Posts Tagged With: expectations

My Dentist watches “The Bachelor”

My Dentist watches the “Bachelor” and it kind of freaks me out.

Its bad enough he talks to me when his knuckles are back at my molars, but about “the Bachelor,” really?

I admit I’ve watched but I soon grew weary of the roses, the tears, the “connections” and the “most dramatic” everything.  Y-a-w-n.

The guy’s a doctor and a Big Ten graduate, for Pete’s sake!

Is it too much to expect observations on art, culture, restaurants or books he’s reading?

Are you here for the right reasons? image: abc.com

Is it too much to hope for friendly bantering on topics of rampant interest?  Sports? Politics?  or even … Silence?

~Sigh~

I miss my old Dentist, the one in his 6os who retired last year. His worked on our chops and his wife worked the insurance.  I miss his corny jokes about his golf game, how his hair never moved out of place (pretty sure he used Aqua Net), and the predictable familiarity of his mannerisms and those of his long-term staff.

This new guy throws me off.  Don’t get me wrong, he’s smart and talented and he knows all the latest & greatest techniques. But he has the attention span of a gnat.

Sitting in the exam chair Monday, I realized then that I have certain expectations about how health care providers should behave.  I don’t mind if they’re younger than me, my family care doctor is.  But he’s also poised and polished and … Doctorish.

I don’t like it when this guy sprays water at the hygienist and comments that, “I’m a kid at heart!” like that’s supposed to be endearing.  It’s not.  It’s annoying and even more so when his hands are halfway down my neck and water’s pooling at my shoulders.   I probably could cope with it better if we could at least talk about something intelligent.

.::.

How about you?   Do you have certain expectations of medical professionals?  Would you happily forgo “advances in modern whatever” just to have a touch of the familiar back again? 

don't really feel like talking, thanks! google.images.com

Categories: Life, Opinion, Personal, Politics, Random, Snarky, Thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , | 32 Comments

Self-sabotage or something else?

Self-sabotage or self-preservation?

Let’s look at the root of both words:

  • Sabotage – to damage, disrupt, interfere with or harm.
  • Preservation – referring to protection, safeguarding, maintenance or continuation.

I’ve used the first when I might really have meant the second; talk about different meanings… yikes!

Have you ever charged so hard down a goal’s pathway only to stop and then realize you’ve put very unrealistic expectations on yourself?

I have.

Recently, I plowed down the exercise path, again.

I say “again” because it’s taken me this long to really understand myself and here’s what I’ve learned:  Routinely, I set very high standards.  Standards that can be difficult for me to maintain.  Then .. when I can’t, I get frustrated and, in turn, am extremely hard on myself.

Example:  I’m gonna _____ *fill in the blanks

1)      Exercise every day!

2)      Eat only healthy stuff all the time!

3)      Etc. etc. etc.

The problem isn’t in the doing or in the determination. I have plenty of both.  The problem lies in the fact that, sometimes, life gets in the way. It has to.  I’m not a celebrity. I don’t have a chauffeur, cook, or anyone else.

I get busy.

I get bored.  *Yawn*

I get frustrated.

I get tired.

Can you relate?

But here’s something I’ve learned: I thought self-sabotage had to be the reason that I stopped.  I thought that, somehow,  somewhere, there was a deep, dark part of me that just didn’t want “it” badly enough.

Albert Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

So, by berating myself after I gave up, I, in effect, neglected to see what had already been accomplished.

But recently I’ve learned another way of looking at this: maybe tucked in there with the negative connotations instead lies a semblance of self-preservation.

Maybe, at my core, I know better?

Hmm.

Maybe when I am fatigued and stressed and stop to take a day or three off it doesn’t have to mean that it’s all or nothing.

Maybe, I’m just tired.

Maybe I’m not a failure.

Maybe … if I instead acknowledge that some standards are too restrictive to be maintained I can see that it’s not always self-sabotage.  Perhaps it is, instead, self-care?

Perhaps it’s my inner voice suggesting … hey hot stuff, how about you go at it 3 – 4 days a week?  Pick something you enjoy and mix it up a little when it gets stale?  It’s OK: It will be enough.  You will be enough.

I get it now, I think.

image from beachbody.com

So last night, I danced, punched and shook my way through a round of Turbo Jam (fun!), enjoyed a luxurious cool-down in the pool and, after supper, took old dog for a leisurely stroll in the neighborhood.

None of it felt like exercise.   I never once looked at my watch. And all of it … felt like… fun!

Today?

Today’s a new day and while my intentions are great, my expectations … are a bit more realistic.

Having fun might just be what brings me back for more.

# # #

You?  What keeps you moving forward to your goals? Have you ever stopped, erased what you’d planned, and started again? 

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Determination, Faith, Forgiveness, Friendship, Growth, Home, Joy, Life, Life Lessons, Love, Opinion, Personal, Products I love, Relationships, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Wisdom, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

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