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Posts Tagged With: forgiveness

The road to 2017

2017The days between Christmas and New Years afford us an opportunity to reflect and address the state of our union.  To take stock of our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual happiness.

As we look back and ahead we pause to ask:

What was my biggest lesson?

What do I want to learn next?

What do I want more of? Less of?

What makes me happy? Sad?

What do I want to experience?

What do I want to feel?

What/who do I need to forgive?

What do I need to let go?

What do I want to do?  What am I willing to do?

What holds me back? Is it true?

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What will your 2017 headline say?

As you look to the new year, will you celebrate your accomplishments and forgive your blunders?  What excites you about 2017?

*Story idea: Frankie Perez’s MindGym

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Categories: Attitude, Blogging, Confidence at any age, Determination, Faith, Forgiveness, Friendship, Gratitude, Growth, Holidays, Life, News, Opinion, Personal, Relationships, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Wisdom, Women, Work, Writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

How to pray for someone you can’t stand

I’ve been working on this post for a while now. Twice I’ve written it and twice it’s disappeared.  I suppose it wasn’t ready for prime time just yet.

I know the title is a grabber, but I haven’t been able to wordsmith it any softer than that.

I cringe at the title and I’m the one who wrote it!

But yesterday I found myself thinking {again} about someone I can’t stand to be around. To know. To have any association with.

I have tried. For years. To no avail.

What is it, you ask?  Well, it’s a mix of many things and there’s a list as long as my arm.

At first, I thought things would be better off if I just prayed for them. I thought it would help me if I asked for mercies on their behalf. I thought and I thought and I thought … wrong.

Turns out, whenever I tried to pray for them, I just got madder.

Ornery. Downright unreasonable.

Why?

My heart wasn’t in it.  My heart just couldn’t get past the betrayals, the hurts, and that list … as long as my arm.

So, in desperation, I tried something new: I prayed that He might change them.

You can guess how that turned out.

Finally, I started to wonder if this person might be in my path for a reason.  And apparently I am supposed to learn something from them even if, for the life of me,  I don’t know what that is!

which one is it?

which one is it?

And then, after another restless night’s sleep, came clarity:  Trust in Me.

Huh, who’d have thought that the one needing prayer the most .. was the one saying them!

When Peter asked Jesus how many times we must forgive someone who has sinned against us, he was thinking that maybe seven times was enough. Jesus answered him, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times” (Matt. 18:22).

Tell me, how do you cope with hurtful people in your life?

Categories: Attitude, Faith, Growth, Personal, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

Relationship Filing System

There are two files in life that I have found to be extremely helpful when dealing with the ins and outs of interpersonal relationships. I’d like to take a moment and share them with you.

File 1:   The “Now you know” (NYK) file. If someone disappoints you, hurts you, slights you, double-crosses you, cheats on you, lies to you, or steals from you: file them in the NYK file.  It’s up to you to decide if and when to let them out.

NOTE: The NYK can be filled with positives, too.   My NYK is peppered with friends who have shown up with food when we’ve suffered a loss in the family, have guarded a secret,  lent a shoulder to cry on, or offered encouraging words when we were struggling.

File 2:  The “Jimmy Cracked Corn” (JCC) file. (from the childhood song, “Jimmy Cracked Corn and I don’t care…”) This is the “I don’t care, I’m done worrying about it/thinking about it/being responsible for it/can’t fix it anyways/don’t give a fig about it”   file.  The JCC file is typically used for those situations that involve a lot of drama, are detrimental for you to be involved in (lose: lose situation) and are usually operated by “energy vampires.”

What’s powerful about using this system is that it ABSOLVES you of another person’s bad behavior.  

Example 1:   Someone you work with steals your cost-savings idea, becomes the company hero and gets all the credit. File: NYK.  Resolve to never give them the same opportunity to steal your stuff again; unless it’s not that big of a deal to you and, if that’s the case, they can be moved to the JCC file.

Example 2:  The gossipy neighbor calls and leaves a breathy urgent-sounding “call me back” message. You know darn well that her sister-in-law (that she doesn’t like)  just had surgery and what she really wants to do is talk your ear off about it, her job, kids, health issues etc.  so she can interject her own commentary. Meanwhile supper is boiling over, the kids need help with homework and you’d rather stick a pin in your eye than spend an hour with her. File: JCC.

 So simple! So effective! Try it today!!

Categories: Attitude, Determination, Life Lessons, Random observations, Relationships, Uncategorized, Wisdom, Women | Tags: , , , , , , | 5 Comments

The Power of Forgiveness

Read this recently on Facebook and had to share … “Holding a grudge, carrying your anger, pain and hurt will only destroy the joy you deserve. So often we make things worse in our heads as days turn into weeks, weeks into months, months into years. Forgiveness will set you free. You may never forget, but you deserve the freedom that comes with letting go.”

Carrying a grudge around is like letting someone you don’t like  live rent free in your head.   But sometimes we can’t let it go because holding onto to that feeling is the last thread tying us to that person.   Let it go.

When you let go of the people who aren’t good for you, you make room for the ones who are.

Categories: Forgiveness, Life Lessons, Random observations, Wisdom | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

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