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Posts Tagged With: trust

Go with what you know

So, some of you know that I started a new job last Monday.   Holy Guacamole  – to say I’ve been a little busy would be an understatement.

The thing is … I’m still doing my old job,  and I’m navigating the new one, too.  And, truth be told, I’ve done a quite a bit of it for some time now.

Somewhere in the quiet part that is Sunday evening a little voice whispered to me: “Hey you, the forecast is nasty, and you have an awful lot of calls scheduled, so how ’bout a bit o’ lunch?”   I dug out a bruised Gladware container and assembled a beautiful salad of fresh greens, tomatoes, English cucumbers and grilled chicken. Then I wrote myself a note so I’d remember to take it with me today! 

And it was a good thing I did because this day took off like a shot and it was 2:00 before I remembered that I even had a lunch to eat.

And in that moment, I caught my breath, laughed out loud and thought, “Go with what you know.”

The situation was really no different than when I started blogging two years ago.  I remember getting all caught up in the excitement of it, the newness of it, and the desire to take off on the journey and see where it would go.

And I remembered how, later on,  I found myself stepping back and, in the end, giving myself permission not to know everything. To not have it all together. To do it my way.

So with that, I’m revisiting that post tonight.

I’m taking a page out of my own book and I’m going with what I know.

google.images.com

 * * *

Write what you know

by Emjayandthem

Asked about blogging, it hit me what I’ve learned from the experience:

1. Write as often as you want to but resist the pressure to publish every day.  Remember that you do this because you enjoy writing.  Example:   At first, I obediently followed the mandate set by my instructor –  to write and publish daily.  I know she meant well because her point was to keep it fresh and avoid too many days between posts.  But now, looking back, I can tell the difference between my “going through the motions-posts” and those that were really me –  at my most authentic.  And if I could tell, I’m pretty sure others could, too.

2. To that end, let your posts breathe.  Not all of your readers are “online” at the same time and when you post something new, older posts get pushed to the bottom.  Give each one its due.

3. Read (and be inspired) by the work of others:  Be moved by the posts, dreams and the designs of the many talented writers here in the blogosphere.  When I feel “stuck,” all I have to do is click & read.   In no time at all, I’m laughing, smiling, crying, nodding my head in agreement and commenting.  In no time at all, I’ve forgotten about my little blog and have subscribed to several more.

4. Commenting on blogs is a wonderful way to connect but there’s a tiny line between being interested and supportive and just being there to promote your stuff.  People will find you if they’re interested and they don’t … then they don’t.     The self-promoting commenter makes me think of that snot-nosed kid who dumps his milk at the dinner table on purpose: Look at me, notice me, see me, I’m here.   Geez, I get it already now knock it off!

5.  Mind your manners: respond to comments and acknowledge those who took the time to weigh in.  However, if someone chooses to swear at me, their comments will not see the light of day.  Constructive criticism – bring it on but general viciousness? Hell to the no.  My blog – my rules.

6.  Take the challenge:   The topics I care most about are the hardest for me to writeSo when I find myself feeling that pinch, I dig a little deeper and keep at it because I know I’ve hit the good stuff.

7.  Slog through:  Often, what I feel most passionate about can leave me feeling vulnerable and it’s tempting to self-censor…. but then I can easily lose the point of my post.  However, what I’ve learned is that the most difficult posts to write have become my favorites. Maybe not the most read, but.. My. Personal. Favorites.  And that counts for something, too. 🙂

8.  Be open to ideas:  Ideas come in all shapes and sizes and often at random times. Keep a list.  You can email ideas to yourself, record messages on your cell phone or, like me, scribble notes down on the backs of envelopes, post-its and grocery lists.

9. Have fun: If writing starts feeling like a chore, step away and do something else.  Chances are something else in your day will inspire you.   We’re not curing Cancer here, people!  Step away, mix it up, come back & let ‘er buck!

10. Write what you know:  Lastly, lots of blogging “authorities” will tell you to “become the expert,” or to find out what you’re an expert on.  Well, the only thing I am an expert on is me, my life and my experiences … and all of it is a work in progress anyways.

Have you ever stepped back from something only to discover that what you already know is actually … quite enough?  What have you learned to trust yourself with?

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Categories: Attitude, Blogging, Faith, fear, Personal, Relationships, Thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 39 Comments

Trust

We get what we trust. Trust poverty and betrayal to be there,  they will. Trust abundance and love to be there, they will.
–Martha Beck

Categories: Beauty, Faith, Friendship, Growth, Life, Quotes, Relationships, Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Seekers

Have you ever met someone whose personality immediately drew you in? Who, at first glance, seemed like someone you’d like to know better?

Not long ago, this happened to me.

I found myself seated next to another lady while both of us were getting manicures; I couldn’t help but overhear her conversation with another patron. She was articulate and engaging on the topics they discussed (health and health care). When the other lady finished and left, this one turned to me.   For a time, the conversation was pleasant.  Smiling inwardly, I thought, this is fun, because I love to meet and talk with new people.  But it was when she ventured off into alternative care that I felt a smidge of unease.   Bear in mind that I don’t take issue with alternative remedies; I personally think there’s a lot we can learn by going back to the basics – good nutrition, proper sleep, etc.  But, this was  different: I saw her eyes brighten and noted when she licked her lips and leaned in closer, almost conspiratorially.   It hit me that the two-way info exchange had stopped; now she talked at me about energy fields, colon-hydrotherapy and her stance against vaccinations.  Well, “to each his own,” I thought.  A break in the conversation allowed me to sit quietly for a moment and that’s when I heard it, a ringing in my right ear, clear and steady, like an alarm going off.   I smiled while trying to follow her stances on modalities, PH balances and the like.  I found myself a little sad, too, because before me was a woman with a quick and seeking mind.  Before me was not someone seeking conversation or friendship, however: before me was a soul whispering hear me, see me, affirm me.

When it was time to go, she smiled warmly and introduced herself as Jane, slipping her business card into my hand. I smiled back and told her my first name, too, but refrained from sharing my contact information. Instead I minded that little alarm, the one that very clearly said no.

“Intuition is always right in at least two important ways;

It is always in response to something.

It always has your best interest at heart”

― Gavin de Becker, “The Gift of Fear”

Have you ever been in this situation? How did you handle it?

image from Pinterest.com

Categories: Faith, fear, Friendship, Personal, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Wisdom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

The first brick

I remember the first time that I knew, really knew, that Hubbs was the one for me.

It wasn’t the way he showed up early for our dates or the thoughtful way he listened when I had something to say.

It wasn’t the flowers that he’d sent, although he’d sent them often.

It wasn’t the tender way he played with my (then 5-year-old) boy, although that surely melted my wounded heart (and still does, just thinking about it.)

It wasn’t even the way he kissed me good night or how he always added an anguished growl as he left us.

No, it was all of those things and more: It was doing what he’d said he’d do.  Calling when he said he would. Showing up when he promised to be there.  He taught me, in his own quiet way, that before me was a real man, an honorable and dependable man,  a man with a deep voice, broad shoulders and a tender heart.  A man a girl could set her clocks to .. forever.

“Here’s something else to think about: calling when you say you’re going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can’t lay this one stupid brick down, you ain’t never gonna have a house baby, and it’s cold outside.”
— Greg Behrendt, “He’s just not that into you.”

*and I can’t write of bricks without adding in this classic Commodores hit!

How about you? When did you know that someone had built a foundation for you?

Categories: Attitude, Faith, Growth, Quotes, Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

on Self-Help

I don’t know about you but I’ve got a fair amount of self-help books sitting around.  I love to read and have always gravitated to topics that cause me to ponder life’s choices and think about what’s next.

But, having said that, there’s a very distinct part of me that is so clearly my mother’s daughter:  she, the  feisty little narrator who lives inside my head and sports cat-eye glasses and pedal pushers.  She snorts and nudges and whispers Balderdash!! whenever Oprah or some other guru-type starts telling me how we should be living.

You know what I’m talking about:  you’ve seen the excitement when “they” are on the precipice of something meaningful.  And sometimes they truly have been. I don’t mean any disrespect but I’ve rolled my eyes more times than not when listening to her.

See if I had O’s bazillions of dollars I’d probably have a monthly magazine with my fine self on it, too. I’d smile and cook with Paula Deen and get tips from Dr. Oz and give advice and tell other people how it’s done .. or not.   Actually, it’s more likely that I’d set down the oven mitts and turn off the fans and look to the camera to say: You know more than you think you do so when that inner voice that we all have picks at you and pulls you back from doing what others think you should, stifle yourself and listen.

* * *

“I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.”
— George Carlin

* * *

How about you?  Do you trust your instincts and heed your own advice?

Categories: Confidence at any age, fear, Fun, Growth, Personal, Relationships, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Because sometimes I just know

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where what you feel doesn’t match what’s being presented to you?  I have and I experienced it again this summer.

We’d been introduced to a new couple via mutual friends when I experienced something that gave me pause:  A feeling of unease. Butterflies. A sudden upset stomach.  Wooziness.  (and no, I wasn’t ill and only had 1 drink).

I acknowledged my feelings but attempted to shelve them; they were insistent and kept re-appearing as the evening progressed.  The hostess was lovely, their home was beautiful but it was him that I reacted to.  I took note of my body’s reaction whenever he addressed me. He was agitated and trying especially hard to be liked.  I felt for him in that moment but couldn’t help but notice how he frequently criticized and dismissed her .. in front of all of us.  I saw the sadness in her eyes and soon I really saw what my body had already recognized: a bully.

And then I felt it again; a primitive tug, pulling me away. I wanted to grab my purse and flee, to get as far away as possible.  Emotions washed over me.  Grief, sadness…  desperation. I had to get out of there and I found myself in the bathroom trying to compose myself.  I remember thinking, “I am truly losing it!”  But .. still, I listened.  I’ve learned to do that.

Thankfully, the evening ended soon after and before we were out of the driveway I said to everyone in the car: “I don’t ever want to see or be around that man again.”

That’s fairly clear, even for someone as direct as me.

I didn’t say, “I am not sure I like that guy” or “He’s not my favorite.”

I said, “I don’t ever want to see or be around that man again.”

Not long afterward, I heard that she was injured in a household accident and a shudder passed through me.   Because sometimes, in spite of the mask someone wears, sometimes I just know … better.

***

I am currently reading “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker and right after I started it yesterday, this post came to me.   

In his book, readers learn how to:

  • Recognize the survival signals that warn us about risk from strangers
  • Rely on their intuition
  • Separate real from imagined danger
  • Predict Dangerous Behavior
  • Evaluate whether someone will use violence
  • Move beyond denial so that their intuition works for them

 

Categories: Attitude, Faith, Quotes, Wisdom | Tags: , , , , , , | 42 Comments

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Happily After Retirement

- Loving where I am right now!

A Little Wild Farm

Planting roots on our little wild farm.

Connie Rosser Riddle

Connecting with People in My Path

Atypical 60

A Typical Blog. A Typical Woman. A Typical Take On Life. With An Atypical Twist!

A New Day Dawns

Arise, shine, for your light has come...Isaiah 60

Virginia Views

Country Living for Beginners

Views and Mews by Coffee Kat

Kate's views on life edited by four opinionated cats

Renee Johnson Writes

Novelist, Traveler, and More

Life Is A Journey... Not A Guided Tour

My Journey From Merchant Mariner to Mother, And Spiritual Being.

notquiteold

Nancy Roman

She's A Maineiac

just another plaid-wearin' java-sippin' girl

I also live on a farm

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Wordsmith's Desk

some thoughts along the way

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

music, poetry, musings, photography and philosophy from a woman who found her way back home and wants you to come over for a hike and a cocktail.

these days of mine

Stop in and see what's happening during these days of mine

When I Ride...

How life coaches me as I ride...

RICH RIPLEY

EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS...