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Posts Tagged With: breast cancer

Random 5 … Wednesday: Fans, Joy and Margaritas

I’ve been traveling a lot this month – and packing – so not much time for blogging these days. Here’s my Random 5 on a random day .. Wednesday! 🙂

1 Hubbs and I spent 3 hours in a Home Improvement Store recently. 3 Hours.  3 hours, picking out mirrors and door pulls, knobs and faucets. Somehow our marriage survived and as we unloaded stuff into his car we laughed when we realized we forgot some of the 60+ things on our list.  He ran back in with a (shortened) list while I waited in the car.  Unloading at our new-to-us house later we laughed again … it was then we realized there were still more things we’d forgotten. The excitement of new paint and faucets made the confusion worth it.

Hubbs changed a light bulb this week. He's my hero! :) google.images.com

Hubbs changed a light bulb this week. He’s my hero! 🙂 google.images.com

2 Last week’s travels took me to the Ann Arbor area; I remembered Hubbs’ H.S. friend lives there with his wife.  He and I met once, at their H.S. reunion, but I’d never met her. Somehow I knew we’d hit it off.  I knew we’d make a great connection – and we did.  We met for lunch and us two Geminis may have dominated the conversation.  🙂  So funny that our hubbies are both Virgos!    I continue to say YES to new experiences and new people; doing so has sparked great joy.   Cynthia, a dynamic and engaging Leadership Speaker/Trainer/Motivator/Searcher of Joy, also blogs – read her take on the experience here.

does this spark joy

3 Oldest boy is getting married in a month; I’ve been so consumed by work, travel, house stuff, sorting, packing, tossing, etc. that I haven’t had time to think about a dress.  Yesterday I knew it was time.  The journey through Department stores must have resembled the flight of the bumble bee but eventually I found a dress I loved.  My criteria are these: it must: 1) fit, 2) flatter, 3) move and 4) allow me to dance.  This one hit all four 🙂  The store was warm and it was a humid day and, after trying on 50+ dresses, I could feel myself start to heat up. Standing in line at the checkout counter I put my readers up on top of my head. When it came time to read my bill I found my readers had steamed up.  Welcome to Menopause – Nature’s way of telling you you’re hot, just not in the way you used to be!

I could live without heat but never this!

4. Speaking of hot, had to laugh at this memory:  in college I shared a house with several girls. I had a spot in the basement which was perfect for me because I worked two jobs and went to school full-time – I slept in 4 hour increments and that basement was cool and dark.  Ahh.  But this – this hung over the washer and dryer:

Hello!

Hello!

5   Last fall I had a small health scare (for more read Angel Kisses) so, this Spring, I did all the necessary follow-ups.  Well whatever they’d seen last fall was still there so new tests were ordered.  Except that the new test was not one I was willing to take ~ it involved an inject-able dye that I am highly allergic to.  Two – count ’em – two doctors tried to talk me into it.  Nope, not doing it.  “But we can give you steroids first to counteract any reaction you may have; the chances of a reaction are small..” Nope, not doing it, already had a reaction once, chances are I will again, find something else.  Finally a third doctor saw the logic in my thinking and agreed.  She ordered a biopsy which I did Monday.   Everything’s OK, thank God, but while lying on the table at the Cancer center (like that’s not daunting enough!!) I commented that we don’t need that pretty country scene to stare at … we need some hot men.  The nurses snorted when I suggested Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid but I think I’m on to something.

butch cassidy and the sundance kid

Later, after the procedure but before my last mamm-0-slam of the day (I’d already had about 10) they offered me a warm blanket.  I suggested they offer Margaritas instead.  Skip the “Serenity Now” pictures and bland coffee, when we’re getting our girls pinched, squeezed, and needled, we’d appreciate a little visual pleasure and some liquid courage, thankyouverymuch.

Strawberry or Lime? Your choice, girls!

Strawberry or Lime? Your choice, girls!

So that’s been my last couplea weeks.  Crazy, busy, hair-on-fire most weeks but still going 🙂

** Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads this weekend!

Happy Father’s Day to Hubbs – a Dad who can take all the teasing 2 boys can dish out … A Dad that a 5-year-old boy loved long before his Mom had courage to, a Dad who welcomed another son 2 years later but gave them both the same last name. A Dad who learned the hard way that brothers can be taken from us so we should treasure them while we can.  He’s a Dad who taught them to love and respect their Mom and to “find a girl who reads.”   He’s the Dad who cried before I did as we picked out songs for oldest boy’s wedding next month.  To quote him “Touch my boys & I’ll kill ya.”  You can see why they nicknamed him “Clint.”

boys & dad

~ the Bear and his cubs~ An Emjayandthem(C) photo

 

 

 

 

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Categories: Attitude, Beauty, Blogging, Confidence at any age, Determination, Faith, Friendship, Fun, Gratitude, Growth, Humor, Joy, Life, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Relationships, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Angel Kisses

Stepping up to the desk I watched as she noted my name and birth date.  Placing a wristband on me, and snapping it shut, she smiled while handing over a questionnaire to complete.  Answering questions about family history and trying to remember past surgical dates I stopped and looked up. Looked around.  At the others there.  My age, many older, a few younger.  All women.  Most alone, some with a friend or a husband, all sitting quietly …  just waiting their turn.

Heading back, I changed into a gown and felt a shiver, like a kiss, on my shoulder.

I took my seat in the internal waiting room, smiled at the other ladies gathered there and glanced around. Hoda and Kathie Lee blathered on, I answered a few emails, and glanced at the women’s magazines laid out for us.

Someone new called my name and I followed, stepping into the room with the machine looming.  Asking my last name and birth date, and checking my wrist band, we exchanged pleasant banter as she explained why I’d been called back today.  See there was this area they wondered about, and I really should have it checked further, and so here I was.

I’d nearly rescheduled the appointment just days before.  The test isn’t even covered by insurance.  My job is so full right now, etc.  I don’t have time. But something, something stopped me from doing that.

trust your intuition

We started through the test, one side of the gown dropping away, my arm draped around the top of machine, the other shoulder trying to relax.  It pressed down, the whirring of the imaging doing its job, followed by her soft words of encouragement.  Wrapping up again, off I went to wait.  Wait with the others.

She came back again and pulled me aside to say they’d ordered further tests and that I’d be staying for a while and would that be OK?  Sure I said, not really thinking about it.  Then, with her hand on my arm, this question “Is anyone here with you?”  And a look.  A look that your soul can only recognize as one of concern and when I saw her expression change, I felt concern, too.

Going back to the waiting room, I looked again at the magazines waiting, and laughed at what was on top. “Guideposts,” a spiritually rich periodical that I used to read with Hubbs’ Mom.  I remembered sharing issues with her and both of us dog-earing our favorite stories to talk about later.   Taking that as a sign, I smiled through several stories of faith and inspiration.  Fear receded.

Another called my name and led me down the hall and round the corner for an Ultrasound.  Now the only ultrasounds I’ve ever had were years ago when pregnant with my boys so I knew this wasn’t any big deal.  The Technician was friendly, with a pretty smile and bouncing brown curls, and she put me at ease immediately.  Again, the same routine, confirmation of my name and birth date, a check of the wrist band, and we were off.  But in the soft light of that darkened room, I let myself go there.  To those thoughts that anyone would have when they realize their life might be changing in a very big way.  A tear rolled down my cheek and I muttered the same words to myself that Sissy did during her heart attack this spring: Well this is b.s.  The same ones Mom said when she went in the hospital 49 days ago. Then I took a breath and smiled at her as she covered up my chest with a warm blanket and an explanation that the Radiologist would read the results right now. However, she added, he might come in and do more testing himself. Would I be all right with that? Did I have any questions? She smiled as she waited.  “Yes,” I said.  “Is he good-looking?”  Tipping her head back we laughed together.  Out loud and hard.  I explained how I used to watch daytime “programs” with my Grandma and that she fancied this one particularly handsome Doctor.  We giggled like we’d known each other more than 40 minutes and again I felt a shiver, like a kiss, on my shoulder.

Soon she left the room and I lay there, quietly singing one of my favorite Gospel songs, thinking about how things can go from zero to sixty and how life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. I went from scared to mad to making promises– how I’d take on less, I’d exercise more, and maybe I’d even give up potato chips and then the door opened and there he was. Smiling down and explaining what they’d seen didn’t warrant a specialist or further tests and how they’d just been extra cautious because my type of tissue is hard to read and stuff can hide in there.  Then he said these words: “come back in 6 months for another test and you should be good to go.”  Tears clouded my vision as he shook my hand, smiled and left the room.

And then I breathed.  Really breathed.  Like I must have been holding my breath for 3 hours breathed.   She walked me out, I got dressed, and checked out at the front desk. We made that 6 month appointment and cut off my wrist band.  Before heading to my car I stopped and bought a coffee and smiled at the potato chips winking at me from the checkout line.

angels-kiss

I’ve narrowed my kiss givers to four loves no longer here with me: Nana, Grandma, Hubbs’ Mom, or my Dad. Or maybe four took turns, I don’t know.  See, I lost count of the kisses, but not the feeling that remains.

 * * * * *

How about you? Have you had a health scare?  Did your reaction surprise you? Have you ever experienced an Angel’s Kiss?  Who do you think it was?

breast cancer awareness

Yes, I’m aware. You?

Categories: Attitude, Determination, Faith, fear, Gratitude, Growth, Joy, Life Lessons, Mom, News, Opinion, Personal, Self Discovery | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

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just another plaid-wearin' java-sippin' girl

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Just another WordPress.com weblog

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some thoughts along the way

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music, poetry, musings, photography and philosophy from a woman who found her way back home and wants you to come over for a hike and a cocktail.

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