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Posts Tagged With: women

Lists in the face

I remember being surprised at being invited to that executive’s retirement party given we’d hardly interacted.  I was around 27 and, looking back, a bit naive.

The night of the party, one of the (ancient) executive’s pals, in his toast to the retiree, joked about inviting “pretty girls like __(me)__ so we all have something nice to look at.” Their wives looked horrified and sad, most men chuckled, and I can still feel the rage at being reduced to “something.”

I know and have loved many wonderful men – decent, kind and gentle men.  I’m fortunate I can easily rattle off a long list including Grandfathers,  Great Uncles, Dad and his brothers, my husband and our sons. But I also have known – and had to work with – creeps.  And, in my experience, the creeps spoil the well for the good men.

Now, as a Grandmother, my Spidey senses are on FIRE whenever I’m out with our grandkids – both grandSON and grandDAUGHTER — I watch them like a hawk even though they aren’t “babies” any more.    I’m hyper-aware of everyone around us; if one asks to go off to another aisle to “see just one thing” we all go; it’s not up for discussion.

I’ve talked with the grands about good people and bad people, about trusting their instincts, and if someone makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe to tell any of us, and that they will never be in trouble for doing so.  I worry about Social Media and creepy perverts who lurk in shadows everywhere.  But, as many of us know, creepy perverts were in our churches, schools, and communities long before Facebook or SnapChat ever existed.

I made a quick list of how experiences with creepy men has impacted how I live; the list wrote itself in minutes.

  • I stay alert and pay attention to surroundings; if someone feels “off” I get away from them.
  • I never walk, shop for groceries or stop for gas in the dark.
  • I prefer to exercise in the house vs. in the neighborhood.
  • I wear a cross body purse, always and my cell phone remains charged and accessible, even at home.
  • I check the back seat of any vehicle before getting in, anywhere and in every light.
  • I rarely venture away from the hotel when traveling for business ~ Company (male) colleagues like to walk to restaurants for group events (because they never have to think about lists like this!). I prefer to take a taxi but will walk in a larger (mixed) group.
  • I never sleep on flights.
  • All windows and doors are locked  ~ if I find myself alone at the office (very off-putting) I take the cell phone with me to the copier or the restroom.
  • On business trips /outings I stick to water or (sometimes) order a cocktail I don’t like and sip it; whatever I have goes with me to the ladies’ room.
  • It’s Hubby’s deep voice on the answering machine.
  • I’m not thin anymore;  extra weight has lessened the burden of unwanted attention.
  • I never use parking garages,  valet where possible and expense it, and offer no explanations or apologies.
  • I don’t get on elevators with men, not even one.
  • I limit fluids during road trips which limits stops, and never use highway rest areas; Fast food restaurants only.
  • At company functions I employ the Irish Good-bye – excuse myself and don’t come back.

Your turn:

  • Can you relate to this post?
  • How have your experiences impacted the way you navigate your day-to-day life?
    • Any tips or thoughts to add?

 

“Men often ask me, Why are your female characters so paranoid? It’s not paranoia. It’s recognition of their situation.” — Margaret Atwood, author of “The Handmaid’s Tale”

 

 

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Categories: Attitude, Determination, Faith, fear, Grief, Growth, Life, Life Lessons, News, Opinion, Personal, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Travel, Useful Information, Work | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Pearls, pigs and passages

From my earliest memories, our Grandmother Pearl wore pearls -pearl necklaces, drop and button earrings, bracelets and brooches. Some were real and others were fake, bought from the Avon Lady or the Sears catalogue.  Mom and Aunt Irene also had a “set” that they each broke out for fancy occasions, like weddings, showers or baptisms.  I’m sure they were influenced by First Lady Jackie Kennedy’s famous pearl style and later when First Lady Barbara Bush brought them back again.

Pic taken in 1923 ~ ❤️ Grandmother Pearl was 19. An Emjayandthem (C) Photo

 

I’ve had these pearls since the 90s ~ classic, they never go out of favor. an Emjayandthem(c) photo

I have always loved pearls.  I love their softness, strength and imperfections;  I love their luster, warmth, and radiance, too.

A few days ago I read this passage and was reminded how important it is to “learn to discern” – to learn we don’t have to intervene in other’s life lessons, even when you can see the train coming from afar.   As hard as it is, it’s true that stepping in can only delay the learning for another.  And doing so may make future lessons more difficult.

Some lessons are meant to be learned the hard way.

  • Matthew 7:6 “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”

  • Do you relate to this passage?
    • What lessons have you learned the hard way?
    • And how hard is it for you to “learn to discern?”
Categories: Animals, Beauty, Faith, Family, Fashion, Forgiveness, Growth, Joy, Life, Life Lessons, Mom, Personal, Relationships, Thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The story continues

Nearly a year ago, a good friend passed away.  But her story doesn’t end there.

You see, through her friendship and the support group we formed at her diagnosis, new friends have come into my life.  And stayed.

Now I’m so glad I had made room in my friendship cupboard  – long before she passed I had Lysol-ed the energy vampires away and made room for some battery chargers.  But I hadn’t yet filled it.  Something told me to wait.

And, because of her, I met them – fabulous, smart, accomplished women with friendship and love to share. No snarping. No jealousies. Just people who love you and lift you up. People just like her.

We could have all just met last summer and had our laughs through the fall and cried together at her funeral and went our separate ways, and yes, there were some who did.  But there are more who felt the void and looked around at other marvelous people left standing and thought – as I did – “I wonder.” And it’s in the re-connecting now, the laughter now, the telling of her stories now, that she lives on.  In us.  And that brown-eyed girl, man, she would have loved this.

Have you ever made a new friend in an unorthodox way?  What has another’s death taught you about living?

Categories: Attitude, Beauty, Faith, Family, Grief, Growth, Joy, music, Personal, Relationships, Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Playing with fire

“Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it.”  Candace Bushnell, “Sex and the City”

Sophia Loren and Jayne Mansfield; google.images.com

Do you think women dress for the men in their lives … or the women?

When it’s date night, I enjoy dressing the way hubbs appreciates ….  all boom-chica-mow-mow and then some.  And he does the same for me.   (Without the boom-chica-stuff… makes most guys feel ridiculous).

But, I never dress that way unless he’s with me. No, when I’m with friends, colleagues or even family, I am non-threatening in my attire.  I dress to fit in; conservatively, tastefully, and buttoned-uppedy.

So, with that being said, can I just say that I love being a girl?

Can I just say that I love having curves that I keep contained for the Hubbs?

Can I just say that, for all the pony-riding, tomboyish days of my youth, that I love getting my nails done and fixing my hair and feeling pretty and foxy and all sassy-frassy?

Can I just say that I absolutely, without hesitation, embrace my feminine strengths, the ones who let me rock a pencil skirt and heels and a power drill all in the same day?

Oh, I think I can say it:  I do believe I just did.

image from Pinterest.com

How about you?  Does your wardrobe change for the various roles in your life?

What makes you feel fine?

* * *

*This post was inspired by my closet and the various characters living within.

Categories: Attitude, Beauty, Men, Opinion, Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 36 Comments

Believe

Categories: Attitude, Determination, Faith, Friendship, Life, Personal, Quotes, Relationships, Romance, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Music for a morning

(Photo by Mark Mainz/Getty Images; available at canada.com)

It’s Friday and it’s been a challenging week. I need something big to get me motivated this morning.

I give you Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” performed by Canadian songstress k.d. lang.

Disregard her politics, her lifestyle and yes, even her lack of shoes.

   Just close your eyes and let her voice take you someplace wonderful.

Categories: Beauty, Faith, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Life, music, Opinion, Personal, Random, Romance, Share, Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tags: , | 14 Comments

Wishes really do come true

my picture: snow geese in flight over the farm

I did it. 

Christmas is 3 days away and my “stress-free holiday” plan is working!  

Being thankful, staying optimistic, clearing out the clutter in my life and making room for what’s most important has had a profound impact on my well-being this year. 

The washing machine has been dying a slow death for months. It finally screeched to a halt last night. Freaked out? Not in the least.  Not an issue because I’m done wrapping, baking, shopping etc. and I can easily handle picking out a new one on my lunch hour today.  

Budget a problem? No, not really, and mostly because I didn’t host a huge party this year (accompanied by huge expense).   I had blogged about my wish list here https://emjayandthem.wordpress.com/2010/12/11/my-wish-list/ and I just realized last night everything I was hoping for is coming to fruition.

* * * *

My wish is that anyone reading this will see the promise of what is Christmas. 

When possible, forgive.  

When not, give yourself permission to step away.  

When you can help, do so.

Choose words carefully. 

Refrain from criticism. 

Pick up the phone and call an elderly relative.   

Do something nice for someone else just because you can.

Mix it up.  

Stop the schedule.   Slow down.

Look around.

Celebrate

what

is.

Categories: Attitude, Faith, Gratitude, Home, Life, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Random, Seasons, Wisdom | Tags: , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Kapow Kapow, baby

As much of a tomboy as I was growing up, I just love me some kitten eyes now.

Nothing says Kapow Kapow, Baby more than smoky, smoldering, meow-mix kitten eyes.  Think Sophia Loren – Eva Mendes – Joan Collins – Brigitte Bardot – smoky and spicy hot!

Not appropriate for day time.  Barely appropriate for night (me-yowza!)

The gorgeous and exotic Sophia Loren. Photo: flickr

My source to get such effects? From makeup artist Alexis Vogel  http://alexisvogelmakeup.com

A special benefit?  Order the complete kit since it comes with a “how – to” DVD.  Yep. Perfect for dorks like me whose high school beauty kit consisted of Bonne Bell lip smackers and match-my-mood blush.   I’m guilty of 80s fashion crimes including black eyeliner and blue shadow .. oh yeah .. worked it, worked it.  But, as I matured, I poured over Cosmopolitan and tried my best to look like that… but, I didn’t have the tools or the know-how.  Then .. along comes Alexis Vogel who delivers a kit of well made products and the expertise  —  a super secret pass-key into a world of girl-dom that I knew existed but couldn’t attain.

Why makeup?

Because I like it.

Because I’m creative.

Because I like to put it all together and see what happens.

I’m not a Birkenstock kinda girl.   I’m just ..not.

On date nights with the hubbs, I’m all about hair that’s full, lips that are red and …cleavage. I like clothes that are fitted and eyes that sparkle. (And so does he ..)

Come to think of it, the holidays are approaching which means time off and lots of date nights — I do believe it’s time to re-order.  Whee !!

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Fashion, Humor, Life, Men, Opinion, Personal, Products I love, Self Discovery, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Don’t be a Travel Turkey

photo: julioluna.webs.com

 Flying today? 

Below are my tried & true travel tips for simpler, stress-free travel:

  • Pack a snack – fruit, peanut butter crackers, trail mix, etc. Anything that takes the edge off if you’re delayed .. and starving
  • Wear comfy clothes that you’re ok sitting or standing in. Ditto on the shoes.  

  • Ladies – Skip the purse and instead take a small backpack (you can fit your reading materials, snack, mp3 player and jacket in it)

  • Get to the airport early!

  • Bring or buy magazines & leave them for other travelers when you’re finished (and you don’t have to carry them both ways)

  • Most importantly – pack your sense of humor. Smile  – be patient – help others if you can.  

  • BE THE PERSON YOU’D WANT TO BE STUCK NEXT TO 🙂

Happy Travels!

 

 

Categories: Attitude, Family, Food, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Holidays, Humor, Life, Life Lessons, News, Opinion, Personal, Rants, Relationships, Travel, Useful Information, Wisdom | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Live with Intention

source: dailytop10.net

Live with intention.

Walk to the edge.

Listen. Hard.

Practice wellness.

Play with abandon.

Laugh.

Choose with no regret.

Continue to learn.

Appreciate your friends.

Do what you love.

Live. As. If. This. Is. All. There. Is.

-mary anne radmacher

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, Gratitude, Humor, Life, Life Lessons, Personal, Quotes, Random observations, Relationships, Wisdom, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Whooo?

flickr.com

We have an owl living in the woods behind our house; sometimes, he hangs out on our rooftop, as it provides an excellent lookout point to what scurries beneath the street light.  Not only are they beautiful animals, but I find their “whoo whoo” sounds to be very comforting.

Some time ago, I had a session with a local reader who is Native American. Much of her wisdom comes to her in the form of “totems” or symbols of character traits.

She told me my Totem was the Owl.  I found this summary particularly interesting:

Totem of the Owl: messenger, deception, clairvoyance, insight (the night eagle)  Owls come in all sizes, from a tiny miniature that actually lives inside the cactus in the desert, to the great horned owl, which is the only bird that can out fly the golden eagle. A fully grown great horned is an awe-inspiring creature. Its talons are furry, and closely resemble the paws of a baby mountain lion with claws extended. It is meat eater, which means it can be a fierce warrior if challenged, or if something dear to it is threatened. It is often referred to as the Night Eagle. The owl is at home in the night. It has great awareness of all that is around it at all times. It has predator vision, which means it sees clearly what it looks at. It has great intuition: it is the totem of psychics and clairvoyants. It has the courage to follow its instincts. Owl’s ability includes seeing behind masks, silent and swift movement, keen sight, messenger of secrets and omens, shape-shifting, link between the dark, unseen world and the world of light, comfort with shadow self, moon power, freedom.

Owl people can see into the darkness of others souls. Most owl people are clairvoyant because of this. This can be scary at times. Learn to trust your instincts about people as an owl totem gives you the power to extract secrets. Listen to its voice inside of you. You will hear not what is being said by others, but what is hidden.   You can detect subtleties of voice that others cannot. People cannot deceive a person who has an owl totem.

Funny, one of the things I’ve preached to our boys over the years is to “Listen to your instincts; go with your gut. If something rubs you the wrong way, run. Pay attention and never ignore it.” I’ve told this because the only times I’ve gotten in trouble was when I ignored that voice.

Categories: Life Lessons, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Random observations, Relationships, Seasons, Traditions, Useful Information, Wisdom, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Peace ..

It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.
~Unknown

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Gratitude, Holidays, Life, Life Lessons, Opinion, Personal, Quotes, Random observations, Seasons, Uncategorized, Wisdom, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

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Connie Rosser Riddle

Connecting with people in my path

Atypical 60

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Waiting for the Karma Truck

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Novelist, Traveler, and More

Life Is A Journey... Not A Guided Tour

My Journey From Merchant Mariner to Mother, And Spiritual Being.

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Midwifing women all over the world!

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I also live on a farm

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Undercover Surfer

...random thoughts and images overflowing from my brain

Wordsmith's Desk

some thoughts along the way

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

music, poetry, musings, photography and philosophy from a woman who found her way back home and wants you to come over for a hike and a cocktail.

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these days of mine

Stop in and see what's happening during these days of mine

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Looking for grace notes in life's journey...

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How life coaches me as I ride...

RICH RIPLEY

EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS...

Connie Rosser Riddle

Connecting with people in my path

Atypical 60

A Typical Blog. A Typical Woman. A Typical Take On Life. With An Atypical Twist!

A New Day Dawns

Arise, shine, for your light has come...Isaiah 60

Virginia Views

Country Living for Beginners

Waiting for the Karma Truck

thoughts on the spaces in between

Views and Mews by Coffee Kat

Kate's views on life edited by four opinionated cats

Renee Johnson Writes

Novelist, Traveler, and More

Life Is A Journey... Not A Guided Tour

My Journey From Merchant Mariner to Mother, And Spiritual Being.

notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Flamidwyfe's Blog

Midwifing women all over the world!

Operation Gratitude Blog

Care Packages for Deployed U.S. Troops, Veterans, New Recruits, Wounded Heroes, First Responders & Military Children

Hot Rod Cowgirl

Riding Through Life One Horse At A Time...Courage Is Being Scared To Death But Saddling Up Anyway!

She's A Maineiac

just another plaid-wearin' java-sippin' girl

The View Out Here

A view in pictures, from me to you

I also live on a farm

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Undercover Surfer

...random thoughts and images overflowing from my brain

Wordsmith's Desk

some thoughts along the way

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

music, poetry, musings, photography and philosophy from a woman who found her way back home and wants you to come over for a hike and a cocktail.

Georgette Sullins's Blog

My view of the cow parade

these days of mine

Stop in and see what's happening during these days of mine

Writingfeemail's Blog

Random observations on writing and life

Grace and Life

Looking for grace notes in life's journey...

When I Ride...

How life coaches me as I ride...

RICH RIPLEY

EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS...

Connie Rosser Riddle

Connecting with people in my path

Atypical 60

A Typical Blog. A Typical Woman. A Typical Take On Life. With An Atypical Twist!

A New Day Dawns

Arise, shine, for your light has come...Isaiah 60

Virginia Views

Country Living for Beginners

Waiting for the Karma Truck

thoughts on the spaces in between

Views and Mews by Coffee Kat

Kate's views on life edited by four opinionated cats

Renee Johnson Writes

Novelist, Traveler, and More

Life Is A Journey... Not A Guided Tour

My Journey From Merchant Mariner to Mother, And Spiritual Being.

notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Flamidwyfe's Blog

Midwifing women all over the world!

Operation Gratitude Blog

Care Packages for Deployed U.S. Troops, Veterans, New Recruits, Wounded Heroes, First Responders & Military Children

Hot Rod Cowgirl

Riding Through Life One Horse At A Time...Courage Is Being Scared To Death But Saddling Up Anyway!

She's A Maineiac

just another plaid-wearin' java-sippin' girl

The View Out Here

A view in pictures, from me to you

I also live on a farm

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Undercover Surfer

...random thoughts and images overflowing from my brain

Wordsmith's Desk

some thoughts along the way

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

music, poetry, musings, photography and philosophy from a woman who found her way back home and wants you to come over for a hike and a cocktail.

Georgette Sullins's Blog

My view of the cow parade

these days of mine

Stop in and see what's happening during these days of mine

Writingfeemail's Blog

Random observations on writing and life

Grace and Life

Looking for grace notes in life's journey...

When I Ride...

How life coaches me as I ride...

RICH RIPLEY

EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS...