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Posts Tagged With: emotions

Random Five Fire Hose

Good morning, peeps! It’s Friday! (smile) What a week – here are a few random thoughts from mine.

1. I’ve had more meetings, trips and calls the past two weeks than any in recent memory.  It’s like drinking from a fire hose, and I don’t see it slowing anytime soon.

information_hose

2.  On a couple of occasions recently I’ve been in new-to-me situations:  in front of significant, large and somewhat scary audiences waiting to pick me apart hear what I have to say.    Here’s the thing:  I’m getting it.  I’m hitting my stride and, as I do, I hear my Mom’s words in my head, “Growth never comes without growing pains.”

trying vs doing

3. Speaking of Mom, her health is a little more stable but she’s not going home.  She’s been moved to respite care which is kind of like a holding area until a bed opens up in long-term care.  My sisters say she’s adjusting but it’s difficult for her because she’s very bright and many there have dementia.  There are no personal phones there, and we’ve only been able to talk twice in a month.  I miss her.

One of my favorite pictures of Mom & me... having a Killian's in Branson, MO

One of my favorite pictures of Mom & me… having a Killian’s in Branson, MO

4. Sunday I took the Grands to a movie and an afternoon of fun at the arcades.  We saw the movie “Inside Out,” which was great, but was about a little girl moving and all the emotions that come with it … Well their Mom just moved away from them a few weeks ago and the subject matter might have been too much – but here’s the thing: it allowed them to talk about it.  In the dark littlest one whispered that she’d never see her Mom again and, pushing aside the popcorn and the candies,  I hugged and kissed and reassured her that yes she would and no matter where her Mom was, she would always be hers.  Big brother leaned in and the two of them ended up pasted to/on me as the tears streamed down my face.    As hard as it’s been being away from my own Mom while she’s been sick,  this, this, is even harder.  Why? This is unnecessary.    How do you explain to a 6 and 10-year-old that some adults are selfish and aren’t likely to ever put them first?  You can’t. You remind them of who is here for them and tell them again how much they’re loved and say what they most need to hear: that her leaving is not their fault.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” ~Deuteronomy 31:6

5.   That’s been my week – up, down, all around.  Tiring, taxing, emotional, challenging. But I’m still here.  On a side note, I found this mixed in with the candles at the local housewares store — chance?  Methinks not.

if it doesn't challenge you it won't change you

Amen to that!

And how was your week?  Any up, downs and all-arounds in your world these days?

 

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Categories: Faith, Family, fear, Grief, Growth, Life, Mom, Seasons, Self Discovery, Thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

The first step

“Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.”
— Martin Luther King Jr.

Categories: Attitude, Faith, Growth, Opinion, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

What the daughter does

So, I haven’t shared much of this before now, but my Mom’s had some health issues this summer and is currently recouping at my sister’s.   My sister, a nurse by trade and a caretaker by heart, has fluffed the pillows, simmered the soup and baked the bread.  Mom’s snuggled, tucked and loved and if there is a place for her that’s better than sissy’s, I’d be hard pressed to tell you where it is.

Chatting Sunday, I was startled when Mom give me something other than her usual “I’m fine.”

Knowing I was planning a visit this fall anyways, she said, “I think you ought to come sooner than later.  Besides, I can use the help.”

And, to the best of my ability, when Mom asks, I go.

So with that, I’m prairie-bound this morning.

I’ll try my best to help, to cheer, to comfort, and to engage.  I’ll also take the opportunity to say the things I need to say.  Because as hard as it is to get those words out, those are the one I think most need to be said. You know what I mean: expressions of emotion that dwell so close to our hearts that they pinch when we release them.  And even though I’ll probably stumble my way through, I’m determined to step over my fears and say them anyways.

And mostly? Mostly I aim to do for her what she’s done for me.

“What the daughter does, the Mother did.”
-unknown

Categories: Faith, fear, Home, Life, Love, Mom, Personal | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 49 Comments

How do you mend a broken heart?

A parental pitfall that no one warns us of is what to do when our child’s romantic relationship with someone… ends.

Like most areas of parenting, there’s no handbook for it. 

As Mom to two young men,  I’ve witnessed them fall in and out of love. They’ve had their hearts broken and they’ve broken a few hearts, too.   We’ve been there to comfort them, to offer advice, and, to redirect when necessary.    But here’s what no one prepares us for: what to do about our relationship with her?   She’s the girl he wanted us to like, the one he asked us to include in our plans, the one he planned his free time around.   What do you say to her?  How do you tell her that you’re sorry things didn’t work out the way they’d both imagined and that you know how much it hurts.. but that you see his discomfort, too? 

Answer:  You don’t. You keep your thoughts to yourself and trust that when she thinks back on times with us… she remembers cozy days, laughter, and comfortable conversations. You hope she recalls that she was welcomed and that we were kind. We hope that she knows we’ll miss her, too.

How do you mend a broken heart?   Sometimes…you have to just stay the distance while your heart adjusts as well.

Categories: Family, Friendship, Life, Life Lessons, Love, Opinion, Personal, Random observations, Relationships, Uncategorized, Useful Information, Wisdom, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

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