Posts Tagged With: regrets

Like that

I lifted this list from a previous post because I saw a trend of mine in there … the words “like that.”

1.    Some of you know that I hold citizenship in both Canada, my birthplace, and in the United States, my home. What you don’t know is that every time I go through customs, it’s all I can do to hold it together.  When an Immigration Agent says, “Welcome home” at either border, I blink back tears, every time.  I’m patriotic like that.

image from photos.igougo.com

I love this land. Image from photos.igougo.com

2.     I love to read and always have a book at my side.  But I get ornery when authors leave me hanging with a poor plot line or a dismal ending.  I will finish a book I’m not enjoying but won’t visit that author again. They don’t know this, or care, but I do. I’m stubborn like that.

Great book!!  image from goodreads.com

Now this is a book I’d read again and again. ~Wonderful!~ image from goodreads.com

3.     I bake goodies and give them away; chocolate does little for me.  Potato chips?  Different story.  Potato chips take me back to summer nights in a backyard tent, reading comic books with my cousin, telling stories and plotting our next great pony-riding adventure. I’m quirky like that.

oh yeah!

oh yeah!

4.     I love going to the airport.  I can cry watching someone else’s reunion.  I’m sappy like that.

The beautiful Budweiser Clydesdales; an emjayandthem photo

The beautiful Budweiser Clydesdales make me cry, too; an emjayandthem photo

5.     The older I get, the less I care what people say and the more I watch what they do. I’m seasoned like that.

photo source: watch-roseanne-online

“Seriously?” photo source: watch-roseanne-online

6.     I try not to look back unless the view is really worth seeing.  I’m determined like that.

The day our own Royal Princess arrived - baby MJ!  (an emjayandthem photo)

The day our own Royal Princess arrived – baby MJ! (an emjayandthem photo)

7.     No matter how big or tall or experienced they become, my boys will always be mine and I pity the fool who dares hurt them. Yep, I’m a Mom like that.

This is how I mother. Get over it. google.images

This is how I mother. Not apologizing!  google.images

I’d love it if you shared 7 things about yourself “like that.”

Categories: Animals, Attitude, Family, Gratitude, Home, Opinion, Personal, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 30 Comments

We take our own chances and pay our own dues

photo courtesy of thestarphoenix.com

“…The Silver Tongued Devil and I.” Kris Kristofferson

This weekend, I learned of a friend’s unexpected passing.

Bryan Juckes – aka “Juckesy” – was a professional jockey who rode for my parents’ thoroughbred stable back in the day.  I met him as a teen when he came out to the farm to “break” two year-olds one spring. I was the gawky teenager hanging around the barn, hoping to talk with the trainers and riders, and maybe even tag along with them on my pony.

Bryan was lanky, tough, good looking and hilarious.  He wasn’t just the life of the party, he was the party.  He loved hard, fought harder, and partied with the best of them.  His skills as a rider were well documented but it was his zest for life and his Pied-Piper-like ability to lead everyone down a path of fun that drew us in.

The racetrack is an exciting and exhilarating place to be … but it’s also a rough place to spend your time, especially as a young girl. Juckesy nicknamed me “kid” and took on a brotherly approach, doing his best to steer me away from the harsh realities of the backstretch.  Away from the fights, the drinking, the drugs and the divorces.

For a time, because of my love for horses and general proximity to the track, I seriously considered a career there. Taking me aside one day, he whispered, “Kid … I know you love it here but you are meant for more than what this rough life can offer you. Take your smarts and go.”  And even though my parents had already said pretty much the same thing, it was his words I listened to.

We re-connected via Facebook about 8 months ago. We hadn’t seen each other in at least 25 years and I knew we probably never would; but he still called me “kid” and we had an easy rapport, as old friends do.  He was just as full of crazy quips as ever and clearly enjoying himself; it made me happy to know he’d retired from racing and started a business.

And then, he passed away this weekend at the age of 53.   And since I heard the news, I’ve found myself thinking about this rough & tumble character, someone who didn’t just march to his own drummer, he wrote his own tune.   And it was unlike any tune I’d ever heard then or since! I have often thought about how, as we go along through life, we meet people who leave their mark on us and probably never even know it.

But, in spite of my sadness, I can’t help myself but smile when I think of him.  This is a man who took his own chances and paid his own dues, and more than anything else, lived while he was alive.

I know it wasn’t always easy and I know there was heartache.  But, when I think of Jucksey, I smile because what I remember most is the laughter, the incessant one-liners, the crazy stories and most of all … his ferocious love for life and all it offers us.

Jucksey you did it your way.  You, more than anyone I’ve ever known, lived while you were here. And I have learned so much from you – about friendship, about taking chances, and how to just get out in the world and embrace it.  I just wish I had told you so.

RIP sweet friend.

Categories: Animals, Attitude, Blogging, Determination, Faith, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, Gratitude, Grief, Humor, Joy, Life, Men, Personal, Relationships, Share, Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

Forgiving myself

image courtesy of bbc.co.uk

“We control 50% of a relationship; we influence 100% of it.” – Anonymous

Last night, we decided to go out with friends for a last-minute happy hour/dinner type outing. Hubbs was ready to go when I got home from work and I took a quick shower & changed my clothes. The Pub was packed when we arrived, as it often is on their “1/2 off Thursdays.”  Hubbs and I settled into a spot at the bar, put our names in for a table, and waited for our friends to arrive.

The evening was great fun; lots of laughs, good food, and camaraderie.

Back to our outing: everything was fine until the conversation turned to my recovery from recent surgery.  Geez it’s getting old talking about that. Now let me just point out that the Hubbs was a wonderful asset while I was laid up, stepping in to take over the laundry, doing the house cleaning, running the kid around, and figuring out our meal plans.  He also warmed up coffee for me, brought me supplies and picked up needed items from the store. He did a wonderful job and was very attentive and, when I was up to it, I took back the reins.   The topic meandered to the fact that, in his mind, he did what he did 24/7 for 6 weeks (I was off for 7).  My mind screamed the truth: he did what he did – and a fine job at that – for about 4 weeks.  And then he didn’t.

I don’t know if it was the few beers I’d had, if I was tired, or if he just pissed me off but I snorted and, in front of our friends, became that woman who snarps back at her husband and who just has to be right.

Ugh. I hate that woman.  I despise  her and have no room for her in my relationship.

I retorted, “No, you did a great job but it was for a lot less time than you’re thinking of.”

As soon as I said it, I knew I was wrong. 

It wasn’t nice of me.  It was hardly gracious.

Some would argue I was only clarifiying the truth.  It doesn’t matter and it doesn’t make it right.

My words, and my desire to be right, hurt his feelings and, in effect, minimized his contribution in front of our friends, whom he loves and respects.

Ouch.  I feel just awful about it.

Later, I apologized.  He accepted, but that doesn’t mean I don’t regret my actions.

What’s that old saying? “Choose your words carefully; you never know which ones you’ll have to eat.”

Categories: Attitude, Family, Forgiveness, Home, Life Lessons, Men, Opinion, Personal, Relationships, Self Discovery, Share, Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | 22 Comments

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A Little Wild Farm

Planting roots on our little wild farm.

Connie Rosser Riddle

Connecting with People in My Path

Atypical 60

A Typical Blog. A Typical Woman. A Typical Take On Life. With An Atypical Twist!

A New Day Dawns

Arise, shine, for your light has come...Isaiah 60

Virginia Views

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Views and Mews by Coffee Kat

Kate's views on life edited by four opinionated cats

Renee Johnson Writes

Novelist, Traveler, and More

Life Is A Journey... Not A Guided Tour

My Journey From Merchant Mariner to Mother, And Spiritual Being.

notquiteold

Nancy Roman

She's A Maineiac

just another plaid-wearin' java-sippin' girl

I also live on a farm

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Wordsmith's Desk

some thoughts along the way

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

music, poetry, musings, photography and philosophy from a woman who found her way back home and wants you to come over for a hike and a cocktail.

these days of mine

Stop in and see what's happening during these days of mine

When I Ride...

How life coaches me as I ride...

RICH RIPLEY

EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS...