseen. ** Cough Cough ** A rhythm developed ~ assemble box & lid, open drawer, breathe, lean in and go. ** Cough Cough ** The back of my hair, damp with sweat, black dress slacks brown with dust and debris. Shaking my head at the “no jeans” policy ~ laughing because this was Hazmat worthy.

Sorting, stacking, cleaning, organizing: Nearly 40 boxes to be shred, garbage cans overflowing and 7 – count ’em 7 – boxes to be moved /re-filed. A sore back and stiff neck that linger still.

Asked how this could be done so rapidly my answer: “determination fueled by disbelief.”

I’ve recently made some self- care choices that, on the surface, appear inconsequential: I got a personal cell phone. Next I exported all (18 -ha!) personal contacts from the work phone and moved them to mine. Then I deleted those same numbers and any personal apps, too. Why? This week reinforced something sobering ~ we are all replaceable.

It’s an adjustment to turn off the work phone Friday evening and not look at it again until Monday. I’m working through it. Now, it’s the personal phone that accompanies me to the grocery store or out on a date night with hubbs. And I like that, when checked, there are 2 messages instead of 60. The breathless 60 can wait.

Yes, it’s a small step that’s netting me peace of mind and the separation/boundaries I’ve been craving.

Life does not look back. Life looks ahead ~ and leaps.

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym

What self-care steps have you taken lately?

Categories: Attitude, Determination, Faith, Forgiveness, Growth, Life, Life Lessons, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Thoughts, Women, Work | Tags: boundaries, change, cleaning out, dirt, dust, employees, just do it, life does not look back, office, organization, Paulo Coelho, records, self-care, separation, take care of yourself, the challenge will not wait, The Devil and Miss Prym, work, you're killing yourself for a job that would replace you within a week if you dropped dead | 10 Comments

Positive obsessions

Posted on March 12, 2017 by emjayandthem

for more, click on A test in self-worth

Categories: Attitude, Beauty, Confidence at any age, Faith, fear, Forgiveness, Friendship, Growth, Joy, Life, Mom, Quotes | Tags: a test in self-worth, body-image, kindness, obsess about what you love about yourself, Self-acceptance, self-worth | 6 Comments

Random 5 January Friday

Posted on January 13, 2017 by emjayandthem

It’s Friday! Time for 5 Random brand-new-year thoughts!

1) Our January weather has been weird. -temps then + temps. Blizzards then thunderstorms. Lake effect snow then freezing rain then black ice then … warm weather and sunshine. I think Mother Nature is in menopause!

I can relate to Mother Nature!

2) Nearly every ad on TV of late is about weight loss – How Marie lost 50lbs on Nuke-your-System!! Oprah and her cookbook and her love of bread! There’s even a new prescription out (can’t recall the name) that promises to accelerate weight loss – the disclaimer states that it “may cause seizures, greasy bowels, rapid heart rate and other side effects.” Nice! Who wants to be slimmer but with greasy bowels and seizures? Yikes! I’ve been (largely) grain free since January 2016 and guess what – not only did I lose weight – I. Am. NEVER. Sick. In 2014 I had bronchitis 5 times; 2015 – 3 times. 2016? None. Zip. Nada. **As inflammation recedes the immune system can heal**. Also-my skin healed, joints don’t ache any more and did I mention I am never sick – despite heavy travel, copious amounts of work stress, public interaction, and being around co-workers with colds & the flu. I’ve lost 20 lbs and 16″. YES to no more Claritin, Mucinex, Tylenol Sinus, Neti Pot or inhaler needed! You don’t have to spend a bunch of money eating fake food or chugging down pills – you really can heal from the inside out. For more visit Cardiologist Dr. William Davis’ site, www.wheatbellyblog.com.

1 year Grain Free ~ An Emjayandthem (C) photo

3) Do you ever forget certain chores? I forget to vacuum. I don’t dislike it, I just forget about it – oops. What chore do you forget on a regular basis?

4) Saw this on FB and laughed out loud. Snaccident. I have never tried Nutella but I could hurt myself with Guacamole!

5) And with that … I’m off to get more coffee! Happy Friday, peeps!

What weight loss ad have you seen recently? Forget any chores of late? (Or on purpose? 🙂 ) Have you ever had a snaccident?

Categories: Attitude, Beauty, Family, Food, Forgiveness, Growth, Life, Personal, Recipes, Self Discovery, Thoughts | Tags: 10 day grain detox, chores, Claritin, coffee, diets, Dr. William Davis, grain-free, Inhaler, menopause, Mother Nature, Mucinex, Neti Pot, new year, Nutrisystem, random 5 Friday, snaccident, Tylenol Cold & flu, Weight Watchers, Wheat Belly, winter weather | 2 Comments

The road to 2017

Posted on December 27, 2016 by emjayandthem

The days between Christmas and New Years afford us an opportunity to reflect and address the state of our union. To take stock of our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual happiness.

As we look back and ahead we pause to ask:

What was my biggest lesson?

What do I want to learn next?

What do I want more of? Less of?

