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Posts Tagged With: personal growth

Random 5 Monday ~ Bourdain, Beaches and Ducks

It’s Monday and it’s time for some random thoughts from the ever-swirling mind of yours truly.  Ready?  No.  Well get set, let’s go!

1 ) Still reeling over the loss of Anthony Bourdain.   I’m not even a foodie.  And I wanted to be one … watching him.  I wanted to walk into his kitchen, sit at his table,  have him flirt outrageously with me, tell a clever joke and have him lean in for the punch line.   Young, middle-aged, older – there was something about him that drew us in.   And kept us there.  This blogger sums up our loss beautifully – https://atypical60.com/2018/06/09/the-anthony-bourdain-i-knew/    #LOSS.

I hope he has peace now. 😦

2 ) Last week I took a couple of days off ~ I was, once again, up against the deadline.  Time to use vacation days.  Darn.   Thursday I packed tea, sunblock, my books and a beach chair and drove myself to Lake Michigan.  A place where stress does not thrive.  I read for hours, enjoyed other people’s children, watched a wedding, dug my toes in the sand and came home with beach hair & freckles.  And yes, I aim to repeat this many times over the summer.  #SUMMERGOALS.

~~~ ahhh ~~~
An Emjayandthem(C) Photo

3 )  The days are longer now that summer is officially here.  Celebrating my birthday I reflected on changes.  Much much stays the same ~ the work load, schedule, and expectations.  But I’ve changed – I’m a bit easier on myself than I used to be.   I’ve said “no” to others so I can say “yes” to me. I’ve slowed down. I’ve leaned in.   I’ve savored.  There’s a shift and I like it.  #SELF-CARE

4 )  Something I’ve realized – getting older – is that I’m a lot like Mom:  I don’t mind time alone, I crave it.  I get a little bit cranky with too many people and too much noise.   Yes I enjoy good conversation, music and such but I can – and will – easily spend days by myself.    A few nights back I imagined taking a week off and never leaving the house.   I found myself day-dreaming of how that would go:

  • Sleep
  • Read
  • Putter outside
  • Read
  • Write
  • Chat on the phone / visit with Hubbs
  • Sing/dance to music
  • Read
  • Putter outside
  • Read
  • Exercise/stretch
  • Sleep

I even had a fantasy food list ready.  It came to me immediately and goes something like this:

  • Strong coffee with cream
  • Grilled anything & Fresh veggies
  • Strawberries and watermelon
  • Iced Tea
  • Bacon & eggs
  • Fajitas
  • Avocados
  • Chinese Coleslaw
  • Margaritas and Fresh Limes

I realized that this exercise was really me manifesting my summer “wish list.”  Yep, time to book more days off.  #SUMMERGOALS

5 ) Saw two ducks on my walk earlier tonight … made me think of this:

#CORNYJOKESMAKEMELAUGH

 

~~~~~~~

Your turn:

  • Did a celebrity death ever leave you reeling?  (recent or not)
  • Are you making a summer wish list, too?
  • Got any bread?

 

 

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Categories: Animals, Attitude, Beauty, Blogging, Confidence at any age, Food, Grief, Growth, Home, Humor, Joy, Life, Life Lessons, Men, News, Opinion, Personal, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Women, Writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Random 5 Sunday ~ Hoarders, Deals and Stupid Ideas

It’s Sunday morning, the sun’s shining and we might * gasp * actually be seeing Spring today. I know, I know, we’re holding our breath because we woke up to snow Thursday.

To that end, it’s time again for 5 random thoughts, this time on a Sunday.

Ready?  Here we go:

1 ) Hoarders.  If I’m ever featured on an episode of Hoarders I’m blaming the books.   I’m not a shopper, hate the mall, and despise trying on clothes.  But click here to add one more book to my Amazon cart?  Oh, just one more nets me free shipping?  I’m in!   Many books have been devoured this past winter but this one is, hands down, my favorite:

2 ) Weekends.  A good part of the weekend is spent doing whatever I want to.  In the overly-scheduled world that is my work week, my soul craves an opportunity to goof off, waste time and accomplish absolutely nothing at all.  And I do.

“A mind preoccupied with planning plays homage to the idol of control.” – Sarah Young

3)  Stupid Ideas.  In my job I try to remain open to new ideas and different approaches.  But some ideas are simply stupid.  And stupid ideas are made stupider when brought up by those who should know better.  Except they don’t.  And, the older I get, the harder it is for me to stifle the snort a stupid idea commands. I’m working on it but let me just say, “Thank you, God, for the mute button!”  Snort Snort!

4 ) Deals  ~ about a month ago I was down with the flu – something positive that came out of that delirium was, in the midst of sleeping through watching morning T.V. shows, I learned of a cool site called MorningSave. Kind of like a buying group it’s a collection of all the “deals” featured on morning shows like “The Wendy Show,” the “Steve Harvey Show,” etc.   There are plenty of “deals & steals” on there, much of it is electronics (Bluetooth speakers, fitness gadgets, home security, portable phone chargers, etc),  fashion (handbags, jewelry), and personal items (watches, hair gadgets, skin care, teeth whiteners, etc) but here’s the skinny ~ most items are more than 65% off.    🙂

No chickens were harmed in this post

5 ) Saying Yes. I’ve written about the power of saying Yes.   And about how “no” is a sentence.   I’ve said “no” a lot over the past years.  Doing so has made room for Yes’s but I haven’t always said it.   I’ve enjoyed some time and some space without anyone in it.   Lately, I’ve started saying yes again — to things that challenge me – speaking opportunities, serving on advisory panels, putting myself out there to alleviate the boredom that comes with a little too much routine.  This has been soul-invigorating.  I’m not sky-diving or cliff jumping anytime soon, but pushing myself to say “yes” to opportunities that freak me out a little has brought something rewarding:  personal growth.

How about you? If you were featured on “Hoarders” what would it be for?  How do you like to waste time?  Heard any stupid ideas lately?   Got any new “finds” to share?  And lastly, what have you said “yes” to lately?

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Determination, Faith, fear, Gratitude, Growth, Joy, Life, Opinion, Personal, Products I love, Relationships, Seasons, Share, Technology, Thoughts, Work, Writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

A wonderful part to play

It’s Sunday, the sun is shining, coffee tastes great and later, I’m going shopping.

I don’t even like shopping.

I also rarely leave the house on Sundays.

That’s how much better I feel than I did a couple of months ago.

Why?

A couple of purposeful adjustments have brought profound dividends:

1. Earlier this month, this link – 30 challenges for 30 days of growth inspired me to try some new things.   However, the things I thought I’d do, I didn’t do.  The one I did, # 14, get up 30 minutes earlier, has taken hold and now – that time – that time is m-i-n-e – all mine.

Me & my coffee, early a.m. = Smiles.  Google.images.com

Me & my coffee, early a.m. = Smiles. Google.images.com

2. I’m going shopping because I lost weight – yay! And I’m tired of looking like I’m sporting Aunt Edna’s clothes.  Plus someone said that larger clothes just add pounds to your frame.  Since I lost pounds from my frame, why would I add them back on?   And I’m going for color and lots of it.

I look best in Jewel tones. Google.images. com

I look best in Jewel tones. Google.images. com

3. A survey conducted by Ohio State University reports that sticking up for yourself with a hostile boss or co-worker is actually good for you – and I can attest that this is true.  About 2 months ago a person who likes to demean and dismiss me finally got a blast of what he deserved.  This is the same individual who has left me places and behaved like a crow as long as I’ve known him.   It wasn’t easy and I was scared to death but guess what?  What I had to say was the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.  And here’s the rub that took me years to learn – the truth shall set you free. 

So very true.  Google.images.com

Crows not invited. Google.images.com

4. It’s January and, often-times, it’s grey here in the Great Lakes State.  Being so close to Lake Michigan means we can go days – even weeks -without seeing the sun.  I’ve started bringing my own sunshine to my office:

a $8.00 pick-me-up that lasts all week long.  Google.images.com

an $8.00 pick-me-up that lasts all week long. Google.images.com

5. We’ve gained a new executive and my team and I will meet with him later this week – I wrote the Power Point overview 10 days ago and we are ready to rock n’ roll.   Hubbs knows me well and he gets the significance of the meeting.  He reminded me of a sign that used to hang in my cubicle years back, long before I’d ever thought of leading the Department, even though I already was.

man in charge or woman who knows whats going on

Still true. Google.images.com

 “Belief in yourself comes from a positive attitude that sees life as worth living and that you have a wonderful part to play in it.”  ― John Patrick Hickey

 It’s a new year – what adjustments have netted you results?

 

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Faith, fear, Growth, Life, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Random, Relationships, Thoughts, Wisdom, Work | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments

Growth

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” – E. E. Cummings

Wonder how long it took for that tree to grow that much? an emjayandthem photo

I have a strong need to be in control.  Examples:

  • I plan gatherings, parties and vacations, down to the last detail.
  • I tend to be a perfectionist and am my own worst critic.
  • If you ask my opinion, I assume you want to know. I  get irritated when you don’t take my advice.
  • It’s difficult for me to trust.
  • I drink socially, but I can count on one hand the times I ever felt drunk … and that feeling?  Far from fun, try horrifying.
  • I make lists for everything.
  • It drives me crazy not to have enough to do.
  • Conversely, while I love a day off with no schedule I only love them if they’re by my design.  (I.E. sitting around waiting on someone else? Drives me c-r-a-z-y).
  • I do not like to be the center of attention, unless it was my choice to be.  Example:  I’ve never thrown anyone a surprise party; I think they’re vile and I’d never want to be subjected to one.  I know some people love them; it would be pure torture for me.

From an evolutionary standpoint, cultivating a sense of control over our environment ensures we will survive it.  Do I need to be in control as much as I need a sense of control over the outcome?

I’ve been thinking a lot about life and my next steps.  I asked myself, “What are you afraid of?”  At first, I couldn’t think of anything.  OK there’s the obvious big stuff that frightens most of us – war, an environmental disaster, something happening to my husband or children, etc.  I realized that, for me, what I am most afraid of is lack of control over my being or my life.

It started young; I’m the youngest of five.  My parents enjoyed a hobby (horse racing) that sometimes took them away from home.  I remember being frightened when they weren’t there and more scared during the parties that were held with loud music and strange people in my house.  I remember being told to go to bed even though I could hear the kids hooting & hollering in the room not far from mine.  I think about the trouble my siblings sometimes got into, and my vows to not follow in their footsteps. So, instead, I became the good kid; the teen who could be left alone because she was always responsible. I became the friend who would drive her drunk boyfriend and his friends home because she kept a level head. I became everything .. to everyone else.

I created a façade for myself; someone who takes care of everyone else and I became an expert at it.  Professionally, it helped that I am naturally organized and pay careful attention to detail.  Making lists was rewarded.  Soon, because I was responsible, on time, and someone others could count on, I was rewarded with more – more work, more responsibility, more to organize, more to care for, more to do. More.

During college, I didn’t date because I had three part-time jobs + a full time course load.  Don’t get me wrong, I was no saint, I went dancing with friends and we drank a little and flirted a lot and had fun, but those times were few and far between.  Consequently, I have very few memories of my college experience. What I do remember is always working, always being exhausted, always over-performing.  What I do remember of that time is intense loneliness and a desire to be something.

At 21, I left Canada and came to the United States. I had $178, a guitar and a few friends.  Auspiciously, I planned on staying for a season; I’ve been here 27 years (and I’m a citizen now .. yay!). It never occurred to me to fail, and I didn’t. But now, years later, I can see how terrified I was.  I was so afraid to fail; afraid that all my big dreams wouldn’t come true and I’d be one of those girls that came slinking home to her parents with no job and no prospects.  And to me, failure was to be feared.

What’s scaring me today is one word: change.   I am turning 48 in a few days and while I am not afraid of aging, I am unfamiliar with who this woman is.  I have always been able to count on myself.  Now, someone else is showing up and, what’s more confusing, I don’t always recognize her.  I don’t know if I can trust her.

Naively, I assumed that I’d become more patient, more giving, and more, well, everything,  as I grew older.  Meh .. not so much.  With my grandkids? Absolutely. Other’s idiosyncrasies? Best I just step away. “Pick the hill you want to die on” is a quote I love but, of late, I’ve picked unfamiliar hills and walked away from known ones.   Weird.

My life is full and, most of the time, I’m content.  I’m thankful that I’ve cleared out the toxic people to make room for the good. I eat well. I exercise regularly now. I sleep great.  I listen. I express my ideas. I share and I pull back.

Things are coming together and changing all at the same time.

What’s next?

I don’t know.  But I do know this: while some of what I’m experiencing feels foreign to me, I’m trying my hardest not to be afraid.  I’m trying to just have faith and not be so worried about controlling the outcome.  I no longer have to be in survivor mode.  I will get through this; I just don’t know who I’ll be on the other side.

Have you struggled through a transition of late?  Please share.

Categories: Attitude, Blogging, Confidence at any age, Faith, Family, Friendship, Gratitude, Life, Life Lessons, Opinion, Personal, Relationships, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Wisdom | Tags: , , , , , , | 24 Comments

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Connie Rosser Riddle

Connecting with people in my path

Atypical 60

A Typical Blog. A Typical Woman. A Typical Take On Life. With An Atypical Twist!

A New Day Dawns

Arise, shine, for your light has come...Isaiah 60

Virginia Views

Country Living for Beginners

Waiting for the Karma Truck

thoughts on the spaces in between

Views and Mews by Coffee Kat

Kate's views on life edited by four opinionated cats

Renee Johnson Writes

Novelist, Traveler, and More

Life Is A Journey... Not A Guided Tour

My Journey From Merchant Mariner to Mother, And Spiritual Being.

notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Flamidwyfe's Blog

Midwifing women all over the world!

Operation Gratitude Blog

Care Packages for Deployed U.S. Troops, Veterans, New Recruits, Wounded Heroes, First Responders & Military Children

Hot Rod Cowgirl

Riding Through Life One Horse At A Time...Courage Is Being Scared To Death But Saddling Up Anyway!

She's A Maineiac

just another plaid-wearin' java-sippin' girl

The View Out Here

A view in pictures, from me to you

I also live on a farm

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Undercover Surfer

...random thoughts and images overflowing from my brain

Wordsmith's Desk

some thoughts along the way

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

music, poetry, musings, photography and philosophy from a woman who found her way back home and wants you to come over for a hike and a cocktail.

Georgette Sullins's Blog

My view of the cow parade

these days of mine

Stop in and see what's happening during these days of mine

Writingfeemail's Blog

Random observations on writing and life

Grace and Life

Looking for grace notes in life's journey...

When I Ride...

How life coaches me as I ride...

RICH RIPLEY

EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS...

Connie Rosser Riddle

Connecting with people in my path

Atypical 60

A Typical Blog. A Typical Woman. A Typical Take On Life. With An Atypical Twist!

A New Day Dawns

Arise, shine, for your light has come...Isaiah 60

Virginia Views

Country Living for Beginners

Waiting for the Karma Truck

thoughts on the spaces in between

Views and Mews by Coffee Kat

Kate's views on life edited by four opinionated cats

Renee Johnson Writes

Novelist, Traveler, and More

Life Is A Journey... Not A Guided Tour

My Journey From Merchant Mariner to Mother, And Spiritual Being.

notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Flamidwyfe's Blog

Midwifing women all over the world!

Operation Gratitude Blog

Care Packages for Deployed U.S. Troops, Veterans, New Recruits, Wounded Heroes, First Responders & Military Children

Hot Rod Cowgirl

Riding Through Life One Horse At A Time...Courage Is Being Scared To Death But Saddling Up Anyway!

She's A Maineiac

just another plaid-wearin' java-sippin' girl

The View Out Here

A view in pictures, from me to you

I also live on a farm

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Undercover Surfer

...random thoughts and images overflowing from my brain

Wordsmith's Desk

some thoughts along the way

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

music, poetry, musings, photography and philosophy from a woman who found her way back home and wants you to come over for a hike and a cocktail.

Georgette Sullins's Blog

My view of the cow parade

these days of mine

Stop in and see what's happening during these days of mine

Writingfeemail's Blog

Random observations on writing and life

Grace and Life

Looking for grace notes in life's journey...

When I Ride...

How life coaches me as I ride...

RICH RIPLEY

EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS...

Connie Rosser Riddle

Connecting with people in my path

Atypical 60

A Typical Blog. A Typical Woman. A Typical Take On Life. With An Atypical Twist!

A New Day Dawns

Arise, shine, for your light has come...Isaiah 60

Virginia Views

Country Living for Beginners

Waiting for the Karma Truck

thoughts on the spaces in between

Views and Mews by Coffee Kat

Kate's views on life edited by four opinionated cats

Renee Johnson Writes

Novelist, Traveler, and More

Life Is A Journey... Not A Guided Tour

My Journey From Merchant Mariner to Mother, And Spiritual Being.

notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Flamidwyfe's Blog

Midwifing women all over the world!

Operation Gratitude Blog

Care Packages for Deployed U.S. Troops, Veterans, New Recruits, Wounded Heroes, First Responders & Military Children

Hot Rod Cowgirl

Riding Through Life One Horse At A Time...Courage Is Being Scared To Death But Saddling Up Anyway!

She's A Maineiac

just another plaid-wearin' java-sippin' girl

The View Out Here

A view in pictures, from me to you

I also live on a farm

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Undercover Surfer

...random thoughts and images overflowing from my brain

Wordsmith's Desk

some thoughts along the way

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

music, poetry, musings, photography and philosophy from a woman who found her way back home and wants you to come over for a hike and a cocktail.

Georgette Sullins's Blog

My view of the cow parade

these days of mine

Stop in and see what's happening during these days of mine

Writingfeemail's Blog

Random observations on writing and life

Grace and Life

Looking for grace notes in life's journey...

When I Ride...

How life coaches me as I ride...

RICH RIPLEY

EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS...