Posts Tagged With: Gavin de Becker

Seekers

Have you ever met someone whose personality immediately drew you in? Who, at first glance, seemed like someone you’d like to know better?

Not long ago, this happened to me.

I found myself seated next to another lady while both of us were getting manicures; I couldn’t help but overhear her conversation with another patron. She was articulate and engaging on the topics they discussed (health and health care). When the other lady finished and left, this one turned to me.   For a time, the conversation was pleasant.  Smiling inwardly, I thought, this is fun, because I love to meet and talk with new people.  But it was when she ventured off into alternative care that I felt a smidge of unease.   Bear in mind that I don’t take issue with alternative remedies; I personally think there’s a lot we can learn by going back to the basics – good nutrition, proper sleep, etc.  But, this was  different: I saw her eyes brighten and noted when she licked her lips and leaned in closer, almost conspiratorially.   It hit me that the two-way info exchange had stopped; now she talked at me about energy fields, colon-hydrotherapy and her stance against vaccinations.  Well, “to each his own,” I thought.  A break in the conversation allowed me to sit quietly for a moment and that’s when I heard it, a ringing in my right ear, clear and steady, like an alarm going off.   I smiled while trying to follow her stances on modalities, PH balances and the like.  I found myself a little sad, too, because before me was a woman with a quick and seeking mind.  Before me was not someone seeking conversation or friendship, however: before me was a soul whispering hear me, see me, affirm me.

When it was time to go, she smiled warmly and introduced herself as Jane, slipping her business card into my hand. I smiled back and told her my first name, too, but refrained from sharing my contact information. Instead I minded that little alarm, the one that very clearly said no.

“Intuition is always right in at least two important ways;

It is always in response to something.

It always has your best interest at heart”

― Gavin de Becker, “The Gift of Fear”

Have you ever been in this situation? How did you handle it?

image from Pinterest.com

Categories: Faith, fear, Friendship, Personal, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Wisdom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Because sometimes I just know

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where what you feel doesn’t match what’s being presented to you?  I have and I experienced it again this summer.

We’d been introduced to a new couple via mutual friends when I experienced something that gave me pause:  A feeling of unease. Butterflies. A sudden upset stomach.  Wooziness.  (and no, I wasn’t ill and only had 1 drink).

I acknowledged my feelings but attempted to shelve them; they were insistent and kept re-appearing as the evening progressed.  The hostess was lovely, their home was beautiful but it was him that I reacted to.  I took note of my body’s reaction whenever he addressed me. He was agitated and trying especially hard to be liked.  I felt for him in that moment but couldn’t help but notice how he frequently criticized and dismissed her .. in front of all of us.  I saw the sadness in her eyes and soon I really saw what my body had already recognized: a bully.

And then I felt it again; a primitive tug, pulling me away. I wanted to grab my purse and flee, to get as far away as possible.  Emotions washed over me.  Grief, sadness…  desperation. I had to get out of there and I found myself in the bathroom trying to compose myself.  I remember thinking, “I am truly losing it!”  But .. still, I listened.  I’ve learned to do that.

Thankfully, the evening ended soon after and before we were out of the driveway I said to everyone in the car: “I don’t ever want to see or be around that man again.”

That’s fairly clear, even for someone as direct as me.

I didn’t say, “I am not sure I like that guy” or “He’s not my favorite.”

I said, “I don’t ever want to see or be around that man again.”

Not long afterward, I heard that she was injured in a household accident and a shudder passed through me.   Because sometimes, in spite of the mask someone wears, sometimes I just know … better.

***

I am currently reading “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker and right after I started it yesterday, this post came to me.   

In his book, readers learn how to:

  • Recognize the survival signals that warn us about risk from strangers
  • Rely on their intuition
  • Separate real from imagined danger
  • Predict Dangerous Behavior
  • Evaluate whether someone will use violence
  • Move beyond denial so that their intuition works for them

 

Categories: Attitude, Faith, Quotes, Wisdom | Tags: , , , , , , | 42 Comments

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