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Posts Tagged With: turn the page

Turning the page

Have you ever looked back at all of the people you’ve known? Of the relationships that lasted and the ones that fell by the wayside?

What about family dynamics? Cousins or siblings you were so close to who now are … strangers?

It’s an interesting feeling, leaning into a brand new year, and looking back at the ghosts of past ones.

I think of friends I met through 4-H, during college, close rapport with sisters of boys I dated, work chums along the way, and I wonder. Not in a mournful way, no, but sometimes I wonder if they think of me, too.

Shortly after Mom passed away, a sibling removed me from her life; there had been a strain but her abrupt actions – deleting and blocking me on Facebook while remaining connected to others in the family – made it real. Painfully real.   Her actions stung but, as blunt as they were, there was a certain clarity her move afforded me.

I had an epiphany recently that helped me get to the heart of what really nagged at me (beyond the obvious): her choices were hers, not mine.   Doesn’t make me better or worse, but it was not something I would have done.  You see, I’m a bit of a control freak.  Headstrong, opinionated, and stubborn.   I live my life, pay my way, and accept what comes with it.  So when another chooses for me, it’s jarring.  Off-putting.

Then came the gift of a second epiphany … it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to.  Why?  Because I’ve accepted my part in the downfall of our relationship.  I take accountability for who I am.  Her discomfort with me is hers to own. It’s taken time but I’m able to speak of this now without tears and hand-wringing. As I turn the page, I make a choice:  to leave her decisions where they belong  …  with her.

“There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it.” – Shannon L. Alder

 

Have you ever had someone delete you from their life?  How did you handle it and where are you with it now?

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Categories: Attitude, Blogging, Faith, Family, fear, Forgiveness, Grief, Growth, Life, Life Lessons, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Self Discovery, Thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Random 5 – Good-bye 2016

I don’t know about you but I’m OK with saying good-bye to this year.  It’s not been all bad, but it’s been far too rushed-stressed-scheduled-manic-busy for me.   I don’t foresee that the work pace will slow but do I feel a shift in how I’m managing it:  I’m speaking up more and saying “no thanks” where I can. I no longer feel responsible for everyone and everything.  (No one asked me to do that, by the way, but that’s just how I rolled).  The surprising part? No push back.  Huh – should have done this long ago!

Having (most of) this week off has allowed time for reflection.  To think about what I’ve done, what I’ve learned, what I want and where I’m going  – here are my Random 5 thoughts on the cusp of a new year:

1 Traditions can change and you can, too.  Everything about this Christmas was different – everything.  What day we all got together.  What we ate, how we managed gifts, who was here and how we spent our time. I loved it!  Fewer decorations went up and came down sooner.  We stayed in more. We rested – we cocooned.  It was wonderful, magical, soul-restoring.

between-christmas-and-new-years

2 Family – this was our first Christmas without Mom and we all felt the pinch.  My sister called late one night, her voice cracking, and as we connected our tears fell. She was just “having a moment” she said.  “I get it,” I said.  We told our stories and cried and laughed and gave thanks for a Mother so joyfully recalled.

motherhood

3 Gifts – the best gifts are those that cost little but take time and effort and come straight from the heart: this year I made our boys a family recipe book.  It’s not perfect and it wasn’t professional but the joy I felt as they sincerely reveled in it was my gift.  I teased that I chose a red binder for a reason – likening it to the President getting the Nuclear codes – and that they’d best guard it closely.  They assured me they would.  😀

food ina garten

4 Epiphanies abound, case in point:  When we go out socially, I yearn for interesting and fun conversations.  When those don’t happen I withdraw or get frustrated.  Crap – I’m a conversation snob!!  Hubbs and I can have hours-long meandering conversations and I shouldn’t assume they’re available everywhere.

get-your-happy-on-quote-1

Great conversations make me happy!

5 Here comes the New Year.  We’re heading out tonight for Japanese Hibachi dinner with a host of friends.  I’ll find something sparkly to wear and hope for good conversations.  I’ll take a breath and look around and give thanks for the chance to do it all over again next year.  ~ Happy New Year all!

photo from flickr

photo from flickr

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Years Day.” ~ Edith Lovejoy Pierce

 

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Faith, Family, fear, Fun, Growth, Holidays, Joy, Life, Mom, News, Personal, Relationships | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

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