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Posts Tagged With: change

The New Normal

Somehow me – and some others – are still here.  We’ve been impacted but not “touched” by “re-organizations,” “alignments” and “employee optimizations.”   It gets challenging to do your work well when your wide range of contacts becomes more narrow.

Opening the office yesterday, balancing my lunch, coffee and backpack while punching in the alarm code,  I took a moment to stand in the quiet and take this in. We’ve dropped from 28 to 7 in a matter of weeks.   Department consolidations, moves, staffing changes. Some left, others moved, some took different positions within the company.

I’ve been traveling during most of these changes so I’m a bit late to the (non) party.   It’s like I woke up from a dream and the horizon shifted.

The new normal is office doors open  – everyone listens for the doorbell  – not just the cube-dwellers.  The cubes are empty.

The new normal is driving 7 miles to spend the whole day by myself.   Yes I can work at home and I sometimes do but all of my files and materials are there.  And I like having an office to go to – I can access everything easily – make copies, send a fax and conference someone in if need be.

The new normal is closing my office door for conference calls only to emerge and find everyone gone.

The new normal is – as expected – me and the other female employee – ensuring the coffee pot gets turned off, lights are shut down, and that we don’t run out of supplies.

The new normal is weird.   I don’t care for the new normal.

 

I’ve been through many re-organizations ~ too many to count.  What’s your experience been and how did you cope?

 

 

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Categories: Faith, fear, Growth, Life, Personal, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Women, Work | Tags: , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Christmas 2015 ~ Changes, lessons and blessings

Christmas has come and gone and with that comes time to reflect.  I have a few days off ahead of me and a couple of closets that need attention.  But I also have new books waiting on the end table … I think the books might win. 🙂

The grand kids were with us the night of the 23rd and all day the 24th, and our family feasted, played and opened presents that evening. It was fun and cozy and wonderful.  But it was also different.  You see things changed this year: they’ve slept over on Christmas eve for 3 years now, and we have embraced waking to two bright little faces … even if they do tend to get up on the early side.

But this year was different.  They wanted to go home, to hang their stockings there with Dad and his fiance.  That’s a very good sign that they know who their home is.

Still, we packed as much in as we could, playing Yahtzee and Dice, making chocolate chip pancakes and lunches/snacks, enjoying Holiday movies like “Elf” and “Prancer” and calling the Santa Tracker regularly to check on the big guy’s whereabouts. We read the story of Jesus’ birth and “The Night before Christmas.”    At the end of the night, as Dad and his love bundled them up, they were sleepy but excited to go home, see the dog and put out cookies for Santa.

Several times that day I had tried calling Mom but she didn’t answer; what I didn’t know is she’s congested again and that impacts her hearing.  The phone is next to her, but she never heard it ring.  Talking with my sister Christmas Day she relayed that she and my oldest brother spent part of the day with Mom and how much she enjoyed it but that it played her out, too.   I shared my connectivity concerns and she suggested I call the front desk and have them bring Mom the portable phone, which we did.  For about 5 minutes Mom chatted with me, Hubbs and youngest boy, and while our conversations were brief,  we all expressed our love and gratitude for her as well as our sincere wishes for a Happy Christmas.  We each had a tear when the call ended. And if the time comes that she can no longer hear well enough to talk on the phone, I guess I’ll have to come up with an alternative.

I’ve beat myself up for weeks,  wondering why I wasn’t feeling it ~ the Christmas “spirit.”

I can see now that life has been preparing me for another change.  Time to let some things go – to roll with the changes – and to land safely on the other side.   I’m trying to remain open as to what He has in store for me.

a time to keep

“Sacred blessings and divine opportunities appear in your life disguised as unforeseen changes and challenging circumstances.” ― Miya Yamanouchi

 

What changes are you sensing?  Are you able to roll with them?

Categories: Attitude, Beauty, Confidence at any age, Determination, Faith, Family, fear, Grief, Growth, Holidays, Life, Life Lessons, Love, Mom, Personal, Quotes, Relationships, Seasons, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Summer dreams

We’re in for another wintry blast this week.

An Arctic Vortex.

Whatever.

Sick of it yet?

I am.

I’m not even that sick of the cold, the wind, the ice. I’m sick of the topic!

So, after my workout last night, as the sweat cooled and my skin started to chill, I thought of days of summer.

And when I think of summer days, I think of afternoons spent like this:

therapy

Ahh …

I feel warmer already!  🙂

“What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness.”
― John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley: In Search of America

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Categories: Attitude, Faith, Family, Home, Humor, Life, Quotes, Seasons, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

on Communicating

Most of the time,  Hubbs and I communicate pretty well.

He’s a planner, even more so than me. It’s the Virgo in him.  You can set your watch to this guy.

He’s the one who taught me to speak up about where I’m going and what I’m up to and what time you can expect me to be somewhere.  Being a Gemini, I’d never much considered telling anyone all that. But, as we dated, I seemed to have a knack for frustrating him. If he said “let’s meet at such and such place at this time” he’d be there. Early. Every time.  Not so with me. I’d be there, on time, or shortly thereafter. I’d see him look at his watch and sigh and give me the look.   Quite honestly, it was annoying.

It took me a few years to understand that when I stopped at the grocery store on my way home from work without saying anything ahead of time, that action caused him anxiety. I thought he was ridiculous. He thought I was uncaring.

It took him explaining the knot he got in his stomach when I wasn’t where he thought I’d be. It took him referencing his brother’s sudden death for me to understand that my actions were actually causing him pain. When I wasn’t where I said I’d be, his first thought, his first instinct, was that I was lost to him … forever.

Geez that’s heavy stuff.

But in the 22 years we’ve known each other, I’ve grown.  I’ve learned to communicate proactively, to share my plans because someone else cares to know. I’ve learned that speaking up doesn’t mean surrendering a part of me, it means caring for another, too.

But even after all that, we still have our moments when I think we’re talking two different  languages.

I’m all about words, kinda obvious, since I write a blog. 🙂

He’s a quieter guy who doesn’t always want to talk.

I can talk about anything and often do.

He relishes silence.

So the other day when he commented about “having to clean out the dryer lint drawer cause no one else ever does” what I heard was “you’re an inept housekeeper and whatever you do will never be good enough for me.”

That’s not what he said, but that is what I heard.

And that’s when the snarping started.

I understand now what he was really saying: See me.

I understand now what I was really saying: See me.

Later today, I’m heading out to run a few errands. The 9-year-old in me doesn’t want to tell anyone where she’s off to.  The woman in me commented on the amazingly clean lint drawer and referenced stops at the dry cleaners and gas station.

# # #

How do you and your loves communicate?  Has it changed over time?

“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.”
― C. JoyBell C.

related – Virgo and the Circus

Categories: Attitude, Faith, Family, Life, Men, Personal, Relationships, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 26 Comments

Price-point

If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.  ~Author Unknown

image from pinterest.com

Lately, I’ve evaluated how I “spend” my time vs. how I want to.

Isn’t it odd that we measure time in units of value?

How did you spend your day off?

Oh man, I wasted a whole hour!

But I digress.

Over the past year, I’ve examined my life and made a conscious effort to make room for what matters to me.   The energy vampires are (mostly) gone and instead, I’ve added a few battery chargers to my circle.

I’ve cleared out the clutter in my life so I can do what’s important.

I’ve stopped maintaining relationships that aren’t healthy.  Doing so has made more room for the ones that are.

I’ve gone to bed earlier, and looked better,  than the results any diet ever delivered.

I’ve faced fears, spoken up and taken on new things; these efforts have energized me more than any $100 skin care product possibly could.

I’ve learned that saying no  translates into a big, fat YES… for me.

I’ve learned how very satisfying is is to raise my own price-point.

How about you?  Do you depend on others to raise your price?  Are you in the process of change?  How do you feel about it? 

Categories: Attitude, Faith, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, Growth, Joy, Life, Life Lessons, Personal, Relationships, Self Discovery, Wisdom | Tags: , , , , , | 50 Comments

Why (your) change is hard … on others

When we change, we force others to change, too.

Think about it – if someone depends on you to be  who you’ve always been (fill in the blanks: the cooperator, the yielder, the organizer, etc) and you hit the brakes and shift directions, they’re forced to shift, too.  They can no longer be who they’ve been all along (unorganized, irresponsible, insulting or immature).

google.images.com

When we stop being a doormat to someone demanding because it’s just “easier” than standing up for ourselves,  they’re forced to look for new places to wipe their feet.

When we stop redirecting conversations because we’re scared where someone aggressive will take it, we teach them to choose their words more carefully.

When we stop doing for everyone else because we think that’s where the love is, we learn … to start loving ourselves.

There are some relationships that cannot withstand change.

When one continues to develop and grow and another remains just where they were (listen for the words, “I’m happy with where/who I am), conflict can erupt.  Expect to be challenged. Why? Because witnessing another taking positive steps forward often creates feelings of having to keep up … and they may not want to. They might want things to stay just how they are: easy.

This occurs in personal and professional relationships.

Who’s holding you back? Who’s challenging you to stay as you are?  Whose life would be easier if you stayed static?

If you’re in a time of change (losing weight,  gaining confidence, learning to say “no,” trying out new things) consider this: when someone comments that “you’ve changed,” what they really mean to say is this: you’ve stopped living your life their way.

“You are now at a crossroads.

This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make.

Forget your past.  Who are you now?

Who have you decided you really are now?

Don’t think about who you have been.

Who are you now?

Who have you decided to become?

Make this decision consciously.

Make it carefully.

Make it powerfully.

Make it.”

– Anthony Robbins

*Thank you to my friend Renee at Writing Feemail for her many words of wisdom on my blog — her comments on a past post bubbled back up in my collective thoughts and she, in turn, inspired this post.

The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The realist adjust the sails. - William A. Ward. Image: michigan.org

 

Categories: Attitude, Family, Friendship, Growth, Life, Opinion, Relationships, Thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , | 43 Comments

Wheels off

Being happy – the ultimate goal, right?

Except that … riding an ever-revolving wheel churning towards happiness is a little exhausting, don’t you think?

It’s good to get off the wheel.  It’s good to take a look around.

It’s good to be happy right where you are.

With who you are.

With what you have.

With all you can do.

What about that?

“The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.”  – Doug Larson

Frankie and contentment are well-acquainted.

Categories: Animals, Attitude, Faith, Family, Gratitude, Growth, Home, Joy, Life, Opinion, Quotes | Tags: , , , | 33 Comments

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