What makes me happy? Sad?

What do I want to experience?

What do I want to feel?

What/who do I need to forgive?

What do I need to let go?

What do I want to do? What am I willing to do?

What holds me back? Is it true?

What will your 2017 headline say?

As you look to the new year, will you celebrate your accomplishments and forgive your blunders? What excites you about 2017?

*Story idea: Frankie Perez’s MindGym

Categories: Attitude, Blogging, Confidence at any age, Determination, Faith, Forgiveness, Friendship, Gratitude, Growth, Holidays, Life, News, Opinion, Personal, Relationships, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Wisdom, Women, Work, Writing | Tags: changes, days between Christmas and New Years, experiences, feelings, forgiveness, growth, joy, lessons learned along the way, life lessons, mistakes, opportunities, opportunity, reflections on 2016, starting a new chapter, what was my biggest lesson | 7 Comments

5 Verses, 1 message

Posted on December 24, 2016 by emjayandthem

Luke 2:1-3

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2 (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 And everyone went to their own town to register.

Luke 2:4-7

4 So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 5 He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. 6 While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a Son. She wrapped Him in cloths and placed Him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

Luke 2:8-12

8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Luke 2:13-15

13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

15 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

Luke 2:16-20

16 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17 When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. 20 The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

Message:

Google.Images.com

Merry Christmas!

Source: http://Guidepost.org

Categories: Faith, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Growth, Joy, Life, Love, News, Personal, Quotes | Tags: And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, baby lying in a manger, Bethlehem, Caesar Augustus, census, Chrrist the Lord, Do not be afraid for I bring you tidings of great joy, For unto us is born a Savior that is Christ the Lord, Glory to God in the highest, I came for you, Jesus Christ, keeping watch over their flocks at night, Luke 2:1-3, Luke 2:13-15, Luke 2:16-20, Luke 2:4-7, Luke 2:8-12, Mary and Joseph, real meaning of Christmas | 10 Comments

Being thankful for doors that closed

Posted on June 16, 2015 by emjayandthem

When I look back at some of my career opportunities (and those that weren’t) I’ve learned to be grateful for closed doors.

Encouraging someone recently, I offered this, “You have to believe that you deserve a good life. A happy, meaningful and beautiful life. Every time the door closes is a test of faith; sometimes you won’t know till years later what was on the other side. You just have to believe that He knows the plan for you and trust that it’s good.” Tears filled my eyes as I said what I did and – truth be told – these words weren’t mine, someone gave me this message to share and I did.

We have all had times when the door closed — moments that, looking back, weren’t for you in the first place. Dead-end jobs. Bad people. Relationships that suck the life out of you.

Like the faithful being led out of bondage, a shut door can be a metaphor for the closing of the Red Sea. No more chains on us!

When this happens, yes sometimes I stare at the lock for a while. Other times I see things for what they are and give a prayer of gratitude for the people who rejected me, the superior who discounts me, the friend who slights me. That’s when I dig my heels in and move forward anyways. And I always find that, had I remained where I was, I would have missed where I am.

Every time He shuts a door, there is something better coming. I’m sure of it.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

What closed doors are you grateful for?

Categories: Attitude, Determination, Faith, Family, fear, Forgiveness, Growth, Life, Life Lessons, Personal, Quotes, Relationships, Self Discovery, Uncategorized, Wisdom, Writing | Tags: chains of bondage, closed doors, encouragement, faith, Jeremiah 29:11, journey, Red Sea, seeing past life's obstacles, tests | 26 Comments

On saying Yes

Posted on May 13, 2015 by emjayandthem

I’ve been thinking a lot about a workshop coming up this weekend — a women’s retreat, so-to-speak, and time away to be with like-minded individuals in a supportive, creative environment.

Thinking about the questions posed to us ahead of time (loosely translated): 1) what’s the greatest risk you ever took and how did it turn out? 2) How do you define passion? and 3) What’s your big “Super Hero” dream – i.e. what does “next” look like?

google.images.com

The first two were easy to answer: 1) moving to another country with $178 and a guitar .. and here I am, a successful citizen. 2) It’s all that I am and what I can’t ever leave behind – it’s me doing the right thing regardless if anyone’s around to witness it – it’s music and love, family and relationships, hard work, silliness and stability. But #3. 3 has me thinking .. a lot.

On the treadmill last night, I had an epiphany (treadmill walking will do that to you … you can’t do much else, at least I can’t.) I can’t read or watch TV, pretty sure I’d fall off, but I digress.

I thought about how I gave oldest boy some of my sage advice last week on the power of saying “no.” And, a direct quote was, “No. It’s a sentence.” He used it and, by golly, it worked and here we are.

And I realized, at a 3.4 mph speed, that the past 5 years I’ve worked hard at saying no. No without guilt. No without noise. One word: “No.”

Saying no has opened up room for “Yes.” And I’ve done a little of that … but last night I realized I already had my answer to #3 above.

I’m saying “Yes.”

