Self Discovery

Random 5 Monday ~ Bourdain, Beaches and Ducks

Posted on June 25, 2018 by emjayandthem

It’s Monday and it’s time for some random thoughts from the ever-swirling mind of yours truly. Ready? No. Well get set, let’s go!

1 ) Still reeling over the loss of Anthony Bourdain. I’m not even a foodie. And I wanted to be one … watching him. I wanted to walk into his kitchen, sit at his table, have him flirt outrageously with me, tell a clever joke and have him lean in for the punch line. Young, middle-aged, older – there was something about him that drew us in. And kept us there. This blogger sums up our loss beautifully – https://atypical60.com/2018/06/09/the-anthony-bourdain-i-knew/ #LOSS.

Help is available by calling 1-800-273-8255 or at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

I hope he has peace now. 😦

2 ) Last week I took a couple of days off ~ I was, once again, up against the deadline. Time to use vacation days. Darn. Thursday I packed tea, sunblock, my books and a beach chair and drove myself to Lake Michigan. A place where stress does not thrive. I read for hours, enjoyed other people’s children, watched a wedding, dug my toes in the sand and came home with beach hair & freckles. And yes, I aim to repeat this many times over the summer. #SUMMERGOALS.

~~~ ahhh ~~~
An Emjayandthem(C) Photo

3 ) The days are longer now that summer is officially here. Celebrating my birthday I reflected on changes. Much much stays the same ~ the work load, schedule, and expectations. But I’ve changed – I’m a bit easier on myself than I used to be. I’ve said “no” to others so I can say “yes” to me. I’ve slowed down. I’ve leaned in. I’ve savored. There’s a shift and I like it. #SELF-CARE

4 ) Something I’ve realized – getting older – is that I’m a lot like Mom: I don’t mind time alone, I crave it. I get a little bit cranky with too many people and too much noise. Yes I enjoy good conversation, music and such but I can – and will – easily spend days by myself. A few nights back I imagined taking a week off and never leaving the house. I found myself day-dreaming of how that would go:

Sleep
Read
Putter outside
Read
Write
Chat on the phone / visit with Hubbs
Sing/dance to music
Read
Putter outside
Read
Exercise/stretch
Sleep

I even had a fantasy food list ready. It came to me immediately and goes something like this:

Strong coffee with cream
Grilled anything & Fresh veggies
Strawberries and watermelon
Iced Tea
Bacon & eggs
Fajitas
Avocados
Chinese Coleslaw
Margaritas and Fresh Limes

I realized that this exercise was really me manifesting my summer “wish list.” Yep, time to book more days off. #SUMMERGOALS

5 ) Saw two ducks on my walk earlier tonight … made me think of this:

#CORNYJOKESMAKEMELAUGH

~~~~~~~

Your turn:

Did a celebrity death ever leave you reeling? (recent or not)
Are you making a summer wish list, too?
Got any bread?

Random 5 Sunday in March

Posted on March 18, 2018 by emjayandthem

It’s a sunny Sunday and time for 5 Random thoughts.

1 Looking up from my desk Friday, I noticed both wall Calendars set to February. It’s March and then some.

The bad news is that time flies. The good news is that you’re the Pilot. ~ Michael Altshuler

2 Signs of Spring are everywhere; snow and wind one day, sunshine & smiles the next. Birds and squirrels cover the yard. Snow clings to the fence. Easter in 2 weeks.

Springtime is the land awakening; The March winds are the morning yawn. ~ Lewis Grizzard

3 Week 2 of a personal cell so I can turn off the work one. Habits take practice and I’m enjoying practicing.

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others. ~ Brene Brown

4 Stretch. Read. Rest. Repeat.

Take rest. A field that has rested gives a bountiful crop. ~Ovid

5 Last week I gave away something I didn’t use but another could benefit from. Yesterday I cooked a meal for someone who needed it. The rewards outweigh the effort.

The best way to do good for ourselves is to be doing good to others; the best way to gather is to scatter. ~Thomas Brooks

Shifting horizons, adjusting boundaries and adding in self-care = peace.

What’s new in your world?

related: On Saying Yes

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Faith, Food, Friendship, Gratitude, Growth, Life, Personal, Quotes, Self Discovery | Tags: boundaries, bountiful crop, Brene Brown, courage and daring are coursing through you, doing for others, It's time to show up and be seen, rest, self-care, Sunday, time flies, time is growing short, unexplored adventures ahead of you, you were born worth of love and belonging | 10 Comments

The Road to Shambala

Posted on November 12, 2017 by emjayandthem

I’m heading into the holiday season with the last of my scheduled corporate travel behind me now – Yippy Skippy! I’ve not had much free time so this blog has lagged but I still think about writing, just as I think about many other things on my “to-do” list.

Epiphanies that took place this week include:

1 ) Music is therapy. Road trips are better with handsome men singing harmony. 🙂 And hearing this song took me back to my summer trip with my sister and a concert we enjoyed featuring the music of Three Dog Night. Front row seats – great music – and stellar company was simply awesome. No matter what I’m thinking about, when a good song comes on I just have to crank it up and sing along.

2 ) Decisions that continue to bear fruit – ahead of one of my many trips, I sent a note to a group of girlfriends I’d met at a workshop in May of 2015 ~ vibrant, intelligent, wonderful women. Several quickly responded that – yes – they’d love to meet for lunch this past Friday! As the date drew near a few had to drop out but still 3 of us met — we enjoyed delicious food, the camaraderie that comes from being around others who “get us” and laughs galore. We shared our hopes, our dreams, and our plans. We encouraged each other. Boy, what one hour of positive company can do for you!

3 ) GPS boondoggles are often just what’s needed – when the system takes me off the beaten path and down a country road, I often am grateful for the diversion. I am not sure exactly where I was when I snapped this picture but that’s the point. Friends commented “but what if you’d had car trouble?” and my thought was “what a better place to be if I did.” – Surrounded by fields and farms and trucks driving down those roads – all drivers waved. Me – tunes on, windows cracked, smiling wide.

Snow’s a-coming. Somewhere in MI; and Emjandthem (C) photo

Wash away my troubles, wash away my pain

With the rain in Shambala

Wash away my sorrow, wash away my shame

With the rain in Shambala

Had any epiphanies lately?

Categories: Attitude, Beauty, Blogging, Growth, Holidays, Home, Joy, Life, music, News, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Seasons, Self Discovery, Technology, Thoughts, Women, Writing | Tags: GPS, music is my therapy, picture, road trips, The road to Shambala, Three Dog Night | 10 Comments

Random 5 – Conference calls, folding chairs and Hey Macarena !

Posted on July 18, 2017 by emjayandthem

I regularly think of random things. That’s how this brain works – – in the car, at night, during conference calls … Too much swirling around to stop randomly weird things from popping in & making themselves at home.

1 ) Weekends .. when I have no deadlines and no reasons not to sleep in .. I don’t. Nope. I’m awake early, rolling around, flipping/flopping till finally I just fling the blankets off and stomp to the coffee pot ~ I see the early clock and sigh because this is the stuff weekday dreams are made of … but no, not me. I’m up. Up!

2 ) I read this quote recently and claimed it:

I hope to arrive at my death, late, in love, and a little drunk. ~Atticus

well if that doesn’t say it all!

3 ) Three weeks ago I went shopping for a reclining beach chair – the kind you can use in your backyard or at the beach (the one I never go to unless company is in town). So I set it up in on the patio, stack my books and an Arnie Palmer then haul out 75+ sun block, a fly swatter & a water spray bottle. I lay down a towel and carefully climb on in ~ instantly the thing folds and I am trapped in it like a finger in a clam shell. What the? I carefully get out, adjust the settings and give it another go. Klang – I’m folded up in the stupid thing like yesterday’s burrito. Hubbs, leaving for golf, steps out to find me tangled up and sputtering. He gently asks if all is well? I smile, say nothing, and stomp past him with the folded chair over my shoulder and proceed to hoist it into the trash, stomp back, drag two patio chairs together and affix myself between them. He smiles and waves good-bye (smart man). Yesterday I went looking look for a replacement — well now that SCHOOL SUPPLIES are out …….. the 2-3 beach chairs left have been relegated to the back corner with the 50%-off garden supplies. It’s mid July. What happened?

the crappy one was like this but not as nice

4 ) They tend to come in cycles but lately there’s been an influx of annoying recorded spam phone calls to our house phone — “Hi! This is Tiffany from blah-blah-blah services” (insert the words travel, credit card, rewards, cruise ship where I had the words blah-blah-blah). I like to answer and, while the recording is going start talking gibberish. Calls end abruptly and my stress wanes. Highly recommend it. 🙂

5 ) We’re about to start a months-long project and with it comes weekly check-in calls ~ time to break out the Bingo card:

How about you? What have you shopped for lately that was suddenly “out of season?” Notice an influx of spam phone calls? Ever play conference call Bingo?

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Fun, Growth, Home, Humor, Quotes, Seasons, Self Discovery | Tags: annoying phone calls, Atticus, can't sleep, conference call bingo, defective products, folding beach chair, Hey Macarena, random thoughts, sleep, spam phone calls | 2 Comments

Summertime Sundays

Posted on July 9, 2017 by emjayandthem

Summertime Sundays often find me alone in the house ~ with good intentions but few accomplishments.

I wake when I wake, no alarms, just quiet.

The house is cool and calm .. Hubbs has slipped off to golf before my eyes ever opened. The woof-woof-woof of the sprinkler thumps in the background. He set it up “just so” with a note asking that I check on it and turn it off soon. I will and I do.

I pour a coffee and wander throughout the house, thinking about the day, the week, my life.

Laundry is done, leftovers are in the fridge and I have no particular place to be. My chair calls, I can feel the stack of books and magazines pulling me closer. My mind drifts to work – there’s a tiny inclination to turn on my company laptop and check to see which project is on fire today – but the inclination soon passes. Monday, and all the breathless anxiety it brings with it, will be here soon enough.

I’ve grown fiercely protective of weekends over the past few years — during the week, the days blend into night, calls and projects come in at any time, and boundaries are shrinking. Now I guard my Sundays like a child guards their money.

Sunday finds me cooking, reading, singing, blogging, resting, putzing, dreaming, talking and, most of all, living. And I’m getting really good at Introvert Bingo.

“SUNDAY – The day..I planned a lot but actually do nothing.”
― Lovely Goyal, I Love the Way You Love Me

How about you? Do you ever plan to do absolutely nothing? Have you found yourself wandering through the house, looking at your list of stuff to do, but doing none of them? How good are you at giving yourself a day off?

Categories: Attitude, Blogging, Determination, Family, Home, Joy, Life, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Relationships, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Wisdom, Women, Work, Writing | Tags: avoicing people, avoiding people, Books, give yourself a day off, good listener, guard my Sunday like a child guards his money, I love the way you love me, introvert bingo, letting phone calls go to voicemail, love of reading, Lovely Goyal, online shopping, peace, people make me tired, quiet, Reading, rest, staying home, stress, Sunday the day I planned a lot but actually do nothing, Sundays, thinking about thinking | 6 Comments

The New Normal

Posted on May 27, 2017 by emjayandthem

Somehow me – and some others – are still here. We’ve been impacted but not “touched” by “re-organizations,” “alignments” and “employee optimizations.” It gets challenging to do your work well when your wide range of contacts becomes more narrow.

Opening the office yesterday, balancing my lunch, coffee and backpack while punching in the alarm code, I took a moment to stand in the quiet and take this in. We’ve dropped from 28 to 7 in a matter of weeks. Department consolidations, moves, staffing changes. Some left, others moved, some took different positions within the company.

I’ve been traveling during most of these changes so I’m a bit late to the (non) party. It’s like I woke up from a dream and the horizon shifted.

The new normal is office doors open – everyone listens for the doorbell – not just the cube-dwellers. The cubes are empty.

The new normal is driving 7 miles to spend the whole day by myself. Yes I can work at home and I sometimes do but all of my files and materials are there. And I like having an office to go to – I can access everything easily – make copies, send a fax and conference someone in if need be.

The new normal is closing my office door for conference calls only to emerge and find everyone gone.

The new normal is – as expected – me and the other female employee – ensuring the coffee pot gets turned off, lights are shut down, and that we don’t run out of supplies.

The new normal is weird. I don’t care for the new normal.

I’ve been through many re-organizations ~ too many to count. What’s your experience been and how did you cope?

Categories: Faith, fear, Growth, Life, Personal, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Women, Work | Tags: change, downsizing, employee optimization, layoffs, moves, organizational stress, the new normal | 16 Comments

Random 5 – Mom looks, phone calls, traffic, forgetting and Pearls

Posted on May 17, 2017 by emjayandthem

We’re halfway through May ~ wow! I’ve been traveling so much that I was halfway through April when I realized my desk calendar said … March. And wouldn’t you know that, ever since my last post, I’ve been craving Penny Candy? 🙂

I’m not here as much anymore, sorry, but I do read your posts when I can, and I think about writing. I really do. I just … well … 10 & 12 hour work days + night meetings + copious travel and … yeah, you get it. Something’s gotta give … and this g-a-v-e.

But a few randoms caught my attention lately and I thought “those would be great for the blog” – so here we go. Random 5 on a .. gulp .. Wednesday.

(1) Mother’s Day was great – relaxing – joyful. The boys came and went, chats were had, hugs and presents were given. Didn’t need anything fancy – just them.

… and we laughed about the power that IS “the Mom look”

( 2 ) Is it just me or has there been an uptick in anonymous calls? Home, office and cell phone. Hey, pal, if you can’t even announce who you are, I’m not answering. This isn’t 1974 when no calls were ignored …!

( 3 ) My face. In traffic. Every day. Except I’m dressed.

( 4 ) Did this the other day — walked around looking for my glasses which were on my head. Geez Louise. Have you gone to the basement and walked around wondering why you were there? Came back up only to remember? Gah!

( 5 ) An Auntie shared this photo recently of Dad’s mother, Grandma Pearl. I get my naturally curly hair from her. She was a marvelous cook ~ her pan-fried burgers with sautéed onions were to die for ~ and her baking was out of this world. Sometimes she let me help – such a privilege! I had the good fortune (and prior planning – wink wink) to be over for a noontime visit she’d invite me to stay for lunch with her and Grandpa and, before lunch even started (translate feast) she’d hand me a plate and ask me to go pick out baking for dessert — in the basement she had a freezer full of baked treats – gingerbread cookies, short breads, “Aunt Mary’s cookies,” home-made donuts, tarts, bars and more. Any lucky grandchild carrying the plate could simply tip-toe down the gleaming white stairs to the baking freezer, crack open the lid and take our pick from the plethora of homemade goodness that lived there. Setting the selections aside as we enjoyed lunch together, the treats would quickly defrost. After lunch, Grandpa would dip spoonfuls of sugar into his coffee/cream, they’d quietly nibble their selections in the midst of the clatter my stories must have generated. When I see her face, I’m transported to the summers of my girlhood — pigtails, my pony tucked in the barn or a 10 speed right at the front door. I feel again what I’d always known to be true. Something they didn’t speak of, you had to be there to feel it. Loved.

This picture taken in 1923 ~ 94 years ago ❤️ Pearl was 19. Her only daughter passed away on Mother’s Day ~ hard for us but a gift to her. An Emjayandthem (C) Photo

What’s new in your world? Did your Mom have “the Mom look” down? What picture or fragrance transports you back to your Grand parents? Do tell!

Categories: Attitude, Blogging, Faith, Family, Friendship, Fun, Home, Humor, Joy, Life, Love, Opinion, Personal, Relationships, Self Discovery, Thoughts | Tags: anonymous calls, childhood, cookies, forgetting things, forgetting what you're doing while you're doing it, freezer, Grandma Pearl, homemade, love, love from grandparents, lunch with Grandparents, memories, Mother's Day, Random, random phone calls, solicitors, the Mom look, traffic | 12 Comments

Random 5 Friday

Posted on February 24, 2017 by emjayandthem

It’s Friday! It’s Random! Here we go:

1 ) Spring? Summer? Fall? Certainly not winter. We hit 70F this week and yep, you guessed it, snow’s coming back tomorrow. I think Mother Nature is going through ‘the change.’ Nothing is as usual – grass is green, bugs are out, things are growing – Bam! They’re going to be surprised when the next wallop of snow lands!

2 ) Lots of travel lately – I don’t mind because I am open to and enjoy the random interactions that occur. Example: between meetings in the capital city this week, I grabbed lunch at a little cafe. I noticed an older gentleman wearing what had to be his finest suit. He was decked out from coordinated socks to a beautiful tie to his exquisite hat – you don’t see hats much anymore. As I got up to pay my bill, I complimented him on his handsome hat – a wide grin broke out and we enjoyed a short chat – he was in town in meetings on behalf of a seniors care organization (similar to Meals on Wheels). He was polished, articulate and commanding; I can’t imagine anyone saying no to him. Well the company I work for has a program that seniors can benefit from – he has my card and I have a friend in Mr. William (Bill) Jones. You just never know where your path will take you; I’m glad mine took me to him.

3 ) Saw this the other day and it reminded me of my cousin and I – who does this remind you of? I need to send it to my sister, too – she’ll get it!

4 ) An Auntie has been dealing with a tough situation over the past few months – my offers to help have been politely declined. One day last week she contacted me and said “I need your help – I am at my wit’s end.” The back story is she’d been forced to place her (dementia-afflicted) husband in nursing home care – a decision that was very tough for her to do. The problem was the home he ended up being placed in was a) too far away, b) not not working for them and c) all efforts to move him closer were regularly thwarted by the (for-profit) center. As I told her, I don’t know anyone in this world, but I have many contacts and I’ll try. I spent the day on the phone, and by 4pm had his case over to the state regulatory bureau who investigates and licenses nursing homes. (Go big or Go home, my Mom would say!!) Uncle was moved the next morning, after months of attempts. The best part was that every (Government)office I called – and every person I spoke to – once they heard their story- they reacted as I had – with disbelief, anger and a sense of urgency. It buoyed us all to know that, when given the opportunity, strangers very happily did the right thing … and quickly. He’s closer, she’s happier, and being able to help her blessed me. 🙂

5 ) And with that, I’m off on my next road trip – but – I’ve timed it so I can meet a friend for lunch on the way back into town today. Life’s rolling by too quickly and it’s time to carve out some friends time, too.

“Yes, you see, there’s no such thing as coincidence. There are no accidents in life. Everything that happens is the result of a calculated move that leads us to where we are.”
― J.M. Darhower, Sempre: Redemption

What’s random in your world these days? Met anyone interesting?

Categories: Attitude, Blogging, Confidence at any age, Determination, Faith, Family, Friendship, Growth, Home, Life, Love, Mom, Personal, Quotes, Self Discovery | Tags: coincidence, everything happens for a reason, helping another, J.M. Darhower, meeting new people, Sempre: Redemption, snorts, there are no coincidences, travel, uncle, Veterans Home | 10 Comments

Random 5 January Friday

Posted on January 13, 2017 by emjayandthem

It’s Friday! Time for 5 Random brand-new-year thoughts!

1) Our January weather has been weird. -temps then + temps. Blizzards then thunderstorms. Lake effect snow then freezing rain then black ice then … warm weather and sunshine. I think Mother Nature is in menopause!

I can relate to Mother Nature!

2) Nearly every ad on TV of late is about weight loss – How Marie lost 50lbs on Nuke-your-System!! Oprah and her cookbook and her love of bread! There’s even a new prescription out (can’t recall the name) that promises to accelerate weight loss – the disclaimer states that it “may cause seizures, greasy bowels, rapid heart rate and other side effects.” Nice! Who wants to be slimmer but with greasy bowels and seizures? Yikes! I’ve been (largely) grain free since January 2016 and guess what – not only did I lose weight – I. Am. NEVER. Sick. In 2014 I had bronchitis 5 times; 2015 – 3 times. 2016? None. Zip. Nada. **As inflammation recedes the immune system can heal**. Also-my skin healed, joints don’t ache any more and did I mention I am never sick – despite heavy travel, copious amounts of work stress, public interaction, and being around co-workers with colds & the flu. I’ve lost 20 lbs and 16″. YES to no more Claritin, Mucinex, Tylenol Sinus, Neti Pot or inhaler needed! You don’t have to spend a bunch of money eating fake food or chugging down pills – you really can heal from the inside out. For more visit Cardiologist Dr. William Davis’ site, www.wheatbellyblog.com.

1 year Grain Free ~ An Emjayandthem (C) photo

3) Do you ever forget certain chores? I forget to vacuum. I don’t dislike it, I just forget about it – oops. What chore do you forget on a regular basis?

4) Saw this on FB and laughed out loud. Snaccident. I have never tried Nutella but I could hurt myself with Guacamole!

5) And with that … I’m off to get more coffee! Happy Friday, peeps!

What weight loss ad have you seen recently? Forget any chores of late? (Or on purpose? 🙂 ) Have you ever had a snaccident?

Categories: Attitude, Beauty, Family, Food, Forgiveness, Growth, Life, Personal, Recipes, Self Discovery, Thoughts | Tags: 10 day grain detox, chores, Claritin, coffee, diets, Dr. William Davis, grain-free, Inhaler, menopause, Mother Nature, Mucinex, Neti Pot, new year, Nutrisystem, random 5 Friday, snaccident, Tylenol Cold & flu, Weight Watchers, Wheat Belly, winter weather | 2 Comments

The road to 2017

Posted on December 27, 2016 by emjayandthem

The days between Christmas and New Years afford us an opportunity to reflect and address the state of our union. To take stock of our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual happiness.

As we look back and ahead we pause to ask:

What was my biggest lesson?

What do I want to learn next?

What do I want more of? Less of?

What makes me happy? Sad?

What do I want to experience?

What do I want to feel?

What/who do I need to forgive?

What do I need to let go?

What do I want to do? What am I willing to do?

What holds me back? Is it true?

What will your 2017 headline say?

As you look to the new year, will you celebrate your accomplishments and forgive your blunders? What excites you about 2017?

*Story idea: Frankie Perez’s MindGym

Categories: Attitude, Blogging, Confidence at any age, Determination, Faith, Forgiveness, Friendship, Gratitude, Growth, Holidays, Life, News, Opinion, Personal, Relationships, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Wisdom, Women, Work, Writing | Tags: changes, days between Christmas and New Years, experiences, feelings, forgiveness, growth, joy, lessons learned along the way, life lessons, mistakes, opportunities, opportunity, reflections on 2016, starting a new chapter, what was my biggest lesson | 7 Comments

Random 5 August Friday

Posted on August 12, 2016 by emjayandthem

It’s that time again! 5 Random thoughts in no particular order … here we go:

1 – For the past 2+ years a sticky note that says “Conf Call” has been stuck on my office door. I really should play “Conf Call Bingo.” I could have been a winner many times over!

2 – I doubt I’d ever get a tattoo. I don’t dislike them and I’m not bothered by others having them. I just can’t think of one single thing that I want etched into my skin … forever. Plus – what if it’s a really bad tattoo? Not like hair color, you can’t change it … you’re stuck with that. Thoughts?

3 – 8 months ago I eliminated grains. Within 6 weeks I lost 15 lbs (8.5 in the first 2) and 16+” ~ and ~ I’ve held it off despite my crazy work/travel schedule, moving, company reorganization, Mom’s passing, kid’s wedding, etc. Now that I’m through all that craziness I’m looking forward to life going back “to normal,” whatever that is. I am still eating my eggs, healthy fats, meats, veggies and berries. I’m packing my lunch and declining lunch dates; I prefer my fuel to anything a restaurant is serving. Talk about a shift change! Looking back and taking stock I lost:

inflammation,
skin rashes,
fretful sleep
wheezing (threw out my DUSTY inhaler),
joint pain,
chronic respiratory infections,
cold sores
red/puffy skin
low blood sugar shakes
lethargy

I gained:

a happy tummy,
clear skin (and frequent compliments!)
bright eyes,
shiny, bouncy hair,
energy & vitality
a defined jaw line & neck!
no blood sugar swings
pain-free joints,
restorative sleep and
the ability to soar through life’s challenges without cold sores!

Me – 8 mos – grain free. an Emjayandthem (C) photo

Want to know more? Visit Wheatbellyblog.

4 – Currently interviewing to fill an open position. Candidates who cut to the front of the line and contact me directly (circumventing the HR process)? Not cool. I don’t care who you know or how you got my info ~ back to the line you go!

5 – It’s Friday! We’re attending a family wedding tomorrow ~ yes we’ll go to the wedding ceremony and we’ll cry when we see the lovely bride peek around the corner. We’ll tear up when we see her Dad & Mom – Hubbs’ cousin – choke up at the sight of baby girl. They’ll see a tow-headed toddler; we’ll see a beautiful and accomplished young nurse. We’ll laugh and carry on with the aunts & uncles and cousins over drinks & appetizers at some bar we hit up before the reception starts. Later we’ll clink glasses and laugh and smile during the reception. I’ll wear something that twirls and my brown-eyed handsome man will take me for a spin on the dance floor. At home boxes still wait for us. Walls are still bare – not a picture in sight. Who cares? Not me. Life is meant to be … lived!

How about you? Ever played Conference Call Bingo? Will you get a tattoo? If so, what? Made any health changes lately? What do you think about line-cutters? And lastly, what’s on the docket for your weekend?

Happy Friday, peeps!

Categories: Beauty, Food, Life, Opinion, Personal, Politics, Relationships, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tags: better health, conference call bingo, cutting in line, Dr. William Davis, equal pay for equal work, grain-free, healthy-living, interviewing, no longer sick, reducing inflammation, sick of being sick, tattoo, Wheat Belly, Wheat Belly 10 day detox | 10 Comments

Margins, people and porcupines

Posted on June 2, 2016 by emjayandthem

I stunned a co-worker when I explained how I’d rid myself of the rat. See, after he ~~was pushed out of~~ left the company, he tried to get back in. He tried, more than once, to exert whatever authority he’d once had to weasel his way back. He tried but he failed.

Listening intently my friend asked, “Well how did you do it? What did you say?”

I simply shared that I had been honest and direct with no wiggle room for misinterpretation: I told the rat I didn’t want a relationship. With him. Then. Silence.

“You what?” my friend asked. “You heard that right. That’s what I said.”

Of course, being the narcissist that he is, the rat turned the table on me and became the victim. That’s what Narcissists do. Whatever. ~Yawn~.

You see, with certain people you cannot beat around the bush. As hard as may be to do you can’t be subtle. You will fail. You have to spell things out c-l-e-a-r-l-y so there’s no room for Wiley Coyotes to belly crawl back in.

Using the margins analogy, I referenced the wired ruler books we all used to carry in grade school. The center part, where the lines are, is where our work, family and obligations live. The margins represent our free time, our weekends, where dreams live. When my margins shrink I get very discerning about who takes up space there.

I used this example recently when someone recounted all of the past hurts another had caused her, over and over again. I heard the anguish in her voice, the frustration, the pain. Now I don’t know about you but when I rehash past traumas I rarely feel better; often, I feel worse. So I countered with how stepping away from toxic people has helped me heal. It didn’t change them, no, they’re as ornery as ever. But being absent from their negativity has changed me. It was in sharing my growth that I thought to give her this advice:

Now this little guy, Teddy Bear, is so cute eating (and commenting on) his treat. But I know better than to pet him.

You?

Whose personality comes to mind as you read this? How are your margins looking these days? What would you like to make room for?

*Thanks to DM for the margins reference. Love it!

Categories: Animals, Attitude, Determination, Faith, fear, Growth, Life, Life Lessons, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Relationships, Self Discovery, Useful Information | Tags: making room for joy, making room for yes, margins, saying no, Teddy Bear the talking porcupine loves pumpkins, toxic people | 11 Comments

Self Discovery

Random 5 Monday ~ Bourdain, Beaches and Ducks

Random 5 Sunday in March

The Road to Shambala

With the rain in Shambala

Wash away my sorrow, wash away my shame

With the rain in Shambala

Random 5 – Conference calls, folding chairs and Hey Macarena !

Summertime Sundays

“SUNDAY – The day..I planned a lot but actually do nothing.”
― Lovely Goyal, I Love the Way You Love Me

The New Normal

Random 5 – Mom looks, phone calls, traffic, forgetting and Pearls

Random 5 Friday

Random 5 January Friday

The road to 2017

*Story idea: Frankie Perez’s MindGym

Random 5 August Friday

Margins, people and porcupines

Peeps Poppin' in

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Self Discovery

With the rain in Shambala

Wash away my sorrow, wash away my shame

With the rain in Shambala

“SUNDAY – The day..I planned a lot but actually do nothing.” ― Lovely Goyal, I Love the Way You Love Me

*Story idea: Frankie Perez’s MindGym

Peeps Poppin' in

Follow Blog via Email

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“SUNDAY – The day..I planned a lot but actually do nothing.”
― Lovely Goyal, I Love the Way You Love Me