Posts Tagged With: self-care

Jet-Skis, Bullies and Towanda

I was so looking forward to this day: a gathering at a friends’ lake house.  A day of sunshine, water, good eats, laughter, camaraderie  & pontoon rides.  A day of good tunes, easy conversations, jet skis, sunblock and beach hair.

Like I do, I carefully planned the foods I’d bring, deciding on a fresh peach/blueberry cobbler & an appetizer dip.    Hubbs and I eagerly anticipated the day, the forecast was perfect for a country ride “up” to the lake house, and the camaraderie we were soon to experience.

Arriving just after 1pm we set down the coolers and arranged chairs;  food covered their kitchen counter and friends hugged hello, gathering around the patio table.  Classic 70s rock playing in the background, a waterfall trickled softly and we savored the summer breeze off the lake.

Soon the Hostess asked if I was up for a ride on her “new” jet ski, the high powered one gleaming in the distance.  “You bet,” I answered but “let’s visit first.” And so we did.   When I offered how I didn’t bring my swimsuit and just had a tee shirt & shorts she promised, “I won’t get you wet.”  And I know she knows what she’s doing .. so I went with it.

As we strapped on life vests and headed to the dock, another couple joined the party – so soon came more greetings before climbing onto the Sea-do.   Heading to the open water, with my pal driving and me holding  tight, we navigated smaller waves until a time she could “open it up” – flying now – fast and tight, my hair whipping behind me, I caught a glimpse at the speedometer: 57mph.  Shrieking, we leaned into a turn, jumped the wake left by a puttering pontoon boat, both of us rocketing forward and laughing our heads off.   Hanging on,  fully exhilarated, truly living.

Having an “it-doesn’t-get-better-than-this-moment,” and then some. 😀

Life is too short to sit on the shore!

We circled a few times then made our way back to the dock where friends gathered, men on the deck, ladies on chairs in the shallow water, waves lapping their calves.   Coasting into shore, I commented on how good of a driver my friend is, and thanked her that I did not have one drop of water on me, amazing!   We hopped off and waded  towards shore, where the women gathered.   With everyone watching, one gal commented “you went all that way and didn’t even get wet” and I nodded and smiled, about to compliment my friend on her excellent command of the machine.  But before I could do so, that same woman reached down and, with both hands, doused me in water, from head to toe.  Water soaked my hair, dripped down my sunglasses and face, top, shorts and underwear now completely drenched, with rivulets of water running down my legs.  I stood there in shocked disbelief, having my own “Carrie” moment, trying to come to terms with what just happened.

What. The. ???    What’s wrong with you?

Stephen King’s 1970’s Horror classic, “Carrie”

Looking back, there’s a part of me that almost did what I’d always done: “take the high road” “turn the other cheek” and all that other passive bullsh*t I’d been preached to my whole life. The same words that always translated to just lie down, be quiet and take it.

And I might have done that until I saw another so-called friend laughing.

And that was it. That was the tipping point.

Shaking water off my sunglasses while simultaneously wiping it from my eyes I looked around at those who looked away, said nothing, and the splasher and that one “friend” laughing.

All at my expense.  Nice.

I’m 5’2″ and the splasher well she’s 3 years younger and 4″ taller.

But it only took an second – I lunged at her with both hands, knocking her off her feet.

I’m petty sure she got air before landing in that lake sideways with a thud.   Sputtering she got up yelling, flailing  and swearing …. “I thought you were a nice girl” and my response was this, “I am. You started it.  Want some more?”

Women backed off, clucked, fussed and did nothing.

Someone said “this feels like High School” and I answered “YEP it sure does,  I hope you all remember who started it.  Just keep it up and I’ll finish it!”

  • I probably should feel remorse …. but I don’t.
  • I probably should be embarrassed …. but I’m not.
  • I hit her with everything I’ve got and then some. And I’d do it again.

#Sorrynotsorry

Maybe when bullies decide they’re going to pick someone’s hide, they should consider who they’re picking: in my case, she picked a 50-something woman who’s had enough of immature jerks and is no longer going to lie down and take it.

And I have better insurance, too.

 

Gotta love me some TOWANDA!

Your turn:

  • When’s the last time you dealt with a bully?
    • What did you do?
  • In the situation described above, what would you have done if you were me?
    • Why?
  • If you ever retaliated against someone’s nastiness, how did leave you feeling?
    • I don’t feel great about it, but I don’t feel bad, either.  😀

 

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Determination, Faith, Growth, Life Lessons, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

The last thing to grow

It’s August already! Summer took forever to arrive and now it’s flying by .. “Back to School”  supplies have been on store shelves since 4 seconds after the 4th.  We’ll blink and Halloween will be here.

For me, the first half of the year flew by due to copious amounts of work travel, work schedule, work projects, work calls and … work.

One thing that’s saved me has been steadily indulging my passion: reading.   I’m devouring books on planes and in hotel rooms; picking up more at bookstores in tiny towns as I pass through.  I’ve lost count of the number read this summer … but it’s not about the number.  It’s about the departure.  Falling into a good book is like coming home.

Just finished. Delicious!

Recently I saw these words below and they resonated with me.   Not just because I adore the fruits of summer … cherries, watermelon, and fresh peaches coming soon … but because, just like in life, we can’t feel our growth until the fruits begin to appear.

 

  • Can you relate?
  • What passions do you want to indulge?
  • What are you reading this summer?
Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Faith, Growth, Life, Life Lessons, Personal, Quotes, Seasons, Self Discovery | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

July Random 5 – Aging apps, Shirley MacLaine and self-care

It’s Sunday, mid-July, and here we are cruising down hill towards August.   Time for 5 Rapid Fire Randoms from my world.  Ready? Set – Go!

1   Aging apps – friends on Facebook are posting results of an app that ages you by 40 years.  Here’s one to try- ha!

Dog days of Summer –  Our West MI Summer took it’s sweet time arriving.  Our first 80F day was June 20th.   But now that we’re into July – with more than 3 weeks of warm weather behind us – folks are already CRABBING about it.  I was doing fine until that sweltering sweaty muggy stuff landed last week ~ the hot, humid, dank weather that steals your breath away at 6am.   The humidity so high that you sweat AFTER a shower.   Our local AM radio host cheerfully announced, “The heat index – with the humidity – is already over 90F.”     I turned up the fan and suppressed my crabbiness.3 Grand Dames – I read a recent interview with actress Shirley MacLaine.  Always liked her.  Classy, smart, sassy … takes no prisoners.  This quote resonated with me:

“I have what I consider just a perfect life … I eat what I want, I sleep when I want.  Not that much bothers me. I think attitudes are a choice.  Anger is a choice, peace is a choice, sarcasm – which is what I’m good at – is a choice.” ~ Shirley MacLaine

I wanna be Shirley MacLaine when I grow up!

the incomparable Shirley MacLaine

4 Stopping when necessary – As I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten better at stopping what doesn’t work for me.   Try something new but don’t like it?  Don’t keep doing it.  Order a new food that disappoints?  Set it aside.   The same goes for books – I LOVE to read, as in l-o-v-e to read.  Summer = reading for me.   But just recently I started a book with characters so awful – I had to stop.  The female character allowed herself to be manipulated by a narcissistic and cruel man, a man who enjoyed  the “game,” playing with her emotions and physical safety like a cat with a mouse.    I could see where the story was going after reading just a few chapters. Yes, I knew she’d probably become her own kind of hero but I just couldn’t sit through the abuse.

So I stopped reading it.

I didn’t give it away, I didn’t turn in for re-sale or donate it.

I threw it out.

You might be empathic if …

5  Heading to a corporate conference this week ~  practicing self-care now – there – and thereafter!

  1. Ever stopped doing what didn’t work for you? 
  2. Does Shirley’s quote resonate with you as well?  Why?
  3. How do you practice self-care? 

 

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Faith, fear, Food, Growth, Life, Life Lessons, News, Opinion, Personal, Thoughts, Travel | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Showing up for life

At the cusp of a new year  I like reflecting on the past one.  I find it cathartic to look back at professional and personal accomplishments, lessons learned, and think about what’s working and what’s not.

I ask myself these 3 questions:

  1. What do you want more of?
  2. What do you want to get rid of?
  3. What’s holding you back from either one?

And then I read this and smiled.  Because, more than anything else this year, I showed up.  Growth happened, some with growing pains.  Manifestations abound; intuition sharpened.

C’mon 2019, I’m ready. 

Your turn:

  1. What do you want more of?
  2. What do you want to get rid of?
  3. What’s holding you back from either one?

 

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Determination, Faith, fear, Gratitude, Growth, Holidays, Joy, Life, Life Lessons, Love, music, News, Personal, Quotes, Relationships, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Random 5 Monday ~ Bourdain, Beaches and Ducks

It’s Monday and it’s time for some random thoughts from the ever-swirling mind of yours truly.  Ready?  No.  Well get set, let’s go!

1 ) Still reeling over the loss of Anthony Bourdain.   I’m not even a foodie.  And I wanted to be one … watching him.  I wanted to walk into his kitchen, sit at his table,  have him flirt outrageously with me, tell a clever joke and have him lean in for the punch line.   Young, middle-aged, older – there was something about him that drew us in.   And kept us there.  This blogger sums up our loss beautifully – https://atypical60.com/2018/06/09/the-anthony-bourdain-i-knew/    #LOSS.

I hope he has peace now. 😦

2 ) Last week I took a couple of days off ~ I was, once again, up against the deadline.  Time to use vacation days.  Darn.   Thursday I packed tea, sunblock, my books and a beach chair and drove myself to Lake Michigan.  A place where stress does not thrive.  I read for hours, enjoyed other people’s children, watched a wedding, dug my toes in the sand and came home with beach hair & freckles.  And yes, I aim to repeat this many times over the summer.  #SUMMERGOALS.

~~~ ahhh ~~~
An Emjayandthem(C) Photo

3 )  The days are longer now that summer is officially here.  Celebrating my birthday I reflected on changes.  Much much stays the same ~ the work load, schedule, and expectations.  But I’ve changed – I’m a bit easier on myself than I used to be.   I’ve said “no” to others so I can say “yes” to me. I’ve slowed down. I’ve leaned in.   I’ve savored.  There’s a shift and I like it.  #SELF-CARE

4 )  Something I’ve realized – getting older – is that I’m a lot like Mom:  I don’t mind time alone, I crave it.  I get a little bit cranky with too many people and too much noise.   Yes I enjoy good conversation, music and such but I can – and will – easily spend days by myself.    A few nights back I imagined taking a week off and never leaving the house.   I found myself day-dreaming of how that would go:

  • Sleep
  • Read
  • Putter outside
  • Read
  • Write
  • Chat on the phone / visit with Hubbs
  • Sing/dance to music
  • Read
  • Putter outside
  • Read
  • Exercise/stretch
  • Sleep

I even had a fantasy food list ready.  It came to me immediately and goes something like this:

  • Strong coffee with cream
  • Grilled anything & Fresh veggies
  • Strawberries and watermelon
  • Iced Tea
  • Bacon & eggs
  • Fajitas
  • Avocados
  • Chinese Coleslaw
  • Margaritas and Fresh Limes

I realized that this exercise was really me manifesting my summer “wish list.”  Yep, time to book more days off.  #SUMMERGOALS

5 ) Saw two ducks on my walk earlier tonight … made me think of this:

#CORNYJOKESMAKEMELAUGH

 

~~~~~~~

Your turn:

  • Did a celebrity death ever leave you reeling?  (recent or not)
  • Are you making a summer wish list, too?
  • Got any bread?

 

 

Categories: Animals, Attitude, Beauty, Blogging, Confidence at any age, Food, Grief, Growth, Home, Humor, Joy, Life, Life Lessons, Men, News, Opinion, Personal, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Women, Writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Random 5 Sunday in March

It’s a sunny Sunday and time for 5 Random thoughts.

1  Looking up from my desk Friday, I noticed both wall Calendars set to February.  It’s March and then some.

The bad news is that time flies.  The good news is that you’re the Pilot. ~ Michael Altshuler

2  Signs of Spring are everywhere; snow and wind one day, sunshine & smiles the next.   Birds and squirrels cover  the yard.  Snow clings to the fence.   Easter in 2 weeks.

Springtime is the land awakening; The March winds are the morning yawn. ~ Lewis Grizzard

3  Week 2 of a personal cell so I can turn off the work one.   Habits take practice and I’m enjoying practicing.

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others. ~ Brene Brown

4  Stretch. Read. Rest. Repeat.

Take rest. A field that has rested gives a bountiful crop. ~Ovid

5   Last week I gave away something I didn’t use but another could benefit from.  Yesterday I cooked a meal for someone who needed it. The rewards outweigh the effort.

The best way to do good for ourselves is to be doing good to others; the best way to gather is to scatter.  ~Thomas Brooks

Shifting horizons, adjusting boundaries and adding in self-care = peace.

What’s new in your world?

related: On Saying Yes

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Faith, Food, Friendship, Gratitude, Growth, Life, Personal, Quotes, Self Discovery | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Life sets us a challenge

I stood in the doorway, surveying the mess: about to sort and pack years of records in 24 hours.  My first reaction was shock.  Overwhelmed at the task before me, the next reaction was anger.   And finally, standing at the crux of the chaos, I felt sadness for what could have been.

Backstory:  an employee left so it was my job to sort through the ashes.  Literally.  Through the piles. The stacks. The dust. The dead flies and the mouse droppings. ** Cough Cough **.   Out-dated phone books, notes, scraps of paper, stacks in corners, corners unseen.  ** Cough Cough ** A rhythm developed ~ assemble box & lid, open drawer,  breathe, lean in and go.   ** Cough Cough ** The back of my hair, damp with sweat, black dress slacks brown with dust and debris.  Shaking my head at the “no jeans” policy ~ laughing because this was Hazmat worthy.

Sorting, stacking, cleaning, organizing:  Nearly 40 boxes to be shred, garbage cans overflowing and 7 – count ’em 7 – boxes to be moved /re-filed.   A sore back and stiff neck that linger still.

Asked how this could be done so rapidly my answer: “determination fueled by disbelief.”

I’ve recently made some self- care choices that, on the surface, appear inconsequential: I got a personal cell phone.   Next I exported all (18 -ha!) personal contacts from the work phone and moved them to mine.  Then I  deleted those same numbers and any personal apps, too.   Why?  This week reinforced something sobering ~ we are all replaceable.

It’s an adjustment to turn off the work phone Friday evening and not look at it again until Monday. I’m working through it.  Now, it’s the personal phone that accompanies me to the grocery store or out on a date night with hubbs.  And I like that, when checked, there are 2 messages instead of 60. The breathless 60 can wait.

Yes, it’s a small step that’s netting me peace of mind and the separation/boundaries I’ve been craving.

Life does not look back.  Life looks ahead ~ and leaps.

 

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.”  Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym

 

What self-care steps have you taken lately?

Categories: Attitude, Determination, Faith, Forgiveness, Growth, Life, Life Lessons, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Thoughts, Women, Work | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

R5S~ Peace, Joy and Progress

Random 5 Friday Sunday ~ here comes 2018, time to bid adieu to 2017.

1 ) Yesterday was that day of winter vacation – the day far enough past Christmas but closer to New Year’s  – the day when you can’t remember exactly what day it is or what you’re supposed to be doing … it’s a day I look forward to all year.  My day of “nothing” — nothing to do and all day to do it.  I slept in, drank a pot of coffee, read blogs, stayed in my fuzzy pants all day and cooked a wonderful stew in the pressure cooker.  A lovely shower, a bowl of stew, new fuzzy pants and blankets found me asleep in the chair by 9:30.    Today, I woke at 6:00 a.m., feeling like a million bucks.  Rest, a break from stress, schedule and chaos,  you can’t beat it.

2 )  Christmas with our boys and grands was just that – grand — we laughed, ate, played games, laughed some more, sang Christmas songs and told stories.   Gifts were exchanged and memories were made.    Love was in the air and it was the happiest of days!

3 )  Time off — I’ve not responded to most work emails, but have taken great delight in deleting any that aren’t applicable to  me; doing so has culled the volume. My job is demanding with many people pulling on me on a regular basis; making this small effort now lets me ease back in without resentment.   Value up!

4 ) Progress ~ in that picture on the left I was recovering from bronchitis (for the 5th time that year) and battling a lingering fever, body aches and chills throughout my Christmas holiday (ugh!) I read the 10 day Grain detox book  (accompanied by a cough, highlighter pen and sticky notes) and started a grain detox Jan 4 2016 — I have not been sick once – nothing – not even a cold – since — despite copious work stress, moving, the passing of my Mom, a heavy travel schedule and more.  Amazing!

*** 747 days without 1 sick day!*** I used to battle recurrent sinusitis and bronchitis, cold sores, frequent colds & the flu👍 Kick grains to the curb and feel your best within  days 👍😀. Amazing health can be yours!    An Emjayandthem (C) photo

5)  New Year’s Eve tonight ~  Friends are stopping by for a drink/appetizers before heading to an evening party. We’re staying in where it’s cozy; roads here are awful, temps hovering in the single digits.   I’m delighted to stay in, smooch my handsome hubby and ring in the New Year in the peace and comfort that is home!

Happy New Year!  Let’s surprise ourselves next year, shall we? 

Categories: Attitude, Beauty, Blogging, Confidence at any age, Determination, Faith, Family, Food, Fun, Growth, Holidays, Home, Life Lessons, Love, News, Opinion, Personal, Romance, Seasons, Thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

On taking breaks and restoring vessels

Apparently I’ve taken a break from blogging.  I didn’t intend to but life has gotten in the way and before I knew it weeks had passed.

I’ve thought about you all and I’ve missed our interactions, but there’s so much going on that I struggle to get it all done much less articulate it.

Cleaning, sorting, gifting, going.  16 years in this house, and oh the stuff I’ve found stuffed in drawers and cupboards – oy!   3 – soon to be 4- trips to Goodwill, piles and piles of clothes, toys, and household items. But the treasures found have out-weighed the dust and the mess.  Baby shoes. Boxes of photos. Keepsakes from another time. My 4-H badges, Hubbs basketball pictures, our marriage license.  The love letters sent back and forth- be still my heart <3!

It is cathartic to rid ourselves of clutter.  It’s also hard work – I’ve averaged 6-7 miles per day in the house! Up the stairs, down the stairs, back up the stairs, out to the dumpster or to my car — my arms and legs and even my hands are weary.  When I lie down at night my body melts into the bed and the alarm screams for me way too soon.

But still with this, with all of this, my soul sings – why?  Letting things go – clearing out clutter – keeping what matters and jettisoning the rest ~Liberating!

I’ve missed you and I will return but I’m not sure when.   I miss the release I get from expressing my thoughts and connecting with all of you.  But I’ve also learned I cannot pour from an empty cup.

And on that note, at least I still have a cup, in fact I have many and that cupboard’s next!

will return whenever I want

 

How about you? Have you found yourself in a similar position? How did you handle it?

