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Opinion

Random 5 Friday ~ Mothers Day, Coincidences and GPS

It’s Friday and time for a few randoms from my corner of the universe.  Ready?  Set?  Go:

1 ) Mother’s Day as a child meant 3 things:  a) Church/Sunday School, b) a family get-together and c) Homemade cards/gifts for Mom.    Like they’ve done before, my boys asked to take me out for “a nice lunch.”     They know this is the one thing I want more than anything from the store – time with them.  We met up – they gave me their gifts and cards with notes of love and appreciation and I  savored the moment.  We laughed till we cried and I beamed with the love I feel for them.   In my view, the greatest gift a Mom can ever get is children who grow up to be people you want to be with!  We ate, we laughed, we leaned in.  I felt the love then and still do.  ❤

2 ) Whenever I have  a “big” meeting or presentation to do I “bring” Mom with me – by wearing a piece of her jewelry as her reminder to “go get ’em, kid” – She’s met the Governor, Congressmen/women, Leaders of state, Senators, House Reps, congressional pages, Mayors & more ~ she’s with me every step of the way.    And if I encounter any “nonsense” I’m not afraid to use my firmest  “Mom voice” which of course I learned from her!

Just a couple of Mom’s rings – Peridot & Padparadshca Citrine ~ she loved her “right hand rings” from the shopping channel.

3 )  In meetings earlier this week I had one of those moments we’ve all had where you know the answer to a  question not yet asked.   Tingling and trying not to jump ahead I listened closely;  when I shared my thoughts later the speaker pulled back, her eyebrow went up and a smile filled her face.  “How did you know that?” she asked.   “Because sometimes I just know.”  We talked about coincidences and serendipity and how sometimes we find ourselves right where we’re meant to be; it’s up to us to recognize it when it happens.   The more I acknowledge it when it occurs, the more it occurs for me.

Fate’s like that, I find.

4 )  Saw this and laughed out loud because  1) it is so true and 2 ) I admit that I often still revert to “old school GPS” – read on ~

5 ) I’ve been traveling weekly these past few months;  one day easily rolls into the next, weekends have been full and a Tuesday morning can feel like it should be Saturday already.    Memorial Day is next week and – gasp – it’s been 3 months since I woke up to this:

Winter 2019 – an Emjayandthem(C) photo

 

So, what’s new in your world?   Experience any coincidences lately?  Do you remember “70’s GPS?”

Happy Friday!  😀

 

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Categories: Attitude, Blogging, Confidence at any age, Fun, Growth, Holidays, Home, Joy, Life, Love, Mom, Opinion, Relationships, Seasons, Travel, Wisdom, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Spending my Sundays

Sunday ~ windows open, birds chirping and lawnmowers buzz in the distance.

3 weeks ago ~ snow; today ~ 70F.

Hubbs hurried around earlier as he readied for golf; I slept in, savored coffee and started a pot of soup.  He’ll be back later, wind burnt and sore, happy and tired.   We’ll visit over soup and smile at the day.

It really doesn’t matter what season it is, there’s something about Sundays that I love most.

It could be the quiet stillness of the house.

It could be the smell of supper lingering on the stove.

It could be meandering phone conversations with my sister or cousin or none at all.

It could be me starting a new book or reading 5 magazines or sitting on the floor sorting .shoes.

It could be towels tumbling in the dryer and fresh warm sheets on the bed.

It could be me that I spend my Sundays doing whatever I choose.

“Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to. Stay home on New Year’s Eve if that’s what makes you happy. Skip the committee meeting. Cross the street to avoid making aimless chitchat with random acquaintances. Read. Cook. Run. Write a story.” Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking

 

  • How do you “spend” free time?
    • Do you feel compelled to be productive and get things done?
  • Are you able to let the day lead you?
    • When’s the last time you had nothing to do and a whole day to do it?

