Posts Tagged With: Stephen King

It’s not the grief, it’s the longing

Six years ago I registered for this blog site – 6 years!  My very first post involved lessons learned from Mom – you can read it here.

Man, I miss her.  She was my “go-to” person on so much but especially politics.  Oh the conversations we’d be having right now!   She’d snort, I’d laugh and the two of us would conspire like school girls.  I remember her whispering to me once that “none of the other kids read like you and I do” – now some siblings do read, a lot. But the way she said it makes me grin because I know she saw herself in me.  I couldn’t be more proud of the similarity.

This is the same woman who gifted me (and my sister) a scandalous book about grey ties. She had no intentions of reading it but told me, “You can handle it.”  I know she did it to scandalize us… and it worked.    The two of us horrified our (grown) kids by leaving it out on end tables.  The looks my  boys shot my way were worth it.  That was her point, to stir things up and to remind us we always have a choice.  God, I love her.

I’m lucky to have had someone so feisty as my role model.  Someone who didn’t let her gender define her. Someone who slung her purse over her shoulder and leaned in as she marched forward, even when she didn’t know the script.  We talked about this often, how as women we do more – we’re expected to  – be more, accomplish more just to earn a seat at the table.  We often talked about “not having the playbook” and her response was always the same, “you’ll figure it out, kid.” And I did.

So I think I’ve finally hit on out why conversations around me  of late have left me bored: It’s the lack of layers. The surface talk. Not having her intelligent interjections to both jar and delight me.

“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them — words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of an understanding ear.”
― Stephen King

 

What conversations do you miss having?

Categories: Attitude, Determination, Faith, Family, Grief, Growth, Humor, Joy, Mom, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Wisdom, Women, Work, Writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

The quietest of friends

Something’s happened, there’s been a shift again.  I think it started by picking colors for our house and imagining a reading room in my head.  Picturing colors, touching fabrics, something stirred and I found myself opening an already packed box of yet-to-be-read books.

Devoured “Defending Jacob” in 2 nights.

defending jackob

Read 3 Reader’s Digest and 5 Oprah Magazines the next.  Stayed up too late last night reading this:

the-girl-in-the-red-coat-by-kate-hamer

Books take me back to my prairie childhood;  Mom helped me get a Library card when I was very young, about 7 (I’m sure she had to co-sign for me).    The Bookmobile arriving to our little prairie town was cause for celebration;  Book Fairs made my mouth water.  I’d buy adventure books, books in a series, fact-finding books, anything books.   I still love the smell of a book, and being in a library calms me.

bookmobile

Our bookmobile looked something like this, only older.

I spent my teens reading Stephen King (“It” – gak I hate clowns) and Peter Benchley (Jaws made me think twice about swimming in the lake at night) and Jacqueline Susann (Valley of the Dolls) or Jean M. Auel’s “Clan of the Cave Bear” series.  I devoured my sister’s magazines, Seventeen,  Glamour and Cosmopolitan.

It’s no wonder that when I feel life closing in, I retreat to books.

home-library-designs-16-500x625

If I had this, I might never come out!

“Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.” ― Charles William Eliot

 

How about you? Can you relate?  Did your town have a Bookmobile?  What are you reading now?  What does your “dream room” look like?

Categories: Faith, Family, Fun, Gratitude, Home, Joy, Life, Life Lessons, Mom, News, Opinion, Personal, Products I love, Quotes, Romance, Share, Thoughts, Travel, Women, Writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

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