 

 

Categories: Attitude, Blogging, Faith, Family, Gratitude, Growth, Home, Joy, Life, Opinion, Personal, Relationships, Thoughts, Writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Otterly wonderful

otter day off

I have a pattern – 6 weeks after returning from the Christmas break, I need and take a day off.  First I cash in the massage gift certificate given by Hubbs at Christmas (ooh,  ahh), then I take a Friday off.  And the only ‘schedule’ about the day off is doing it.

I shut off my phone, turn off the alarm, and sleep.  Sleep ’till I wake up, whenever that may be.  Around 7:30 today I woke with a start, sure that I was late for something.  Smiling at the early light outside, I ‘tucked & rolled’ back under the covers. At 8:45 I couldn’t sleep any more so I knew that was just right for me.

Pouring coffee I looked at my phone:  74 new emails, some informational, and a couple marked urgent. Few are, geez people settle down.

I didn’t answer.

My out-of-0ffice is on and my staff is capable.  Plus, I know better; if I answer one – just one – the phone will start ringing.   Nope, not doing it.   The world will not end between now and Monday, of that I’m sure.

I used to spend my days off racing around the house getting things done, answering emails, being available to everyone except myself. Sometimes I still do, but not so much anymore.

Now, I give myself  permission to accomplish nothing. Zip. Nada.

Amen to that! google images.com

Amen to that! google images.com

To putz and hover and think.To read, to write, to laugh to dream. To sing, to play, to live.

Later I’ll sit in little chairs and happily accept warm hugs and sticky kisses at the grand kids’ Valentines day parties.    I know one thing for sure – they don’t care how many emails I have or who wants me to call.  They’ll care that I’m there.  That my phone is off. That they have my attention. 100%.

And the very best part about a day of purposeful nothingness will be the peace that fills my soul.   And it will be otterly wonderful!

life is a cup

Many of us harbor hidden low self-esteem. We deem everything and everyone more important that ourselves and think that meeting their needs is more important than meeting our own.  But remember this – if you run out of gas, everyone riding with you will be left stranded, too.- Bishop T.D. Jakes

How good are you at taking a day completely “off?”

 Related posts:
Happy Valentine’s Day ❤

 

Categories: Attitude, Blogging, Confidence at any age, Faith, Family, Fun, Growth, Home, Joy, Life, Opinion, Personal, Rants, Relationships, Thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

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Happily After Retirement

- Loving where I am right now!

A Little Wild Farm

Planting roots on our little wild farm.

Connie Rosser Riddle

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Atypical 60

A Typical Blog. A Typical Woman. A Typical Take On Life. With An Atypical Twist!

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Arise, shine, for your light has come...Isaiah 60

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notquiteold

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just another plaid-wearin' java-sippin' girl

I also live on a farm

Just another WordPress.com weblog

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some thoughts along the way

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

music, poetry, musings, photography and philosophy from a woman who found her way back home and wants you to come over for a hike and a cocktail.

these days of mine

Stop in and see what's happening during these days of mine

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How life coaches me as I ride...

RICH RIPLEY

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Happily After Retirement

- Loving where I am right now!

A Little Wild Farm

Planting roots on our little wild farm.

Connie Rosser Riddle

Connecting with People in My Path

Atypical 60

A Typical Blog. A Typical Woman. A Typical Take On Life. With An Atypical Twist!

A New Day Dawns

Arise, shine, for your light has come...Isaiah 60

Virginia Views

Country Living for Beginners

Views and Mews by Coffee Kat

Kate's views on life edited by four opinionated cats

Renee Johnson Writes

Novelist, Traveler, and More

Life Is A Journey... Not A Guided Tour

My Journey From Merchant Mariner to Mother, And Spiritual Being.

notquiteold

Nancy Roman

She's A Maineiac

just another plaid-wearin' java-sippin' girl

I also live on a farm

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Wordsmith's Desk

some thoughts along the way

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

music, poetry, musings, photography and philosophy from a woman who found her way back home and wants you to come over for a hike and a cocktail.

these days of mine

Stop in and see what's happening during these days of mine

When I Ride...

How life coaches me as I ride...

RICH RIPLEY

EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS...