Maybe it happened when you had good news to share: an opportunity to talk about or the scale moving in the direction you wanted it to.
Like me, when those moments happen, you want to share them with others – friends and family – and instead, well instead sometimes you found excitement squelched by * crickets *.
But how much time have you spent dwelling on the approval you never got? May never get?
How many times has the stark silence of someone’s resistance dampened the high fives that rolled in … from others?
For me, it’s happened more than I’d like to admit.
You see, as much as I have tried to grow it up and suck it up and push all that stuff aside, it still irks me when I catch myself doing it. When I realize how much weight I’ve allowed their actions to have.
Is it a control thing? Is it true that when we allow what someone says or does to upset us, we are really just allowing them to control us?
I don’t think that’s it. I think it goes deeper.
I think it goes back to the little child living in each of us. The one who just wants to be heard.
The one who wants to be relevant, charming, witty and smart. Who wants to be valued, admired, celebrated and loved. Who wants to be invited back to the big kids table. Who wants never to be turned away.
I’ve come to realize I might never all the connections I long for but I’ll always have me and that’s a relationship worth cultivating. It’s probably time to snap some strings while I’m at it.
emjayandthem in grade one
Will you join me?
Whose approval are you waiting for?
* * *
“I know what it’s like. I’ve seen it played out a zillion times. You’re waiting for that magical day when someone makes the connection and recognizes who you really are. Maybe they’ll first catch the sparkle in your eye. Or perhaps they’ll marvel at your insights and the depth of your spirit. Someone who will help you connect the dots, believe in yourself, and make sense of it all. Someone who will understand you, approve of you, and unhesitatingly give you a leg up so that life can pluck your ready, ripened self from the branch of magnificence. Well, I’m here to tell you, your wait is over. That someone, is you.” – Mike Dooley