December 31, 2019 ~ I woke to a darkened house, blanketed in quiet from the snow swirling down. It’s New Year’s Eve ~ and here we are on the cusp of a new month, a new year, a new decade.
Just like that.
When asked my resolutions for 2020 and I answered quickly – it’s simple, really. All I have to do is look back at the past 11 days off, and therein lives my answer.
In 2020 I’ll try my best to recreate that ~
That feeling, as winter winds roar outside the windows and you lift your head up from reading for 4 hours straight, plowing through magazines and books without a care or a distraction, a deadline or a phone call.
That feeling, stretching and waking gently, without the glaring jolt of an alarm.
That feeling, when you listen to your body and move it a little more, haul the boxes and work up a sweat taking down and packing up and catch yourself smiling because it’s only 9:30 a.m. and you’ve been up for 3 hours already.
That feeling, between two major holidays, when you’re not sure which day it is – is it a work day? is it a week day? And you have to consult the calendar to confirm. And laugh about it.
That feeling when your sustenance consists of coffee, bacon, eggs, cheese, pickles and clementines.
Nope, no New Year/New You for me. Not this year. I’m gonna focus on finding more of that feeling denoted above.
Your turn:
How are you ringing in the new year?
Do you resolve to do things differently?
Do you want more of what you already have?
“When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. When life is bitter, say thank you and grow.” —Shauna Niequist
It’s only fitting that, on my very last day of 9 glorious days off, I’d wake to this:
12.1.19 First snow an Emjayandthem(C) photo
It was, by far, the best sleep of my entire week off … the house calm, dark and quiet.
A heavy quiet that only fresh snow can insulate us from a hurry-up / busy world. Cocooning from the noise around Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Leftovers, Holiday Travel, deadlines, to-Do lists. Z-z-z-z-z-z
September is rolling along ~ leaves are changing, and wild weather swings have taken us from summer to fall and back to fall again ~ Traveling as much as I do for my job I love to hunker down at home in my down time.
Confession alert: I have never loved shopping but I do love online shopping. 🙂
Something that’s making my life easier and more fun are subscriptions ~ I’ve recently signed up for these:
Stitch Fix is a personal styling service that sends individually picked clothing and accessories items for a one-time fee (the fee counts against any items you purchase). Customers fill out a survey online about their style preferences and how often they want to receive a box -then a stylist picks 5 items to send.
My take – items are well made & stylish; some items I didn’t love and they went back for free. The items I’ve kept I’ve worn over and over again.
Pricing can be higher than what I “think” I’d pay – i.e. jeans might start at $80 but I’d rather have 2 pairs of well-fitting $$ jeans I wear over an over again vs. 5 pairs of $50 jeans gathering dust in my closet.
It’s August already! Summer took forever to arrive and now it’s flying by .. “Back to School” supplies have been on store shelves since 4 seconds after the 4th. We’ll blink and Halloween will be here.
For me, the first half of the year flew by due to copious amounts of work travel, work schedule, work projects, work calls and … work.
One thing that’s saved me has been steadily indulging my passion: reading. I’m devouring books on planes and in hotel rooms; picking up more at bookstores in tiny towns as I pass through. I’ve lost count of the number read this summer … but it’s not about the number. It’s about the departure. Falling into a good book is like coming home.
Just finished. Delicious!
Recently I saw these words below and they resonated with me. Not just because I adore the fruits of summer … cherries, watermelon, and fresh peaches coming soon … but because, just like in life, we can’t feel our growth until the fruits begin to appear.
It’s nearly May and *gasp* I’ve hardly been here. As in, on the blog. I’ve driven to and been in meetings all over this state – an excess of 2,500 miles logged in the past 5 weeks. I’ve woken up and thought Monday was Saturday. I’ve wondered where I was – hotel or home? Too much, too much. I’m ready for some down time and soon. So, with that, I do believe it’s time for 5 Randoms from my world. You ready? Let’s go.
1 ) This room: I can feel myself, coffee in hand, meandering my way to that white patio chair ~ birds signing and me humming, you?
2 ) I accepted a last-minute speaking request Monday for an event on Wednesday. 150+ in the audience in a City I’ve never been with people I’d never before met. One had been in the audience for a presentation I’d given at a neighboring conference so that happenstance created the opportunity for this one ~ Motoring there, tunes up, I remembered this quote:
“Great things never came from comfort zones.” …
And I smiled at how much I welcomed the “break” in my ‘routine.’
3 ) Miss Kitty Kitters (neighborhood cat) visited us earlier in the week ~ Spring’s arrival means she moseys by and stops in for a pet or five. I don’t know where winter holds her, but she sure is happy to be out walking the her beat again.
She looks like this and is even cuter!
4 ) Something I’ve noticed working 5 days a week – office or home – I tend to eat on schedule. And sometimes, I think I eat because it’s time to, not b/c I’m hungry. ( It’s that old fear of low blood sugar shakes returning that causes me to do this, I know.) On weekends, I’m up early – between 6 and 7am – but I don’t eat until ~1pm… I mosey through the house, straightening this, cleaning that, and sipping coffee all the while. I eat around 1 and again at 6 or 7pm & then I am done for the night. And I’m just fine, not starving. Not one bit.
An epiphany — I’ve been “Intermittent Fasting” without even realizing it – this. is. how. my. body. prefers. things. to. be. A light bulb went on – I’m gonna give IF a go during the work week, too — for more info on the benefits of Intermittent Fasting (eating in a window only), read Gin Stephens’ “Delay Don’t Deny”– reading now .. and yeah, wow!
Most of a fast happens when you are asleep … hence break-fast
5 ) At a meeting several weeks ago a seemingly mild-mannered individual suddenly turned. Red-faced and angry, he snarled, looking for a fight. I didn’t take the bait. In that moment, I remembered these words, and I might have even said them out loud, I’m not sure. See I get angry, too, and I refuse to be bullied or talked over. The meeting soon ended, he’s likely still angry and Jimmy Cracked Corn!
We’re already into mid-January it occurred to me this morning that I haven’t blogged since last year!
Gulp. Life comes at us fast, especially in the new year.
2019 came at me like ..
Holidays ended, work resumed, and tripled in intensity. It’s been a steady dose of crazy since, with not much room or time to breathe. Early mornings, long days, lots of travel and copious conference calls. Thankfully, a solid winter storm blew in this weekend, encapsulating us in icy roads, fresh snow, with a fridge full of leftovers and no particular place to be.
Darn.
That brings me to today ~ awake at 6:30 I hit tossed in a load of laundry, padded through the house and caught up on your blogs.
Random observations came my way and they include:
1 ) Have you heard of the “Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up“ book and movement afoot? Based on her best-selling guide to de-cluttering your home, and soon-to-be TV series, Marie Kondo espouses the virtues of sorting through everything – and I mean – everything to determine “what sparks joy.” If it doesn’t, it goes. Now I am very familiar with the term “you can’t organize clutter” so I purge/donate/recycle on a regular basis. Her advice is to start small, say with 1 drawer, and go through every piece that’s in it … I started with my sock drawer and found it can’t be opened all the way … probably because of the preponderance of black dress socks. ~ Sigh. I laughed, and set my sights in another direction. If you’ve tried this approach and it’s helped you, do tell!
2 ) Last night I had every intention of delving into several new books; I’ve got a stack waiting for me, purchased with Christmas gift cards ~ my favorite. Instead I read women’s magazines, binge-watched “Shark Tank,” laughed with hubby and chatted with my cousin. Regardless, doing nothing and lots of it, was great therapy. PS My favorite “Shark Tank” product so far has been this one ~ an amazing cleaning do-dadd that really does work:
3 ) Growing up in bright & sunny western Canada (Saskatchewan) I took our daily sunlight for granted. Yes winters were cold and windy but, for the most part, ALWAYS sunny. Sunglasses and Sunblock are a necessity year round– now I live in Western Michigan, and because of our proximity to Lake Michigan (and lots of winter cloud cover) our winters are regularly dreary, dark and long. I really struggle with lack of sunlight.
Update on my previous product review: I cannot say enough good things about the Verilux Happy Light – AMAZING! In just 2 weeks of using it I cut my total coffee consumption in 1/2 and caffeine dosage from full throttle “Farmer’s coffee” to decaf by using this amazing little light. Sitting near it first thing in the morning helps reset your circadian rhythm & will help you sleep (instead of lying in bed making 3AM “to-do” lists like I used to).
Caution: Do NOT use at night, you will be up for 1/2 of it, oops.
I started out small, at 7-10 mins. a day, and have worked my way up to 30 mins. daily. If YOU also slog through the dark days of winter, give the HappyLight Compact ($40 on Amazon) a try. The. Best. $40. Ever. Spent! 🙂
4 ) Long-time blog readers, family and friends know I enjoy technology and gadgets. But after our son told me how their “Alexa” interjected into their conversation, more than once, I firmly advised him to “never buy me one.” My cell phone does enough eavesdropping as it is. This Meme is about right, ha!
5 ) And, as much as technology makes our lives easier, and sometimes even healthier, there’s always going to be something about a real book that draws me in … and so does this picture:
So there was this presentation at a recent conference that I keep thinking about: a presentation on the challenges different generations within one organization face: challenges communicating, differing expectations, sharing of feedback, work styles, and more.
Background – My employer has undergone tremendous growth over the past couple of years – with so many coming, and even more going. And when employees leave, we don’t know they’re gone until their emails go unanswered or, worse yet, names disappear from the employee directory.
Change can be good. But it can also be unsettling.
It’s odd being the last one standing from the original team.
Some retired, some fired, others left on their own.
I’m the keeper of a history no one cares to know about, until they need it. And explaining it over and over again is exhausting. I’ve had four bosses in two years ~ my head’s spinning.
At 55 I’m now the oldest employee in the office; it’s to me whom others come to for advice, counsel and direction. 50% of our workforce is under the age of 37.
Those of us with 20 to 30 years of experience are in the minority; even more rare are employees like me who’ve only had two to three employers our entire career. The new normal is 5-8 employers by age 35.
A 60 minute conference call can start with 15 minutes of praising and fawning over the leader. I’m embarrassed by a the clamoring, gushing and kissing of the ring. Blah.
My generation, the baby boomers, had many candidates competing for each job, every opportunity, every advancement. We signed up, showed up, and kept up. We got it done.
We wrote and adhered to policy, learned by trial and by fire, came in early, worked through lunch, and stayed late. We respected authority and boundaries and did our best to manage and succeed through the pace and the stress.
“Work/life” balance, what’s that? “Purpose over paycheck?” Huh?
Boomers stayed loyal to our employers, believing that, over time our hard work and dedication would be rewarded. And sometimes it was. But, just as often, it wasn’t.
Now we find ourselves working with much younger colleagues ~ Generation “X”ers, and Millennials.
Lest I sound too negative let me make it clear many are smart, creative and witty. They’re accomplished, hard-charging, bright and capable.
However this is a group who seems to be always “on,” consistently paying half-attention while multitasking, and who don’t regularly slow down long enough take a breath, ask questions or listen for the answer. Some skip greetings, salutations, punctuation and sentence structure. I’ve had bosses who text at all hours of the day and night, and colleagues rattling off stats on whatever personal milestone, habit or TV series they’re binge-watching now, like doing so is an accomplishment. Co-workers who steadily are “plugged in,” and constantly seeking reassurance, admiration, affirmations are exhausting.
I know some view Boomers like me as rigid and set-in-our-ways. But with our consistency comes depth of experience, too. I know I’m not alone in wondering how this is all going to play out.
~But ~
Something positive that may come of this is that a new workforce who demands a better work environment, a positive office culture, robust perks and equal pay is sure to benefit all of us.
Related:
This organizationdefines millennials as the generation aged 21 to 36 in 2017.
In 2017, 56 million millennials were working or looking for a job — outnumbering 53 million Gen Xers, who made up 33% of the labor force, and 41 million Baby Boomers, who accounted for 25% of the total.
I remember being surprised at being invited to that executive’s retirement party given we’d hardly interacted. I was around 27 and, looking back, a bit naive.
The night of the party, one of the (ancient) executive’s pals, in his toast to the retiree, joked about inviting “pretty girls like __(me)__ so we all have something nice to look at.” Their wives looked horrified and sad, most men chuckled, and I can still feel the rage at being reduced to “something.”
I know and have loved many wonderful men – decent, kind and gentle men. I’m fortunate I can easily rattle off a long list including Grandfathers, Great Uncles, Dad and his brothers, my husband and our sons. But I also have known – and had to work with – creeps. And, in my experience, the creeps spoil the well for the good men.
Now, as a Grandmother, my Spidey senses are on FIRE whenever I’m out with our grandkids – both grandSON and grandDAUGHTER — I watch them like a hawk even though they aren’t “babies” any more. I’m hyper-aware of everyone around us; if one asks to go off to another aisle to “see just one thing” we all go; it’s not up for discussion.
I’ve talked with the grands about good people and bad people, about trusting their instincts,and if someone makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe to tell any of us, and that they will never be in trouble for doing so. I worry about Social Media and creepy perverts who lurk in shadows everywhere. But, as many of us know, creepy perverts were in our churches, schools, and communities long before Facebook or SnapChat ever existed.
I made a quick list of how experiences with creepy men has impacted how I live; the list wrote itself in minutes.
I never walk, shop for groceries or stop for gas in the dark.
I prefer to exercise in the house vs. in the neighborhood.
I wear a cross body purse, always and my cell phone remains charged and accessible, even at home.
I check the back seat of any vehicle before getting in, anywhere and in every light.
I rarely venture away from the hotel when traveling for business ~ Company (male) colleagues like to walk to restaurants for group events (because they never have to think about lists likethis!). I prefer to take a taxi but will walk in a larger (mixed) group.
All windows and doors are locked ~ if I find myself alone at the office (very off-putting) I take the cell phone with me to the copier or the restroom.
On business trips /outings I stick to water or (sometimes) order a cocktail I don’t like and sip it; whatever I have goes with me to the ladies’ room.
It’s Hubby’s deep voice on the answering machine.
I’m not thin anymore; extra weight has lessened the burden of unwanted attention.
I never use parking garages, valet where possible and expense it, and offer no explanations or apologies.
I don’t get on elevators with men, not even one.
I limit fluids during road trips which limits stops, and never use highway rest areas; Fast food restaurants only.
At company functions I employ the “Irish Good-bye” – excuse myself and don’t come back.
Your turn:
Can you relate to this post?
How have your experiences impacted the way you navigate your day-to-day life?
Any tips or thoughts to add?
“Men often ask me, Why are your female characters so paranoid? It’s not paranoia. It’s recognition of their situation.”— Margaret Atwood, author of “The Handmaid’s Tale”
September brings many changes, not the least of which is the arrival of Fall colors. But even more exciting, here in my neck of the woods, is the arrival of two important happenings: crystal clear blue skies and low(er) humidity. Ahh ~ bring on happy smiling skies, outside walks, Breck-girl hair and comfortable sleeps.
Every year I declare Fall as my favorite season: The colors, the smells, the tastes – yep – it’s my favorite. It’s the one season I missed more than any other when we lived down south. In Texas, the seasons were: hot, hotter, surface-of-the sun hot, and slightly less hot. I loved many things about living in Texas but always, always I longed for Fall.
“Autumn…the year’s last, loveliest smile.” [Indian Summer]” ― John Howard Bryant
Sometimes I sleep in on the weekends ~ I still wake early and usually I get up. But sometimes, like today, I do “tuck and roll” if only for a little while. I did so today, and with great delight, dreamed of Mom. I was back in her farm kitchen and she was teaching me how to make bread. I was an impatient teen, not paying as close of attention as I should have. She had something to teach me and I listened. But not well. When I awoke, the dream felt like a visit. And even though I don’t bake or eat bread now, perhaps the lesson was in the listening.
“No one who cooks, cooks alone. Even at her most solitary, a cook in the kitchen is surrounded by generations of cooks past, the advice and menus of cooks present, the wisdom of cookbook writers.” ― Laurie Colwin
I’ve been catching up on past episodes of Anthony Bourdain’s “Parts Unknown.” ~Sigh. I’m late to his party. He was such a scamp, so much fun, with that wicked smile and sense of humour/adventure. If only he’d known it.
“I think preparing food and feeding people brings nourishment not only to our bodies but to our spirits. Feeding people is a way of loving them, in the same way that feeding ourselves is a way of honoring our own createdness and fragility.” ― Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way
It’s Monday and it’s time for some random thoughts from the ever-swirling mind of yours truly. Ready? No. Well get set, let’s go!
1 ) Still reeling over the loss of Anthony Bourdain. I’m not even a foodie. And I wanted to be one … watching him. I wanted to walk into his kitchen, sit at his table, have him flirt outrageously with me, tell a clever joke and have him lean in for the punch line. Young, middle-aged, older – there was something about him that drew us in. And kept us there. This blogger sums up our loss beautifully – https://atypical60.com/2018/06/09/the-anthony-bourdain-i-knew/ #LOSS.
2 ) Last week I took a couple of days off ~ I was, once again, up against the deadline. Time to use vacation days. Darn. Thursday I packed tea, sunblock, my books and a beach chair and drove myself to Lake Michigan. A place where stress does not thrive. I read for hours, enjoyed other people’s children, watched a wedding, dug my toes in the sand and came home with beach hair & freckles. And yes, I aim to repeat this many times over the summer. #SUMMERGOALS.
~~~ ahhh ~~~ An Emjayandthem(C) Photo
3 ) The days are longer now that summer is officially here. Celebrating my birthday I reflected on changes. Much much stays the same ~ the work load, schedule, and expectations. But I’ve changed – I’m a bit easier on myself than I used to be. I’ve said “no” to others so I can say “yes” to me. I’ve slowed down. I’ve leaned in. I’ve savored. There’s a shift and I like it. #SELF-CARE
4 ) Something I’ve realized – getting older – is that I’m a lot like Mom: I don’t mind time alone, I crave it. I get a little bit cranky with too many people and too much noise. Yes I enjoy good conversation, music and such but I can – and will – easily spend days by myself. A few nights back I imagined taking a week off and never leaving the house. I found myself day-dreaming of how that would go:
Sleep
Read
Putter outside
Read
Write
Chat on the phone / visit with Hubbs
Sing/dance to music
Read
Putter outside
Read
Exercise/stretch
Sleep
I even had a fantasy food list ready. It came to me immediately and goes something like this:
Strong coffee with cream
Grilled anything & Fresh veggies
Strawberries and watermelon
Iced Tea
Bacon & eggs
Fajitas
Avocados
Chinese Coleslaw
Margaritas and Fresh Limes
I realized that this exercise was really me manifesting my summer “wish list.” Yep, time to book more days off. #SUMMERGOALS
5 ) Saw two ducks on my walk earlier tonight … made me think of this:
#CORNYJOKESMAKEMELAUGH
~~~~~~~
Your turn:
Did a celebrity death ever leave you reeling? (recent or not)
It’s a sunny Sunday and time for 5 Random thoughts.
1 Looking up from my desk Friday, I noticed both wall Calendars set to February. It’s March and then some.
The bad news is that time flies. The good news is that you’re the Pilot. ~ Michael Altshuler
2 Signs of Spring are everywhere; snow and wind one day, sunshine & smiles the next. Birds and squirrels cover the yard. Snow clings to the fence. Easter in 2 weeks.
Springtime is the land awakening; The March winds are the morning yawn. ~ Lewis Grizzard
3 Week 2 of a personal cell so I can turn off the work one. Habits take practice and I’m enjoying practicing.
Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others. ~ Brene Brown
4 Stretch. Read. Rest. Repeat.
Take rest. A field that has rested gives a bountiful crop. ~Ovid
5 Last week I gave away something I didn’t use but another could benefit from. Yesterday I cooked a meal for someone who needed it. The rewards outweigh the effort.
The best way to do good for ourselves is to be doing good to others; the best way to gather is to scatter. ~Thomas Brooks
Shifting horizons, adjusting boundaries and adding in self-care = peace.
I’m heading into the holiday season with the last of my scheduled corporate travel behind me now – Yippy Skippy! I’ve not had much free time so this blog has lagged but I still think about writing, just as I think about many other things on my “to-do” list.
Epiphanies that took place this week include:
1 ) Music is therapy. Road trips are better with handsome men singing harmony. 🙂 And hearing this song took me back tomy summer trip with my sisterand a concert we enjoyed featuring the music of Three Dog Night. Front row seats – great music – and stellar company was simply awesome. No matter what I’m thinking about, when a good song comes on I just have to crank it up and sing along.
2 ) Decisions that continue to bear fruit – ahead of one of my many trips, I sent a note to a group of girlfriends I’d met ata workshop in May of 2015~ vibrant, intelligent, wonderful women. Several quickly responded that – yes – they’d love to meet for lunch this past Friday! As the date drew near a few had to drop out but still 3 of us met — we enjoyed delicious food, the camaraderie that comes from being around others who “get us” and laughs galore. We shared our hopes, our dreams, and our plans. We encouraged each other. Boy, what one hour of positive company can do for you!
3 ) GPS boondoggles are often just what’s needed – when the system takes me off the beaten path and down a country road, I often am grateful for the diversion. I am not sure exactly where I was when I snapped this picture but that’s the point. Friends commented “but what if you’d had car trouble?” and my thought was “what a better place to be if I did.” – Surrounded by fields and farms and trucks driving down those roads – all drivers waved. Me – tunes on, windows cracked, smiling wide.
Snow’s a-coming. Somewhere in MI; and Emjandthem (C) photo
