Posts Tagged With: adapting

When the soul weeps

I still miss her.

Mom.

This July will be 3 years.

She would not want this, she’d chide me, give me sh*t and push me to “get on with it, for Heavens sake.”

She’d even snort once or twice.

She in her cat-eye glasses and pedal pushers.

She.

All 100 lbs of her.

I miss her.

I long for our conversations.

I suppose I always will.

The depth. The breadth. The range.

The absurd, the large, the small, the swing of it all.

I see her face in little old ladies faces at the grocery story, except they don’t carry a red purse or possess the spunk she did.

You know what I miss most?  Our friendship.

How lucky was I?

I know I should just “deal” and be grateful, and I am.

But her name was Gay, and she epitomized the word fierce.

Mom on Buck, an Emjayandthem (C) photo

And I miss her.

 

“The worst type of crying wasn’t the kind everyone could see–the wailing on street corners, the tearing at clothes. No, the worst kind happened when your soul wept and no matter what you did, there was no way to comfort it. A section withered and became a scar on the part of your soul that survived. For people like me and Echo, our souls contained more scar tissue than life.”
Katie McGarry, Pushing the Limits

 

Who are you missing tonight?

Categories: Beauty, Determination, Family, Grief, Home, Love, Mom, Personal, Quotes, Thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Love is time

I don’t know about you but I like a schedule.  A schedule gives me comfort and a steadiness of knowing what to expect. Monday-Friday you’ll find me consumed with work obligations; weekday evenings are devoted to time outside, reading or workouts. Early to bed, early to rise.  And by the time the weekend arrives, I tend to follow the same pattern over and over again.

  1. Friday night – no cooking for me; we enjoy an easy take-out dinner and time together to talk and catch up.
  2. Saturday finds me reading blogs, sipping coffee, doing laundry and completing a grocery run. All of this is done before mid-morning; afternoons I’m in the pool before readying for date night with Hubbs.
  3. Sunday – I cook at least two meals for the week, take a walk, read books and blogs, enjoy the pool or a nap, and chat on the phone with Mom and my cousin.

If I switch out just one part of the routine I find myself out of sorts.

Case in point: yesterday, the boys went golfing so I spent the day with the Grands and oldest boy’s fiance.  It was great! We enjoyed the “Minions” movie, perused every inch of the toy aisle, played in the pool and devoured a picnic lunch on the deck.   I appreciated the time I got with her and when littlest one took her hand or our grandson excitedly showed her his new Yu-gi-oh cards, my heart swelled.  I liked that she was comfortable with us but I loved that the kids were comfortable with her.

step-parenting

Going back to my routine, none of my “regularly scheduled” Saturday programming took place.  I found myself out of sorts when I woke this morning but then I reflected on all that yesterday was and couldn’t help but smile. If my biggest challenge today is to shorten my coffee-sipping and blog reading times, speed up the grocery run and cook one meal, not two, that’s just fine.    Why?  Because I’ve found the best way to show your love is to happily give someone your time.

 

“The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now.”  ― Rick Warren

 

Can you relate to this?  Are you a schedule follower?  If you deviate from your schedule how does it affect you? Do you resent it or lean into it – and, does it depend for whom you deviate?

Categories: Attitude, Beauty, Family, Growth, Home, Life Lessons, Love, Personal, Quotes, Relationships, Romance, Self Discovery | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

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