Three and a half years ago I signed up for a women’s workshop across the state. Intuitively I was hoping for a positive experience and, looking back , I still am reaping the benefits.
Yes! Google.images.com
A two-hour drive there and back gave me time to prepare – and – time to reflect on all I’d learned.
I remember my nervous stomach lurching as I entered the Inn. Soon my worries fell away as the facilitator wrapped me in a warm embrace. Before long I was chatting with others and shyly stepping forward to share experiences.
One woman spoke to what we’ve all endured ~ the cattiness of other women.. and her fears about attending: would we be any different? Could we be trusted? She spoke of her losses and her triumphs and how those experiences had prepared her to be exactly where she was right now … and we found ourselves nodding in agreement. Church was in session and I was in the front pew!
Across from me sat Diane, a bubbly and energetic woman with very expressive hands – she patiently listened to everyone but when I asked her our table’s question: “what are you naturally good at” her eyes firmly met mine and she confidently said, “I’m very creative.” When women speak their truth, have you ever noticed body language shifts and they lean into the answer? I l-o-v-e that.
Well, flash forward a few years and today, a work event scheduled for tomorrow means I need to travel across the state today – to the same general area where the workshop was held.
We’ll hug and laugh and share our stories, updates and dreams and, for just a little while, we’ll savor being in the sacred space where friendship lives. And it very well may be accompanied by some chocolate.
“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” ― Linda Grayson
It’s Friday, the last Friday of October (what??) so it’s probably time for 5 randoms from my world.
1) Recently my job took me to Charlotte, N.C.; before my conference began I made time to visit the Billy Graham Library– the library sits on beautiful grounds. I found the opportunity to review his life’s work inspiring. When a volunteer offered to pray for me at the end of the tour I felt myself overcome with emotion ~ while the conference was eventful, that visit, and her prayers, were life-affirming.
“I have never known a man who received Christ and ever regretted it.” – Billy Graham
2 ) Last Tuesday I turned on the out-of-office messages, walked away and managed to stay offline for over a week. It helped that I was visiting on family farms with 1 cell bar and limited broadband. Disconnecting so as to reconnect … ahh.
3 ) The November Primary is fast approaching ~ between Robocalls, political ads and door stuffers, we’re bombarded with information. Last night, the phone rang as the doorbell chimed ~ I answered the door to find two young and cheerful volunteers stumping for a Congressional candidate. Neither could answer my questions about the candidate’s position on various issues but the handout they gave me was a glossy full-color job. Maybe it’s me but if I were knocking on doors for someone I’d make sure I knew what they stood for.
Stand your ground; it’s sacred.
4 ) On vacation I went to bed late, got up early, walked a lot, talked more and enjoyed some pie. No regrets.
“Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.” ― David Mamet
5 ) Visiting my childhood home again something jumped out at me: the moon. That big Harvest Moon. And not just the brightness but the nearness of it.
Taken in the valley south of North Battleford, Saskatchewan. Photo by Jeff Wizniak
Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon and the truth. -Buddha
* * * * * * * * *
I’m on vacation still and was wide awake at 5:30 this morning ~ Coffee up!
I remember being surprised at being invited to that executive’s retirement party given we’d hardly interacted. I was around 27 and, looking back, a bit naive.
The night of the party, one of the (ancient) executive’s pals, in his toast to the retiree, joked about inviting “pretty girls like __(me)__ so we all have something nice to look at.” Their wives looked horrified and sad, most men chuckled, and I can still feel the rage at being reduced to “something.”
I know and have loved many wonderful men – decent, kind and gentle men. I’m fortunate I can easily rattle off a long list including Grandfathers, Great Uncles, Dad and his brothers, my husband and our sons. But I also have known – and had to work with – creeps. And, in my experience, the creeps spoil the well for the good men.
Now, as a Grandmother, my Spidey senses are on FIRE whenever I’m out with our grandkids – both grandSON and grandDAUGHTER — I watch them like a hawk even though they aren’t “babies” any more. I’m hyper-aware of everyone around us; if one asks to go off to another aisle to “see just one thing” we all go; it’s not up for discussion.
I’ve talked with the grands about good people and bad people, about trusting their instincts,and if someone makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe to tell any of us, and that they will never be in trouble for doing so. I worry about Social Media and creepy perverts who lurk in shadows everywhere. But, as many of us know, creepy perverts were in our churches, schools, and communities long before Facebook or SnapChat ever existed.
I made a quick list of how experiences with creepy men has impacted how I live; the list wrote itself in minutes.
I never walk, shop for groceries or stop for gas in the dark.
I prefer to exercise in the house vs. in the neighborhood.
I wear a cross body purse, always and my cell phone remains charged and accessible, even at home.
I check the back seat of any vehicle before getting in, anywhere and in every light.
I rarely venture away from the hotel when traveling for business ~ Company (male) colleagues like to walk to restaurants for group events (because they never have to think about lists likethis!). I prefer to take a taxi but will walk in a larger (mixed) group.
All windows and doors are locked ~ if I find myself alone at the office (very off-putting) I take the cell phone with me to the copier or the restroom.
On business trips /outings I stick to water or (sometimes) order a cocktail I don’t like and sip it; whatever I have goes with me to the ladies’ room.
It’s Hubby’s deep voice on the answering machine.
I’m not thin anymore; extra weight has lessened the burden of unwanted attention.
I never use parking garages, valet where possible and expense it, and offer no explanations or apologies.
I don’t get on elevators with men, not even one.
I limit fluids during road trips which limits stops, and never use highway rest areas; Fast food restaurants only.
At company functions I employ the “Irish Good-bye” – excuse myself and don’t come back.
Your turn:
Can you relate to this post?
How have your experiences impacted the way you navigate your day-to-day life?
Any tips or thoughts to add?
“Men often ask me, Why are your female characters so paranoid? It’s not paranoia. It’s recognition of their situation.”— Margaret Atwood, author of “The Handmaid’s Tale”
Growing up us girls would help as Mom and Aunt Irene packed for the field: Mason Jars of lemonade or iced tea, a pot of stew or chicken & dumplings wrapped in newspaper +a wool blanket before tucking all of it into a box in the trunk of the Oldsmobile. Nothing about this was disposable, Corelle traveled to the field, too. Real silverware, coffee cups and cotton napkins. As we’d head out, our cars smelling of stew, fresh bread and pie, we’d wave to the men in the field. As a child it was an adventure; for them, it was a lot of hard work and careful planning.
~ a typical scene from my childhood ~
Feeding and caring like this is an act of love and they did it well.
Combining under a Harvest Moon ~
Upon our arrival, the men would take their break and drive over to meet us, dust accompanying their arrival. They’d wash their hands and splash their faces using water from the Igloo cooler then sit cross legged in the stubble as they dunked fresh buns into steaming bowls of soup, stew or chili. Conversations ensued about what was done, what was left and what was coming next. Before long they’d stand and into their bowls would land a slab of pie or a piece of cake or maybe both. Leaning against the trucks’ end gate they’d savor dessert and coffee before handing back the bowls, giving thanks for the meal, and heading back to work.
an Emjayandthem(C) Flapper pie
We’d pack up and, with a farm dog in tow, head back to the house to plan for the next round.
Family in the field – from L-R : Grandpa, Uncle Harley, Dad and Uncle Jarl ~ An Emjayandthem (C) Photo
Thanks for the meal, here’s a song that is real, from the kid from the city to you ~ and Cheers to the unsung heroines of the Prairie ~ the women who made the breaks wonderful.
Dusty old farmer out working your fields Hanging down over your tractor wheels The sun beatin’ down turns the red pain to orange And rusty old patches of steel
There’s no farmer songs on that car radio Just cowboys, truck drivers and pain Well this is my way to say thanks for the meal And I hope there’s no shortage of rain
Straw hats and old dirty hankies Moppin’ a face like a shoe Thanks for the meal here’s a song that is real From a kid from the city to you
The combines gang up, take most of the bread Things just ain’t like they used to be Though your kids are out after the American dream And they’re workin in big factories
Now If I come on by, when you’re out in the sun Can I wave at you just like a friend These days when everyone’s taking so much There’s somebody giving back in
Straw hats and old dirty hankies Moppin’ a face like a shoe Thanks for the meal here’s a song that is real From a kid from the city to you
September brings many changes, not the least of which is the arrival of Fall colors. But even more exciting, here in my neck of the woods, is the arrival of two important happenings: crystal clear blue skies and low(er) humidity. Ahh ~ bring on happy smiling skies, outside walks, Breck-girl hair and comfortable sleeps.
Every year I declare Fall as my favorite season: The colors, the smells, the tastes – yep – it’s my favorite. It’s the one season I missed more than any other when we lived down south. In Texas, the seasons were: hot, hotter, surface-of-the sun hot, and slightly less hot. I loved many things about living in Texas but always, always I longed for Fall.
“Autumn…the year’s last, loveliest smile.” [Indian Summer]” ― John Howard Bryant
Sometimes I sleep in on the weekends ~ I still wake early and usually I get up. But sometimes, like today, I do “tuck and roll” if only for a little while. I did so today, and with great delight, dreamed of Mom. I was back in her farm kitchen and she was teaching me how to make bread. I was an impatient teen, not paying as close of attention as I should have. She had something to teach me and I listened. But not well. When I awoke, the dream felt like a visit. And even though I don’t bake or eat bread now, perhaps the lesson was in the listening.
“No one who cooks, cooks alone. Even at her most solitary, a cook in the kitchen is surrounded by generations of cooks past, the advice and menus of cooks present, the wisdom of cookbook writers.” ― Laurie Colwin
I’ve been catching up on past episodes of Anthony Bourdain’s “Parts Unknown.” ~Sigh. I’m late to his party. He was such a scamp, so much fun, with that wicked smile and sense of humour/adventure. If only he’d known it.
“I think preparing food and feeding people brings nourishment not only to our bodies but to our spirits. Feeding people is a way of loving them, in the same way that feeding ourselves is a way of honoring our own createdness and fragility.” ― Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way
From my earliest memories, our Grandmother Pearlwore pearls -pearl necklaces, drop and button earrings, bracelets and brooches. Some were real and others were fake, bought from the Avon Lady or the Sears catalogue. Mom and Aunt Irene also had a “set” that they each broke out for fancy occasions, like weddings, showers or baptisms. I’m sure they were influenced by First Lady Jackie Kennedy’s famous pearl style and later when First Lady Barbara Bush brought them back again.
Pic taken in 1923 ~ ❤️ Grandmother Pearl was 19. An Emjayandthem (C) Photo
I’ve had these pearls since the 90s ~ classic, they never go out of favor. an Emjayandthem(c) photo
I have always loved pearls. I love their softness, strength and imperfections; I love their luster, warmth, and radiance, too.
A few days ago I read this passage and was reminded how important it is to “learn to discern” – to learn we don’t have to intervene in other’s life lessons, even when you can see the train coming from afar. As hard as it is, it’s true that stepping in can only delay the learning for another. And doing so may make future lessons more difficult.
Some lessons are meant to be learned the hard way.
Matthew 7:6 “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”
How is today is September 3rd and Labor Day already?
It seems like 5 minutes ago we turned the calendar from April to May ~ and while we didn’t have a typical summer, we still enjoyed many high points — beach days, good books and BBQs. To that end here are my 5 Random 5s for Labor Day:
1 ) Good friends enjoyed shared birthdays this weekend so a celebration was organized, pot luck style. I don’t know about you but, around here, “bring a dish to pass” gatherings offer the b.e.s.t. food. Why’s that? Because everyone makes (or buys) their one “best” thing and, when you put everything together, it’s amazing. Examples of what was offered include the following:
Deviled eggs, home-made pickles, olives and various cheeses & crackers
7 Layer Salad (mine), Oriental Coleslaw, Pasta & Potato salads – all home-made – yummo!
Pastry-wrapped sausages, Sloppy Joe’s & baked beans (with bacon and enough brown sugar to carmelize an apple, yum!)
Veggies & Dip, chips & dip and Fruit salad
And birthday cake — not just any cake – but a local bakery’s marble cake with a creamy custardy middle and fluffy whipped icing — OMG.
There was more, but the above is some of what I sampled and YES I enjoyed a small piece of cake — it was sweet and creamy and a little bit went a long ways 🙂
2 ) I’ve been reading a book that I can’t stop thinking about. Normally when I land upon a good book I’ll tear through it like a starving wolf. Not this one. I’m savoring my way through. See, I’ve always known stuff I shouldn’t know, and I’ve had a feeling (good or bad)about a person, more than once. I trust it. I just didn’t know how to use it or how to protect myself from absorbing other’s “stuff.”
A sample includes:
Being an empath is different from being empathetic.
Being empathetic is when your heart goes out to someone else. Most of us do this – especially after a tragedy.
Being an empath means you can actually feel another person’s happiness or sadness in your own body. You can feel it so deeply that it can make you physically sick, sad or drained.
You may have been told to “not be so sensitive,” maybe you are, like me, sensitive to caffeine, startle easily, get overwhelmed in crowds, have a strong sense of smell and touch (sour odors and prickly clothes, no way).
3 ) I just realized that my Amazon cart always has something in it. I love the “save for later” feature. Because my internet wanderings can take me into some deep valleys, it’s nice to know I can save an item for a more rational purchase point later. Between books, vitamins, and skincare/beauty products, I enjoy new-to-me finds and repeat favorites. For someone who doesn’t enjoy shopping, I sure enjoy Amazon 🙂
4 ) Speaking of books — I did a lot of not laboring this weekend ~ I putzed, cleaned, cooked a little, read a lot, fiddled with the hot tub & read some more. Yep, definitely did. Not. Labor.
5 ) And with that, here’s September! Bring on bright sunshiney days, College Football, autumn leaves, cooler nights and less humidity. Because even though it’s Labor Day, the reality is it’s still warm, humid and summery … and that’s OK. Put down the pumpkin spice and turn on the fan!
Autumn colors are arriving (scenes from the old house)
What signs of Autumn are near you?
Could you be an Empath, too?
Are you laboring to NOT Labor this Holiday weekend?
In late June I started tracking my steps/normal activity + bouncing regularly on my Rebounder (indoor trampoline). And no, it was nothing more than a realization that I was sitting too much and moving too little.
You won’t get the butt you want sitting on the one you’ve got! 😉
As background, I’ve been bouncing on and offsince last Fall, but I finally committed to a regular schedule after joining a “Bounce Daily for 30 Days” challenge in a Rebounding Facebook Group {{ see, there can be good things in FB-land, not just political rants, recipes involving cheese or personality quizzes!}}
My beautiful bouncy Bellicon rebounder!
Since June 21 I’ve amassed 452K steps= 186 miles, and 18 hours of it is just from bouncing!
I like keeping track because keeping track keeps me accountable. I also like visuals, stats and bright colors.
But – as has been the norm for most of my adult career life, I get sucked into conference calls, long drives, last minute projects and fire drills … so when I finally arrive at home I’d come in all sloth-like. I’d give hubby a passing “hi,” stumble my way through supper, slink into a book and head off soon for bed.
Kind of like our friend the Sloth below, moving at the speed of mud:
Not anymore.
With few exceptions, now, after work, I change into “home” workout gear (the not cute kind but no one sees so who cares kind!) – old jersey shorts, a soft tank top, sports bra and light runners (You can bounce barefoot but I have one wayward foot that pronates when I do. I call her Nancy. ). I put my hair up, set a timer, crank up the tunes …. and work my way backwards – Example:
A Kitchen timer is typically set for 45 minutes
(When I started I could barely do 7 minutes. 45 mins is 6x that – SHAZAM!)
Before I know it the 35 minute mark comes around.
While I’m bouncing to Barry White, Al Green or Elvis Presley, in a blink there’s just 20 minutes to go.
20 Minutes! Meh – here comes Tom Petty, The Temptations, Three Dog Night, Mandisa or The Beatles
Soon only 7 minutes remain. …. what’s that you say?
7 minutes? Heck that’s 2 songs . .. Rock N Roll!
Beep beep, timer chirps and I’m bouncing, sweaty, smiling and happy;
You’re welcome for the tour of the Olympic Stadium housing my mind games!
But, here’s the thing – those little mind games work.
Every. Single. Time.
Because rather than announcing that I’ll “get 20 minutes in” … like it’s a hill to climb on the boring old dreadmill (that I’d likely skip) instead I imagine myself at the top of the curving hill … bouncing my way on down. Yay!
Rebounding is THIS MUCH fun!
While bouncing I experience the following:
Thinking, remembering and plotting
Losing myself in a song,
Laughing to a memory,
Gnashing through a mistake
Marveling at my endurance, coordination and strength
Smiling loudly, sorting stuff out, thinking ahead
Daydreams
Epiphanies ping-ponging past me
See, it was while bouncing that I glanced at my 2018 Vision Board — the same one my Inner Lizardhad harped at me to take down. I heard her biting remarks – it’s soooo stupid, nothing’s gonna change, take it down, it looks like a grade-school girl made it … etc etc etc.
Then I read it again.
And with my hair flying, my face sweaty and everything I had in full bounce, I might have cried just a little when I recognized sixkeywordsI’d cut out of a magazine last December:
FIND A WORKOUT YOU DON’T HATE
2018 Vision Board coming to life
So I ask you: is the exercise you’re doing fun? Because if you’re not having fun I’m guessing you’re not doing it. Or you won’t be doing it (whatever “it” is) much longer.
It’s time to mix it up, I double-dog dare ya! And write a “To Be” list while you’re at it 🙂
1 ) This picture, taken at night in my home province of Saskatchewan, Canada, brings me peace. I cannot look at those stars and not believe.
Photo Credit to Gerry Pocha
2 ) There was risk of a ratsighting today. While I am thankful for the heads-up, my skin prickled at the mention and, thankfully, I dodged the interaction. 🙂 See once you’ve lived/worked/endured rat behavior – years can pass and your tail will still twitch at the memories a bad experience left on your soul.
3 ) Yesterday was National Book Day (should be a holiday, I’m just saying…. ). Saw this and just had to share:
The greatest gift is the passion for reading. It is cheap, it consoles, it distracts, it excites, it gives you knowledge of the world and experience of a wide kind. It is a moral illumination.” — Elizabeth Hardwick
4 ) Autumn is sneaking in. Know how I know? Mornings are just slightly darker. On weekdays I am always up by 6:00 or sooner — now, it’s like August arrived and the sun decided to sleep in. Seriously, there’s been a turn and I feel it mostin the mornings. Coffee up!
5 ) The August Primary took place earlier this week. Whenever I get to vote, I think of Mom & Dad … they were both so passionate about voting and never missed an opportunity to take part. One time, because of bad weather & greasy roads, their only way out was to drive the tractor a mile & a half to the highway where they were met by Dad’s brother & sister-in-law – all four rode together into town to vote. Open-air tractor or not, Mom grabbed her red patent leather purse and hopped on. I can just see it, the two of them heading off up the hill. Man, I miss them. ❤
Mom and Dad with one of their winning horses – and a date night. An Emjayandthem(C) photo
I don’t know about you but being an adult in summer still requires some adjustment.
Dressing up when the weather says “dress down.” Shoes on when my heart screams “barefoot.”
Going inside to bed … when I want to stay up and watch fireflies dance.
In summer, I’ll start a new book and if an author bores me, feel no shame in reaching for another.
In summer I’m restless.
But not for a desire to do rather for the desire not to do.
In summer the job I enjoy feels laborious: phone calls, project calls, calls, calls and reminder calls.
Summer vacation affords an opportunity to shut that out and instead pad quietly through the house, sipping coffee, feeling the fan on my skin and the heat at the nape of my neck.
Summer days find me up early, drinking coffee and tea for hours, making bacon & eggs for lunch, and leftovers and fruit for dinner. Even better if eaten outside.
Summer brings a longing for the summers of my childhood.
Of screen doors and homemade pie, beach hair and strappy sandals; wienie roasts and kick-the-can, late night swims, ice-cream or watermelon eaten on Grandma’s steps.
Summer is the season when adulting has a very good chance of going sideways.
I’ve not tried this but it’s tempting … Happy Summer!
It’s summer ~ we’re in the throes of the season now, temps hovering in the 90s with the % of humidity matching.
In no particular order are just some of the summer delights we’ve been savoring:
Morning coffees on the patio
Fireflies fluttering at dusk
Strawberries, corn-on-the-cob and 7-Layer Salad
Anything grilled ~ steak, chicken, shrimp and more
Hubbs golfing later and me reading later, all to summer’s golden light
A soft serve ice-cream, half chocolate & half vanilla, with half of it running down your arm
Stray cat visits
Kids playing in the sprinkler and Yellow finches mining my flowers
Couples walking together and dogs walking owners
The joy of a new book and the laziness of summer magazines
The smell of fresh limes on my fingers after squeezing into a margarita, the kiss of summer on my shoulders and the tangle of beach waves in my hair
+ + + + + + +
“Summer, after all, is a time when wonderful things can happen to quiet people. For those few months, you’re not required to be who everyone thinks you are, and that cut-grass smell in the air and the chance to dive into the deep end of a pool give you a courage you don’t have the rest of the year. You can be grateful and easy, with no eyes on you, and no past. Summer just opens the door and lets you out.” -Deb Caletti, Honey, Baby, Sweetheart
A while back, a blogging friend Dor, awarded me the “Sunshine Blogger Award” – this award is as special as sunshine on my shoulders, sunshine on my toes… Or saying my future’s so bright I just gotta wear shades!
taken yesterday
Thank you Dor for your kindness & for including me. The rules are to do the following –
Give a Big Hearty Thanks to the blogger who nominated you & link back to them (Check!)
Answer the questions the other blogger asked you (See below)
Nominate a host of others (rules suggest 8-11) but I’m just gonna leave this open whomever wants to play along and 😀
List the rules/display the Sunshine Blogger Award on your site. (done)
Here are the questions Dor posed for me:
Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Do you wish you were the other and why?
Gemini ~ both, depends on the day and situation. I can work the room at a conference or cocoon myself away with my books ~ it all depends.
Are you an animal lover? What pets do you have and love?
Yes, no pets right now but our Grand-Dogs and a Stray Cat warm my ❤ regularly
Who was your favorite teacher and why?
Mr. Corbett; he was smart, strict and fun
Have you ever had a bad habit you broke? What was it and how did you change it?
I’ve stopped asking for permission to enjoy myself!
What is your favorite place to relax? Explain where it is and why it helps.
Home or outside / outside at home / the beach! I’m cozy at home and comfy outside, provided it’s not 95F+
What is your favorite movie of all time?
One I watch every time it’s on is “Something’s Gotta Give.” ~sigh
Do you love to travel or do you hate it? Why?
Love to travel for vacation and I tolerate business travel.
I love the coming & going, but I don’t love impatient flyers trying to fit a couch into the overhead compartment. Remember when flying used to be fun?
Are you an organized or a disorganized person?
Organized. My grocery list is typed in the order of the store. I admit it 😉
Are you always late, early, or right on time? Are there any advantages or disadvantages to your timing?
Always early. A disadvantage is that not everyone riding with me is ready on time!
Do you create lots of blog posts in advance of publishing or do you do one at a time?
As they come to me
What inspires you to create a blog post?
see answer to #1 😉
And here are your questions, friends:
What’s a scent or fragrance that takes you back to summers as a child?
What dessert item do you remember savoring at family reunions, parties or weddings?
Name a song that makes you want to get up & dance.
What ability do you wish you had and why?
Who do you wish you could have a conversation with?
Man, I miss them. ❤