 

Categories: Attitude, Beauty, Blogging, Food, Home, Joy, Life, Opinion, Personal, Seasons | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Random 5 Saturday ~ rooms, fasting and fools

It’s nearly May and *gasp* I’ve hardly been here.  As in, on the blog.  I’ve driven to and been in meetings all over this state – an excess of 2,500 miles logged in the past 5 weeks. I’ve woken up and thought Monday was Saturday. I’ve wondered where I was – hotel or home?  Too much, too much.  I’m ready for some down time and soon.  So, with that, I do believe it’s time for 5 Randoms from my world. You ready?  Let’s go.

1 )   This room:  I can feel myself, coffee in hand, meandering my way to that white patio chair ~ birds signing and me humming, you?

2 )  I accepted a last-minute speaking request Monday for an event on Wednesday.  150+ in the audience in a City I’ve never been with people I’d never before met.  One had been in the audience for a presentation I’d given at a neighboring conference so that happenstance created the opportunity for this one ~ Motoring there, tunes up, I remembered this quote:

“Great things never came from comfort zones.” …

And I smiled at how much I welcomed the “break” in my ‘routine.’

3 )  Miss Kitty Kitters (neighborhood cat) visited us earlier in the week ~ Spring’s arrival means she moseys by and stops in for a pet or five.  I don’t know where winter holds her, but she sure is happy to be out walking the her beat again.

She looks like this and is even cuter!

4 ) Something I’ve noticed working 5 days a week – office or home – I tend to eat on schedule.  And sometimes, I think I eat because it’s time to, not b/c I’m hungry.  ( It’s that old fear of low blood sugar shakes returning that causes me to do this, I know.)  On weekends, I’m up early – between 6 and 7am – but I don’t eat until ~1pm… I mosey through the house, straightening this, cleaning that, and sipping coffee all the while.  I eat around 1 and again at 6 or 7pm & then I am done for the night.  And I’m just fine, not starving.  Not one bit.

An epiphany — I’ve been “Intermittent Fasting” without even realizing it – this. is. how. my. body. prefers. things. to. be.    A light bulb went on – I’m gonna give IF a go during the work week, too — for more info on the benefits of Intermittent Fasting (eating in a window only), read Gin Stephens’ “Delay Don’t Deny” – reading now .. and yeah, wow!

Most of a fast happens when you are asleep … hence break-fast

5 ) At a meeting several weeks ago a seemingly mild-mannered individual suddenly turned.   Red-faced and angry, he snarled, looking for a fight.   I didn’t take the bait.  In that moment,  I remembered these words, and I might have even said them out loud, I’m not sure.  See I get angry, too, and I refuse to be bullied or talked over.  The meeting soon ended, he’s likely still angry and Jimmy Cracked Corn!

And how was your week? Any AHAs recently?

 

 

 

 

Categories: Animals, Attitude, Beauty, Growth, Joy, Life, News, Opinion, Personal, Relationships, Self Discovery, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Served what you deserve

This recent article about a suspected Rhino poacher who was trampled by Elephant(s) and then eaten by lions .. y-ouch!

It takes me back to working for a belligerent trophy-hunting executive years ago, the one whose African Safari journey ended in a big fat slice of Karma Pie.

this is what I imagine Karma pie to look like .. but maybe it’s chunky and hard to choke down?

Or the snarky sneaky lying rat of a boss who finally met his match and helped this believer drop 250 lbs in one day.

Karma’s coming!

Yep, every time I hear of a story like this, I’m reminded of something I’ve always told our boys:

  • Karma is only bad if you are

 

 

  • Do you believe in Karma?
  • Have you witnessed Karma coming full circle – in good ways and bad?

Categories: Attitude, Determination, Growth, Life, Life Lessons, music, News, Opinion, Personal, Quotes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Random 5 for Sunday ~ Good-bye March

It’s March 31st ~ Robins hopped in the snow today – their reappearance makes me hopeful even when the weather hasn’t caught up to the calendar.

5 Randoms from my world, here we go ~

1 )   The photo of this bed took me right back to my Grandma’s house ~ to starched sheets, sheer curtains blowing in a summer breeze, and the abject thrill I felt being able to spend the night there.  So lucky!

2 ) Someone raved to me about a new bakery that opened and I considered ordering some of their treats for an upcoming event I’m planning.  And then I remembered a southern family recipe I’d been given by a Texas colleague – for 7-Up pound Cake – and I do believe that my $6 cake beats a $20 professional one.  I might have to triple the recipe.

not my picture

3 )  Saw this and thought, yep ~ that’s been me this winter .. tucked in, books stacked, cozy, don’t bother me 🙂

4 ) Haven’t pulled a muscle but I have fallen over putting on socks.  And I draw the line at KALE 😀

5 )  Yes, this, fur-ever and a day ❤

What random thing happened in your world this week?

Categories: Attitude, Beauty, Blogging, Home, Opinion, Personal, Seasons | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Spring / Slog Forward ~ 2019

It comes every year whether we like it or not: Daylight Savings Time.  We Spring Forward – turn clocks an hour ahead and experts like to claim we’ll feel like this:

google images

And every time it has the opposite effect on me:

google images

So today, I’ll do as I’ve learned to do ~

  • I’ll cook a few things, but not too ambitiously.
  • I’ll read a while, but not too ambitiously.
  • I’ll workout a bit, but not too ambitiously.
  • I’ll go to bed a little sooner and give myself some grace to adjust … ambitiously.

But, after the winter we’ve had/been having, anything with the word Spring in it should be embraced 🙂

Still,  I’m with Maxine on this:

google images

 

** No kitties were harmed in this post

What are your thoughts on Daylight Savings time?

Categories: Animals, Attitude, Home, Life, News, Opinion, Personal | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Sunday thoughts: Tidying up, sunshine & magic

We’re already into mid-January it occurred to me this morning that I haven’t blogged since last year!

Gulp.  Life comes at us fast, especially in the new year.

2019 came at me like ..

Holidays ended, work resumed, and tripled in intensity.   It’s been a steady dose of crazy since, with not much room or time to breathe.  Early mornings, long days, lots of travel and copious conference calls.  Thankfully, a solid winter storm blew in this weekend, encapsulating us in icy roads, fresh snow, with a fridge full of leftovers and no particular place to be.

Darn.

That brings me to today ~ awake at 6:30 I hit tossed in a load of laundry, padded through the house and caught up on your blogs.

Random observations came my way and they include:

1  )   Have you heard of the “Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up book and movement afoot?   Based on her best-selling guide to de-cluttering your home, and soon-to-be TV series,  Marie Kondo espouses the virtues of sorting through everything – and I mean – every thing to determine “what sparks joy.”  If it doesn’t, it goes.   Now I am very familiar with the term “you can’t organize clutter” so I purge/donate/recycle on a regular basis.  Her advice is to start small, say with 1 drawer, and go through every piece that’s in it … I started with my sock drawer and found it can’t be opened all the way … probably because of the preponderance of black dress socks.  ~ Sigh.  I laughed, and set my sights in another direction.  If you’ve tried this approach and it’s helped you, do tell!

2 ) Last night I had every intention of delving into several new books; I’ve got a stack waiting for me, purchased with Christmas gift cards ~ my favorite.  Instead I read women’s magazines, binge-watched “Shark Tank,” laughed with hubby and chatted with my cousin.   Regardless, doing nothing and lots of it, was great therapy.  PS My favorite “Shark Tank” product so far has been this one ~ an amazing cleaning do-dadd that really does work:

3 )  Growing up in bright & sunny western Canada (Saskatchewan) I took our daily sunlight for granted. Yes winters were cold and windy but, for the most part, ALWAYS sunny.  Sunglasses and Sunblock are a necessity year round– now I live in Western Michigan, and because of our proximity to Lake Michigan (and lots of winter cloud cover) our winters are regularly dreary, dark and long.  I really struggle with lack of sunlight.

Update on my previous product review:  I cannot say enough good things about the Verilux Happy Light –  AMAZING!   In just 2 weeks of using it I cut my total coffee consumption in 1/2 and caffeine dosage from full throttle “Farmer’s coffee” to decaf by using this amazing little light.  Sitting near it first thing in the morning helps reset your circadian rhythm & will help you sleep (instead of lying in bed making 3AM “to-do” lists like I used to). 

Caution:   Do NOT use at night, you will be up for 1/2 of it, oops. 

I started out small, at 7-10 mins. a day, and have worked my way up to 30 mins. daily.  If YOU also slog through the dark days of winter, give the HappyLight Compact ($40 on Amazon) a try.  The. Best. $40. Ever. Spent! 🙂

4 )  Long-time blog readers, family and friends know I enjoy technology and gadgets.  But after our son told me how their “Alexa” interjected into their conversation, more than once,  I firmly advised him  to “never buy me one.”  My cell phone does enough eavesdropping as it is.  This Meme is about right, ha!

5 )  And, as much as technology makes our lives easier, and sometimes even healthier, there’s always going to be something about a real book that draws me in … and so does this picture:

Your turn:

  •  Are you working to “tidy up?”
    • What method works for you?
  • Any cool new-to-you gadgets to share?
  • What’s the best book you’ve read lately?

Happy Sunday!

Categories: Attitude, Determination, Family, Fun, Home, Humor, Joy, Life, Opinion, Personal, Products I love, Self Discovery, Share, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Useful Information, Work | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Random 5 December Friday ~ Days off, kid time, new years and music

It’s the last Friday of December, how did that happen?  That means it’s time for 5 randoms from my world.

1 )  Been on holidays for 7 days and have 5 more to enjoy before I head back to work.  Today is that day:

I’ve gone to bed when tired and gotten up when I’m not.  I’ve relaxed, stretched, played and laughed.  I’ve watched movies, read (2) books and started a 3rd.    Ahh … leaning in.  

2 ) Over the summer I took care of our grand-daughter different times while her older brother was at camp, we dubbed those days “Camp Nana” because it was all fun and games. During this Christmas break I spent the day with both grand kids while their parents were at work.   Dad had left them a “to-do” list and I helped them tackle it+ added more~ that visit soon became “Nana Boot Camp” – ha ha! But they did great: they worked hard to tidy up –  they picked up, vacuumed, folded, dusted, put away, emptied the dishwasher and completed about 4 trash runs. They didn’t complain because I was right there working beside them – we spent the rest of the day cooking, playing games and playing outside.  (Our snow is long gone!)  It wasn’t lost on me that it was “Boxing Day,”  the same day Mom used to round us kids up to help her tidy the house.   The grands were proud of their efforts and joyful at the many rounds of dice, Jenga, and Uno we played.    Time marches on but kids are still just kids and, from my experience, kids spell love T-I-M-E.

Grandson learning how to make Nana’s “Sloppy Joe’s”;  coincidentally this was the first recipe I ever made in 4-H. An Emjayandthem (C) photo

3 )    In many ways this has been a trying year and  I won’t be sad to see it go.   This picture sums it up:

4  )  As grueling and demanding and relentless as my job can be I was delighted to be awarded $$ for notable project work recently completed.   Smiling, I knew straight away where that $$ was going == AMAZON.  Funds are in my account, and I’ve already made one purchase ~ something perfect for our gloomy west Michigan winters.  Arriving tomorrow, I plan to use it daily ~ whee!

Google Image:  The Verilux HappyLight Compact makes your indoors brighter.

  • Product notes:  For millions of people, light therapy can make a not-so-great day much better – and brighter. The bottom line is, almost none of us get outside as much as we should to get as much natural full spectrum sunlight that we, as humans, need. Our bodies have evolved to actually require sunlight, and when we don’t have enough we can be groggy, irritable, unfocused and more. To make it worse, as days get shorter in the fall and winter, many people are affected by winter blues. This full spectrum light therapy lamp can help make you happier year-round.  Amazon $40

5 ) Saw this video last night and have watched it (and sang along) about 5 times already.    Trees will be bending, indeed.  SANG it, kids!   And props to the Choir Director ~ how I’d love to be part of a choir like this one!   🙂

So, what’s going on in your world?  Care to share?  And, ready or not, here’s to 2019!

Categories: Attitude, Faith, Family, Food, Gratitude, Growth, Holidays, Home, Life, Life Lessons, Love, music, Opinion, Personal, Recipes, Thoughts, Wisdom, Work | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Generationally speaking

So there was this presentation at a recent conference that I keep thinking about: a presentation on the challenges different generations within one organization face:  challenges communicating, differing expectations, sharing of feedback, work styles, and more.

Background – My employer has undergone tremendous growth over the past couple of years – with so many coming, and even more going. And when employees leave, we don’t know they’re gone until their emails go unanswered or, worse yet, names disappear from the employee directory.

Change can be good. But it can also be unsettling.

It’s odd being the last one standing from the original team.

Some retired, some fired, others left on their own.

I’m the keeper of a history no one cares to know about, until they need it. And explaining it over and over again is exhausting.  I’ve had four bosses in two years ~ my head’s spinning.

At 55 I’m now the oldest employee in the office; it’s to me whom others come to for advice, counsel and direction.  50% of our workforce is under the age of 37.

Those of us with 20 to 30 years of experience are in the minority; even more rare are employees like me who’ve only had two to three employers our entire career.  The new normal is 5-8 employers by age 35.

A 60 minute conference call can start with 15 minutes of praising and fawning over the leader.    I’m embarrassed by a the clamoring, gushing and kissing of the ring.  Blah.

My generation, the baby boomers, had many candidates competing for each job, every opportunity, every advancement. We signed up, showed up, and kept up. We got it done.

We wrote and adhered to policy, learned by trial and by fire, came in early, worked through lunch, and stayed late. We respected authority and boundaries and did our best to manage and succeed through the pace and the stress.

“Work/life” balance, what’s that?  “Purpose over paycheck?”  Huh?

Boomers stayed loyal to our employers, believing that, over time our hard work and dedication would be rewarded.  And sometimes it was. But,  just as often, it wasn’t.

Now we find ourselves working with much younger colleagues ~ Generation “X”ers, and Millennials.

Lest I sound too negative let me make it clear many are smart, creative and witty.  They’re accomplished, hard-charging, bright and capable.

However this is a group who seems to be always “on,” consistently paying half-attention while multitasking, and who don’t regularly slow down long enough take a breath, ask questions or listen for the answer. Some skip greetings, salutations, punctuation and sentence structure.  I’ve had bosses who text at all hours of the day and night, and colleagues rattling off stats on whatever personal milestone, habit or TV series they’re binge-watching now, like doing so is an accomplishment.  Co-workers who steadily are “plugged in,” and constantly seeking reassurance, admiration, affirmations are exhausting.

I know some view Boomers like me as rigid and set-in-our-ways.  But with our consistency comes depth of experience, too.  I know I’m not alone in wondering how this is all going to play out.

~But ~

Something positive that may come of this is that a new workforce who demands a better work environment, a positive office culture, robust perks and equal pay is sure to benefit all of us.

Related:

  • This organization defines millennials as the generation aged 21 to 36 in 2017.
    • In 2017, 56 million millennials were working or looking for a job — outnumbering 53 million Gen Xers, who made up 33% of the labor force, and 41 million Baby Boomers, who accounted for 25% of the total.
      • Apr 16, 2018

 

  • Bye Bye Boomers: Who will fill your workforce gap?
    • According to Gallup, about a third of today’s workforce comes from the 75 million-strong Baby Boom generation.
    • The oldest Boomers turn 70 next year and the youngest are in their early 50s.
    • More than 44 million of them are still working.

 

And while a bit extreme, these two clips made me laugh:

 

 

What’s been your experience?  Can you relate to this post?

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Determination, Growth, Life, News, Opinion, Personal, Relationships, Self Discovery, Technology, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Women, Work | Tags: , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Really living this Thanksgiving

It’s the night before Thanksgiving … and all through the House, Not a spatula was stirring …

WHAT?

  • NO taking the day before off work to clean, cook, prep and repeat?
  • NO fridge stuffed with Cheese Balls, Salads, Cheesecake and Pie?
  • NO 10,000+ steps inside the house?
  • NO setting the alarm to shove the bird, ham and other delights into the oven?

2017 Thanksgiving eve’s Fridge – Cherry cheesecake, Mom’s Pineapple carrot salad, homemade cheese balls and more. an Emjayandthem(C) photo

Nope.  Nada. None.

Today I went to the office, had time to stop for a coffee (gasp!) and worked a “normal” day.

  • No cutting out early to set tables, stock up on booze, clean the garage,  wash crystal or defrost something.
  • Nope. Nada. None.

Why?

Oldest boy and his beautiful bride bought their first home earlier this year and, while walking through their gorgeous open concept kitchen/living room, I may have happily proclaimed, “WOW this is gonna be great for the Holidays!”

There might have been a skip in my step, not sure.

See, I’ve loved cooking and entertaining and fussing and decorating and providing for everyone all these years (32+ but who’s counting?) but do you know what I love even more?

  • That my big strapping handsome son loves it, too.
    • And so does his wife!
  • I love that he has some semblance of understanding what’s he’s in for and that they want to host Thanksgiving this year.
    • As the chief cook, cleaner and bottle washer, I couldn’t be PROUDER!
      • And neither could these two, although they’d never believe it was a MAN was stepping in to cook!

Grandma and Mom in the kitchen together; and Emjayandthem (C) photo

BREAKING NEWS:  Are you sitting down?

This is the first family Holiday I haven’t hosted, cooked, cleaned for or done.

For at least 35 years.

Thirty. Five. Years.

Flash forward to tonight:

  • Hubbs and I are to bring a couple of side dishes, show up, mingle and BE GUESTS!
    • We may have done the dance of joy more than once tonight (he in his fuzzy pants and me in mine, prepping my 2 side dishes {done and in the fridge already!})
      • Her parents, Grandparents and brother are coming, too.
      • So is youngest boy and his fiance.
    • Their dog will be in the mix, too, and he and I are likely to be shooed out of the kitchen.
      • Can’t wait.

 

  • Hubbs and I toyed with the idea of (not really) being BAD guests, you know the ones .. they don’t bring what they said they would OR they show up late OR they bring other guests you don’t know OR all of the above!
    • But we won’t do that.
      • But we laughed hard at the thought of it.

 

“If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.” ~ Gail Sheehy

 

Your turn:

  • What traditions have you changed up lately?
  • What would you like to change-up?
    • Happy Thanksgiving!

 

P.S.

  • Made Hubbs some fudge just because.
    • He very nicely offered that “some” could go with us tomorrow ~

Categories: Attitude, Blogging, Confidence at any age, Faith, Family, Food, Growth, Holidays, Home, Joy, Life, Love, Men, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Thoughts, Wisdom, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Random 5 *Vacation* Friday

It’s Friday, the last Friday of October (what??) so it’s probably time for 5 randoms from my world.

1)  Recently my job took me to Charlotte, N.C.; before my conference began I made time to visit the Billy Graham Library – the library sits on beautiful grounds.  I found the opportunity to review his life’s work inspiring.  When a volunteer offered to pray for me at the end of the tour I felt myself overcome with emotion ~ while the conference was eventful, that visit, and her prayers, were life-affirming.

  • “I have never known a man who received Christ and ever regretted it.” – Billy Graham

2 )  Last Tuesday I turned on the out-of-office messages, walked away and managed to stay offline for over a week.  It helped that I was visiting on family farms with 1 cell bar and limited broadband.    Disconnecting  so as to reconnect … ahh.

3 )  The November Primary is fast approaching ~ between Robocalls, political ads and door stuffers, we’re bombarded with information.  Last night, the phone rang as the doorbell chimed ~ I answered the door to find two young and cheerful volunteers stumping for a Congressional candidate.  Neither could answer my questions about the candidate’s position on various issues but the handout they gave me was a glossy full-color job.   Maybe it’s me but if I were knocking on doors for someone I’d make sure I knew what they stood for.

  • Stand your ground; it’s sacred.

4 )  On vacation I went to bed late, got up early, walked a lot, talked more and enjoyed some pie.  No regrets.

  • “Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.” ― David Mamet

5 ) Visiting my childhood home again something jumped out at me: the moon.  That big Harvest Moon.  And not just the brightness but the nearness of it.

Taken in the valley south of North Battleford, Saskatchewan. Photo by Jeff Wizniak

  • Three things cannot be long hidden:  the sun, the moon and the truth. -Buddha

 * * * * * * * * *

I’m on vacation still and was wide awake at 5:30 this morning ~  Coffee up!

So, what’s new in your world?

 

Categories: Blogging, Elections, Faith, Family, Food, Friendship, Fun, Growth, Holidays, Home, Life, Opinion, Personal, Thoughts, Travel, Women, Work, Writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Lists in the face

I remember being surprised at being invited to that executive’s retirement party given we’d hardly interacted.  I was around 27 and, looking back, a bit naive.

The night of the party, one of the (ancient) executive’s pals, in his toast to the retiree, joked about inviting “pretty girls like __(me)__ so we all have something nice to look at.” Their wives looked horrified and sad, most men chuckled, and I can still feel the rage at being reduced to “something.”

I know and have loved many wonderful men – decent, kind and gentle men.  I’m fortunate I can easily rattle off a long list including Grandfathers,  Great Uncles, Dad and his brothers, my husband and our sons. But I also have known – and had to work with – creeps.  And, in my experience, the creeps spoil the well for the good men.

Now, as a Grandmother, my Spidey senses are on FIRE whenever I’m out with our grandkids – both grandSON and grandDAUGHTER — I watch them like a hawk even though they aren’t “babies” any more.    I’m hyper-aware of everyone around us; if one asks to go off to another aisle to “see just one thing” we all go; it’s not up for discussion.

I’ve talked with the grands about good people and bad people, about trusting their instincts, and if someone makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe to tell any of us, and that they will never be in trouble for doing so.  I worry about Social Media and creepy perverts who lurk in shadows everywhere.  But, as many of us know, creepy perverts were in our churches, schools, and communities long before Facebook or SnapChat ever existed.

I made a quick list of how experiences with creepy men has impacted how I live; the list wrote itself in minutes.

  • I stay alert and pay attention to surroundings; if someone feels “off” I get away from them.
  • I never walk, shop for groceries or stop for gas in the dark.
  • I prefer to exercise in the house vs. in the neighborhood.
  • I wear a cross body purse, always and my cell phone remains charged and accessible, even at home.
  • I check the back seat of any vehicle before getting in, anywhere and in every light.
  • I rarely venture away from the hotel when traveling for business ~ Company (male) colleagues like to walk to restaurants for group events (because they never have to think about lists like this!). I prefer to take a taxi but will walk in a larger (mixed) group.
  • I never sleep on flights.
  • All windows and doors are locked  ~ if I find myself alone at the office (very off-putting) I take the cell phone with me to the copier or the restroom.
  • On business trips /outings I stick to water or (sometimes) order a cocktail I don’t like and sip it; whatever I have goes with me to the ladies’ room.
  • It’s Hubby’s deep voice on the answering machine.
  • I’m not thin anymore;  extra weight has lessened the burden of unwanted attention.
  • I never use parking garages,  valet where possible and expense it, and offer no explanations or apologies.
  • I don’t get on elevators with men, not even one.
  • I limit fluids during road trips which limits stops, and never use highway rest areas; Fast food restaurants only.
  • At company functions I employ the Irish Good-bye – excuse myself and don’t come back.

Your turn:

  • Can you relate to this post?
  • How have your experiences impacted the way you navigate your day-to-day life?
    • Any tips or thoughts to add?

 

“Men often ask me, Why are your female characters so paranoid? It’s not paranoia. It’s recognition of their situation.” — Margaret Atwood, author of “The Handmaid’s Tale”

 

 

Categories: Attitude, Determination, Faith, fear, Grief, Growth, Life, Life Lessons, News, Opinion, Personal, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Travel, Useful Information, Work | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

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