Yes to adventures and events, to meeting new people who inspire and get me, yes to delight and wonder and learning and growth. Yes to noise and yes to quiet. Yes to order and yes to messy. Yes to love and comfort, joy and happiness.

I’m saying Yes.

“Say yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards.” -Tina Fey

What do you really want to say yes to? Have you made room for it in your life?

Categories: Attitude, Beauty, Blogging, Confidence at any age, Determination, Faith, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, Fun, Home, music, Personal, Self Discovery | Tags: epiphany, growth, Happiness, joy, love, on saying yes to live, Tina Fey, treadmill walking, women's retreat, workshop | 30 Comments

Random 5 Friday ~ Spring at last!

Posted on May 1, 2015 by emjayandthem

Spring appears to be here to stay finally (yay!) and my yard is calling me. With that, here are my Random 5 from this week:

1. This year, I solemnly swear, to not get overly ambitious in the garden section and to not plant annuals that I’ll only grow weary of watering come August. Amen. But first, I have a date with the 10 Trillion weeds growing happily outside!

24763462-home-improvement-store-garden-section

I promise to stop when one cart is full! Google.images.com

2. At the family brunch/lunch on Sunday, cousin Jerry shyly gifted me with a sample of his home-made maple cream. Imagine fresh maple syrup whipped into cream. Imagine a small dollop of it in your morning oatmeal. Imagine the smile your face :). Yes, it’s that good.

Yep. Google.images.com

3. Read a fascinating article about forgiveness. One section resonated so loudly with me I felt my ears ringing as I read it: The people you can’t forgive give you a gift you do not want. The author explained that the people you won’t forgive give your ego a feeling of control over the relationship but then (here’s the kick, you ready?) you’re burdened with the anger and sadness that comes with carrying that. Ouch and yes, so true. To read the full article click here.

With some, it’s easy. With others, it’s a daily struggle. Google.images.com

4. I love popcorn. Love it. You could cover an entire table in candy and chocolates and I’d walk right past them all and stop at the popcorn. I have talked myself out going to the movies when I realized I was only going for the popcorn!

Yes! Google.images.com

5. Yesterday I took a road trip to points north. As I often do, I used the lunch break to listen to voice mails left on my office phone while away. Not sure what happened but somehow I must have pressed the option that speeds up delivery of the voice mail message. Now, everyone sounds like a chipmunk. Yes, it’s difficult to get the phone # or understand the message but, I have to admit, replaying a message from a State official who now sounds like “Alvin,” cracked me up! 🙂

Did you call me? Google.images.com

What are in your Random 5 for this week? Do you have to limit yourself in the Garden section, too? Who do you struggle to forgive? Do you love sweets or salty snacks? Ever messed up your voice mail system or other technology?

Categories: Attitude, Family, Food, Forgiveness, Growth, Home, Life, Opinion, Rants, Relationships, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Women, Work | Tags: Chipmunk, Franciscan Friar Richard Rohr, gardening, how to forgive, maple cream, popcorn, technology, the people you can't forgive, voice mail, weeds | 10 Comments

Random Five Friday – June

Posted on June 6, 2014 by emjayandthem

It’s Friday! (whoo hoo) It’s Random! Let’s go!

1. Tuesday I waited around all day for an appointment that got pushed back four times. By the time the two young men arrived to work on the pool, I had conceded the day. They were overbooked, stressed yet polite, apologizing over and over and I just didn’t have it in me to pile a layer of anger onto their day. Hanging around, being at home yet attentive to work, made me feel a bit like this turtle.

google.images.com

2. Later that night I attended our grandson’s baseball game. I’ve been sick and so this was the first game we were able to get to — chatting with some of the moms, I could sense they were trying to figure out who I belonged to. I pointed to the tall fellow in the bullpen and said, “Well that’s my boy.” I saw the confusion when they realized none of the wee ones on the team were mine but I was claiming the man. Then I explained that #2 at bat was our Grandson — ahh — funny — and a reminder that even though he’s grown, oldest one remains a boy in a Mother’s heart.

What the Father did, the son does: oldest boy herding the cats at baseball. An Emjayandthem(C) photo

3. Weather. A cool front came through Monday and we’ve had the most luscious weather possible — mild, sunny, and low humidity. Days like these feel like a reward for the endurance test of this past winter.

Amen! google images

4. The Belmont Stakes race is tomorrow and a group of us are planning to watch it together. Reading the Racing Form takes me back to my childhood, being at the track with my parents, and feeling the excitement and the grandeur of it all. Hoping California Chrome can pull a Triple Crown win — but even if he doesn’t — what a story!

Hello ladies! Aren't I something? Source: www.dailyrepublic.com

Hello ladies! Aren’t I something?
Source: http://www.dailyrepublic.com

5. In a world of e-invites and virtual everything, I really love getting a hand-written thank you card. First of all, it’s polite and second, it’s timeless. When someone acknowledges a gesture of mine, it makes me want to repeat the gesture all over again! And I always say a silent prayer of thanks to the Mom who taught the importance of doing so.

What’s your random 5 for today? Are you watching horse racing tomorrow?