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Posts Tagged With: mean people

Jet-Skis, Bullies and Towanda

I was so looking forward to this day: a gathering at a friends’ lake house.  A day of sunshine, water, good eats, laughter, camaraderie  & pontoon rides.  A day of good tunes, easy conversations, jet skis, sunblock and beach hair.

Like I do, I carefully planned the foods I’d bring, deciding on a fresh peach/blueberry cobbler & an appetizer dip.    Hubbs and I eagerly anticipated the day, the forecast was perfect for a country ride “up” to the lake house, and the camaraderie we were soon to experience.

Arriving just after 1pm we set down the coolers and arranged chairs;  food covered their kitchen counter and friends hugged hello, gathering around the patio table.  Classic 70s rock playing in the background, a waterfall trickled softly and we savored the summer breeze off the lake.

Soon the Hostess asked if I was up for a ride on her “new” jet ski, the high powered one gleaming in the distance.  “You bet,” I answered but “let’s visit first.” And so we did.   When I offered how I didn’t bring my swimsuit and just had a tee shirt & shorts she promised, “I won’t get you wet.”  And I know she knows what she’s doing .. so I went with it.

As we strapped on life vests and headed to the dock, another couple joined the party – so soon came more greetings before climbing onto the Sea-do.   Heading to the open water, with my pal driving and me holding  tight, we navigated smaller waves until a time she could “open it up” – flying now – fast and tight, my hair whipping behind me, I caught a glimpse at the speedometer: 57mph.  Shrieking, we leaned into a turn, jumped the wake left by a puttering pontoon boat, both of us rocketing forward and laughing our heads off.   Hanging on,  fully exhilarated, truly living.

Having an “it-doesn’t-get-better-than-this-moment,” and then some. 😀

Life is too short to sit on the shore!

We circled a few times then made our way back to the dock where friends gathered, men on the deck, ladies on chairs in the shallow water, waves lapping their calves.   Coasting into shore, I commented on how good of a driver my friend is, and thanked her that I did not have one drop of water on me, amazing!   We hopped off and waded  towards shore, where the women gathered.   With everyone watching, one gal commented “you went all that way and didn’t even get wet” and I nodded and smiled, about to compliment my friend on her excellent command of the machine.  But before I could do so, that same woman reached down and, with both hands, doused me in water, from head to toe.  Water soaked my hair, dripped down my sunglasses and face, top, shorts and underwear now completely drenched, with rivulets of water running down my legs.  I stood there in shocked disbelief, having my own “Carrie” moment, trying to come to terms with what just happened.

What. The. ???    What’s wrong with you?

Stephen King’s 1970’s Horror classic, “Carrie”

Looking back, there’s a part of me that almost did what I’d always done: “take the high road” “turn the other cheek” and all that other passive bullsh*t I’d been preached to my whole life. The same words that always translated to just lie down, be quiet and take it.

And I might have done that until I saw another so-called friend laughing.

And that was it. That was the tipping point.

Shaking water off my sunglasses while simultaneously wiping it from my eyes I looked around at those who looked away, said nothing, and the splasher and that one “friend” laughing.

All at my expense.  Nice.

I’m 5’2″ and the splasher well she’s 3 years younger and 4″ taller.

But it only took an second – I lunged at her with both hands, knocking her off her feet.

I’m petty sure she got air before landing in that lake sideways with a thud.   Sputtering she got up yelling, flailing  and swearing …. “I thought you were a nice girl” and my response was this, “I am. You started it.  Want some more?”

Women backed off, clucked, fussed and did nothing.

Someone said “this feels like High School” and I answered “YEP it sure does,  I hope you all remember who started it.  Just keep it up and I’ll finish it!”

  • I probably should feel remorse …. but I don’t.
  • I probably should be embarrassed …. but I’m not.
  • I hit her with everything I’ve got and then some. And I’d do it again.

#Sorrynotsorry

Maybe when bullies decide they’re going to pick someone’s hide, they should consider who they’re picking: in my case, she picked a 50-something woman who’s had enough of immature jerks and is no longer going to lie down and take it.

And I have better insurance, too.

 

Gotta love me some TOWANDA!

Your turn:

  • When’s the last time you dealt with a bully?
    • What did you do?
  • In the situation described above, what would you have done if you were me?
    • Why?
  • If you ever retaliated against someone’s nastiness, how did leave you feeling?
    • I don’t feel great about it, but I don’t feel bad, either.  😀

 

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Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Determination, Faith, Growth, Life Lessons, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

A good day

kid quotes

We’ve all had times like that.  Sometimes they run together.

One day recently the rat  sauntered into my office like he owned the place, stinking up my aura with his 2-pack-a-day habit.  Asking if I was busy (and not listening to my answer of yes, very), he took a seat before I could stop him. Not like it would have mattered. I bit my tongue as he prattled on about his life, his health, his adventures, his stresses, himself, him, him, and his other favorite topic, him.   When he pushed me for information and updates, I diverted back to his favorite topic: him.   Soon, he tired of my lack of involvement, and said with a pout, “Well I felt I owed you a visit.”   My wax museum half-smile and a squinty-eyed look was the last he saw of me before slinking away to look for crumbs and colleagues.

Before that day and since co-workers have asked … “so … what have you heard from him?”  And my answer is always the same. “Not much and that is just fine with me!”

See here’s the thing: the experience you have with someone is yours alone.  Unfortunately some save their best for everyone else – and their snarky comments, nasty treatment and *ahem* b.s. is saved for you and you alone. I know this is someone who didn’t work .. but worked hard – overtime, really  – at appearing fun-loving and well-connected.  And if you spend any time at all – any – trying to convince others that the person they know as a certain way is otherwise, you’ll come off looking like a maniac. Trust me on this.

But I know the truth.  And here’s the thing with me.  Once I know who you are … really are … I’ll accept you. If I know your spirit is good, that you are kind and hard-working and do you best to be a good person, I’m in.  100%.  To the contrary, it doesn’t matter how much veneer someone slaps on the wagon, I can recognize a Charlatan driving it from a mile away.

But hey, I didn’t bite, so in hindsight,  it was a good day!  🙂

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Can you relate to this story? Who do you know is one way with you but another with everyone else? How did you cope with it? Were you able to excise yourself from the situation?

 

go away

Categories: Determination, Faith, Growth, Life, Opinion, Personal, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Work | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

How a believer lost 250lbs in 1day

* This is a true story and not a weight-loss testimonial.

Once upon a time there was a hard-working donkey who worked steadily at meeting deadlines, helping others and getting things done.  Over time, her skills got attention and she found herself recruited for special projects on a pretty regular basis. And her workload grew.

donkey with heavy load

But that was OK because she was a sturdy donkey who could carry a lot – and, when no one was looking, she dreamed of a day when things might be better for her and the others in her group.  When he, her supervisor (otherwise known as the rat), would pick up his share of the work, listen to her ideas, and appreciate her efforts.  But that was not to be.

donkey with load man beside

He liked leaving her places.. and laughing about it.

But her star shone steadily anyways.  And he didn’t like it. Didn’t like it one bit.  And then one day a miracle happened – an opportunity appeared.  He told that he was moving up.  What about his spot, she asked? Could it be for her?  No, not for you, he snorted.  She couldn’t stop thinking of all the work she’d done – covering his 300+ absences over 5 years – and she knew she had to try.  She would get the work, that’s for sure, ought to at least try for the money. Sadly he didn’t support her, in fact, he lobbied for another donkey.   Still .. 4 interviews later, and with an armful of recommendations, she triumphed, the job was hers. He moved out, she moved in and brought her team up with her.   For one glorious year he was … off in the distance somewhere. But, as sometimes happens, a reorganization brought him back  to her again.

Say what?

Say what?

It was perfect! For him.

He was used to taking her ideas and packaging them up as his own.  How he loved to bring her along to meetings, not prepare and then throw her in at the last-minute.  Once again. Once again. And every time a deadline approached he’d have yet another illness.  Some real. Some imagined. Yet again. Yet again.  And for a while, the donkey, well,  she felt defeated.  Betrayed.  Hopeless. She plodded along the circle, even when it made her sick.   She didn’t sleep, she barely ate, dark circles took up residence under her eyes.   She cried, she railed, she prayed. Oh, did she pray.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

“all I want for Christmas … is a break”

Meanwhile the rat prospered.  He worked to convince others what a great rat he was. How he had all these great ideas (hers), he got projects completed (hers), and, from the surface, it appeared he was one good rat. And he was.  He was very good at being a rat.

warren t rat american tail

And soon, the load grew again.   But this time, it was different. Something had changed.  She had grown, too.   The yoke no longer fit!! No longer dangling in the air she righted herself and when a much more Sr. Donkey asked her “how are you doing?” she looked him in the eye and she answered.  She squared her shoulders, stood in her truth and saw his gasp of horror.  He listened and she spoke and she heard his words of understanding.  Time passed and she figured maybe he was just one more Sr. Donkey who’d allow a rat in his midst. But she was wrong.

donkey up in air

In time, she saw the rat’s unease.  She listened to him whine at being questioned why he always had to come to Donkey for answers.  And why was Donkey’s name on all the work? Who exactly was doing the work? The questions coming at him were rapid and direct and not easily dodged.  That wily rat found himself nailed like a fat kid in dodge ball.

warren t rat surprised

And then, one day, happy news came her way – delightful, happy, wonderful news!  Can you guess what it was?  The gig was up! The rat was out – leaving the company.  Secretly Loudly she danced. She danced, she cried, she smiled so much and so often her face hurt.  She slept. She finally slept.  And dreams returned, in just days. Dreams returned.

happy donkey

Is that the Karma bus I see in the distance?

One morning, as she finally put into words what she’d experienced in her years with the rat, she felt the weight of a 250lb yoke slipping off her shoulders.  No more shackles to his messes, his problems, him. No more cleaning up, fixing up, and covering for.  No more. No more. No more.

And as she said it, she saw it, and the tears ran down her face.  Tears of liberation.

“You own everything that happened to you. 

Tell your stories. 

If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.” 

– Ann Lamott

I’m that donkey.  And between now and 5:00 today I’ll lose 250lbs. By His grace, I’m a believer.

Dance with me, will ya? 🙂

 

 

Can you relate to this?  Whose yoke have you become used to? What needs to happen before you can put it down?

 

 

Categories: Attitude, Determination, Faith, fear, Growth, Humor, Joy, Life, Life Lessons, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Thoughts, Work | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 43 Comments

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Nancy Roman

She's A Maineiac

just another plaid-wearin' java-sippin' girl

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I also live on a farm

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Wordsmith's Desk

some thoughts along the way

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music, poetry, musings, photography and philosophy from a woman who found her way back home and wants you to come over for a hike and a cocktail.

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