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Posts Tagged With: assault

Jet-Skis, Bullies and Towanda

I was so looking forward to this day: a gathering at a friends’ lake house.  A day of sunshine, water, good eats, laughter, camaraderie  & pontoon rides.  A day of good tunes, easy conversations, jet skis, sunblock and beach hair.

Like I do, I carefully planned the foods I’d bring, deciding on a fresh peach/blueberry cobbler & an appetizer dip.    Hubbs and I eagerly anticipated the day, the forecast was perfect for a country ride “up” to the lake house, and the camaraderie we were soon to experience.

Arriving just after 1pm we set down the coolers and arranged chairs;  food covered their kitchen counter and friends hugged hello, gathering around the patio table.  Classic 70s rock playing in the background, a waterfall trickled softly and we savored the summer breeze off the lake.

Soon the Hostess asked if I was up for a ride on her “new” jet ski, the high powered one gleaming in the distance.  “You bet,” I answered but “let’s visit first.” And so we did.   When I offered how I didn’t bring my swimsuit and just had a tee shirt & shorts she promised, “I won’t get you wet.”  And I know she knows what she’s doing .. so I went with it.

As we strapped on life vests and headed to the dock, another couple joined the party – so soon came more greetings before climbing onto the Sea-do.   Heading to the open water, with my pal driving and me holding  tight, we navigated smaller waves until a time she could “open it up” – flying now – fast and tight, my hair whipping behind me, I caught a glimpse at the speedometer: 57mph.  Shrieking, we leaned into a turn, jumped the wake left by a puttering pontoon boat, both of us rocketing forward and laughing our heads off.   Hanging on,  fully exhilarated, truly living.

Having an “it-doesn’t-get-better-than-this-moment,” and then some. 😀

Life is too short to sit on the shore!

We circled a few times then made our way back to the dock where friends gathered, men on the deck, ladies on chairs in the shallow water, waves lapping their calves.   Coasting into shore, I commented on how good of a driver my friend is, and thanked her that I did not have one drop of water on me, amazing!   We hopped off and waded  towards shore, where the women gathered.   With everyone watching, one gal commented “you went all that way and didn’t even get wet” and I nodded and smiled, about to compliment my friend on her excellent command of the machine.  But before I could do so, that same woman reached down and, with both hands, doused me in water, from head to toe.  Water soaked my hair, dripped down my sunglasses and face, top, shorts and underwear now completely drenched, with rivulets of water running down my legs.  I stood there in shocked disbelief, having my own “Carrie” moment, trying to come to terms with what just happened.

What. The. ???    What’s wrong with you?

Stephen King’s 1970’s Horror classic, “Carrie”

Looking back, there’s a part of me that almost did what I’d always done: “take the high road” “turn the other cheek” and all that other passive bullsh*t I’d been preached to my whole life. The same words that always translated to just lie down, be quiet and take it.

And I might have done that until I saw another so-called friend laughing.

And that was it. That was the tipping point.

Shaking water off my sunglasses while simultaneously wiping it from my eyes I looked around at those who looked away, said nothing, and the splasher and that one “friend” laughing.

All at my expense.  Nice.

I’m 5’2″ and the splasher well she’s 3 years younger and 4″ taller.

But it only took an second – I lunged at her with both hands, knocking her off her feet.

I’m petty sure she got air before landing in that lake sideways with a thud.   Sputtering she got up yelling, flailing  and swearing …. “I thought you were a nice girl” and my response was this, “I am. You started it.  Want some more?”

Women backed off, clucked, fussed and did nothing.

Someone said “this feels like High School” and I answered “YEP it sure does,  I hope you all remember who started it.  Just keep it up and I’ll finish it!”

  • I probably should feel remorse …. but I don’t.
  • I probably should be embarrassed …. but I’m not.
  • I hit her with everything I’ve got and then some. And I’d do it again.

#Sorrynotsorry

Maybe when bullies decide they’re going to pick someone’s hide, they should consider who they’re picking: in my case, she picked a 50-something woman who’s had enough of immature jerks and is no longer going to lie down and take it.

And I have better insurance, too.

 

Gotta love me some TOWANDA!

Your turn:

  • When’s the last time you dealt with a bully?
    • What did you do?
  • In the situation described above, what would you have done if you were me?
    • Why?
  • If you ever retaliated against someone’s nastiness, how did leave you feeling?
    • I don’t feel great about it, but I don’t feel bad, either.  😀

 

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Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Determination, Faith, Growth, Life Lessons, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Lists in the face

I remember being surprised at being invited to that executive’s retirement party given we’d hardly interacted.  I was around 27 and, looking back, a bit naive.

The night of the party, one of the (ancient) executive’s pals, in his toast to the retiree, joked about inviting “pretty girls like __(me)__ so we all have something nice to look at.” Their wives looked horrified and sad, most men chuckled, and I can still feel the rage at being reduced to “something.”

I know and have loved many wonderful men – decent, kind and gentle men.  I’m fortunate I can easily rattle off a long list including Grandfathers,  Great Uncles, Dad and his brothers, my husband and our sons. But I also have known – and had to work with – creeps.  And, in my experience, the creeps spoil the well for the good men.

Now, as a Grandmother, my Spidey senses are on FIRE whenever I’m out with our grandkids – both grandSON and grandDAUGHTER — I watch them like a hawk even though they aren’t “babies” any more.    I’m hyper-aware of everyone around us; if one asks to go off to another aisle to “see just one thing” we all go; it’s not up for discussion.

I’ve talked with the grands about good people and bad people, about trusting their instincts, and if someone makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe to tell any of us, and that they will never be in trouble for doing so.  I worry about Social Media and creepy perverts who lurk in shadows everywhere.  But, as many of us know, creepy perverts were in our churches, schools, and communities long before Facebook or SnapChat ever existed.

I made a quick list of how experiences with creepy men has impacted how I live; the list wrote itself in minutes.

  • I stay alert and pay attention to surroundings; if someone feels “off” I get away from them.
  • I never walk, shop for groceries or stop for gas in the dark.
  • I prefer to exercise in the house vs. in the neighborhood.
  • I wear a cross body purse, always and my cell phone remains charged and accessible, even at home.
  • I check the back seat of any vehicle before getting in, anywhere and in every light.
  • I rarely venture away from the hotel when traveling for business ~ Company (male) colleagues like to walk to restaurants for group events (because they never have to think about lists like this!). I prefer to take a taxi but will walk in a larger (mixed) group.
  • I never sleep on flights.
  • All windows and doors are locked  ~ if I find myself alone at the office (very off-putting) I take the cell phone with me to the copier or the restroom.
  • On business trips /outings I stick to water or (sometimes) order a cocktail I don’t like and sip it; whatever I have goes with me to the ladies’ room.
  • It’s Hubby’s deep voice on the answering machine.
  • I’m not thin anymore;  extra weight has lessened the burden of unwanted attention.
  • I never use parking garages,  valet where possible and expense it, and offer no explanations or apologies.
  • I don’t get on elevators with men, not even one.
  • I limit fluids during road trips which limits stops, and never use highway rest areas; Fast food restaurants only.
  • At company functions I employ the Irish Good-bye – excuse myself and don’t come back.

Your turn:

  • Can you relate to this post?
  • How have your experiences impacted the way you navigate your day-to-day life?
    • Any tips or thoughts to add?

 

“Men often ask me, Why are your female characters so paranoid? It’s not paranoia. It’s recognition of their situation.” — Margaret Atwood, author of “The Handmaid’s Tale”

 

 

Categories: Attitude, Determination, Faith, fear, Grief, Growth, Life, Life Lessons, News, Opinion, Personal, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Travel, Useful Information, Work | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

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Atypical 60

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A New Day Dawns

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Virginia Views

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Renee Johnson Writes

Novelist, Traveler, and More

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Nancy Roman

She's A Maineiac

just another plaid-wearin' java-sippin' girl

The View Out Here

A view in pictures, from me to you

I also live on a farm

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Wordsmith's Desk

some thoughts along the way

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

music, poetry, musings, photography and philosophy from a woman who found her way back home and wants you to come over for a hike and a cocktail.

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Stop in and see what's happening during these days of mine

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