Posts Tagged With: women

It had to be you

me & the hubbs.  An Emjayandthem (C) photo

Happened across this song the other day and it took me back.  Back to living in Connecticut  where I met the Hubbs.  I was a divorced single parent of a 5-year-old boy; he was a well-traveled businessman from the midwest. I had a child. I did not date. I worked and took care of my son.  But a relentless girlfriend dragged me out on a Friday night and that’s where we met. He chatted with her (I thought he liked my friend) but, little did I know, he was working his way to me.  (foxy loxie that he is)

From the start, we had every obstacle in our way. Before we even had our first date, my employer announced we were relocating 6 states away.. in 4 months.  But summer was nearing and, cautiously, we started spending time together – the 3 of us – how’s that for romance?   Seeing a big shouldered man play with a teenage-mutant-ninja-turtled little boy softened my wounded heart.

One night we wrangled a sitter & decided to see the movie we were hearing a lot about, “When Harry met Sally.”  Understand, Mr. Hubbs doesn’t like movies.  Doesn’t go to movies. Didn’t know it then but he accommodated …me.

Can’t hear this song without thinking of him and that summer we fell in love .. over playdates with a 5-year-old, and day trips to New York City.

Update: we moved, he moved too, we married, had 2nd son, lived, loved and laughed together. And here we are … 19 years later.. and tonight’s “date night!” Think I’m gonna dig out our Harry Connick cds for later … And our 5-year-old boy? He’s now a grown man, married to his love who brought a 5-year-old boy to their marriage. That little boy.. you guessed it .. he loves Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, too.

Categories: Family, Gratitude, Life, Love, music, Personal, Random observations, Relationships, Seasons | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

What I learned at Parent/Teacher conferences

It’s that time again. P/T conferences.  The hubbs and I wrapped up our work day and timed our arrival with the start of the conference window: the teachers were ready to go and we were five minutes early.  Yes!!!!   We were a little apprehensive because, in a couple of classes, we knew his grades weren’t quite where they could be. So,  we weren’t too surprised by the usual comments like  “he’s a good kid but with just a little more effort, he’d be all set.”

However, what resonates with me most were the comments about him, as an individual.   By. Every. Single. Teacher.  As is our habit, afterwards the three of us sat down over supper and talked through each class: what’s working, what needs improvement, etc.  As we know, school ends, and life/college/obligations begin.  We made sure we conveyed what they said about his character because it’s important he knows that, as a person, he’s already succeeding.

A sampling:

  • What a kind-hearted and generous young man.
  • He always has something good to say.   
  • He offers encouragement to others.
  • He is interested and interesting.
  • He has a great sense of humor and brings a lot to the class.
  • He participates but he doesn’t “hog” the floor.
  • He’s able to articulate his feelings in a way that’s relevant to the lesson.
  • He includes everyone and this class is very diverse; he helps others without being asked. 
  • I absolutely love having him in my class; we have some great debates and he tries to see all sides.  Even when we don’t agree, he is respectful. 

Yes there are some organizational efficiences to address.  We can all use our time better. But .. on the personality side? The human side? The what kind of man will you grow up to be one day side?

A+

Nice job, kid.

 

Categories: Confidence at any age, Family, Gratitude, Life, Life Lessons, Love, Personal, Random observations, Relationships, Wisdom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Back to the days of Pooh

photo source: freeextras.com

Last night our baby boy (17 next week) received his first armed services recruitment letter.

 Don’t they know he’s just a boy?

 Don’t they know he’s our baby?

 Don’t they know that while he’s smart and brave and strong and tall … when we look at him we see that little wistful face, the boy who tilts his head to the side to sing and closes his eyes when he passionately makes a point? Don’t they know that this letter surely was meant for someone else? Someone … older?

 I want to find my way back .. back to the days of Christopher Robin.  Back to the days of .. Pooh.

Categories: Family, Life, Personal, Random observations, Relationships, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Everyday is a winding road

source: istockphoto.comSo .. last month I was feeling a little bored, and in need of a creative kick-start.  Admittedly, as a list maker, I always have something going on.  Too much time on my hands is .. too much time on my hands.    I knew that I didn’t want to pursue anything “serious,” I just wanted to take a class for the fun of it. I did a little sleuthing and stumbled across a blogging workshop being offered through the local adult education program.   Perfect!  Situated right around the corner from my office, it was a one day, one shot deal, not requiring a major time commitment on my part. Never having blogged, I thought this might be a fun way to learn the ropes and, for $35, why not give it a go?

Driving up to the class that night, I was suddenly overcome by nerves.  I am usually very calm, very confident, and very much in control.  Not then. All I kept thinking was: what if I don’t understand it? What if all the people there are experienced writers? What if I have nothing to offer?

I entered the classroom, glanced around, and made eye contact with several people.  Everyone found their respective seat and sat politely as we waited for the instructor to setup her materials and begin.

The class started, some of the information went over my head but most of it, I got. Quite a bit of it I could relate to. Then .. something shifted.  I started having fun.  I relaxed. I found myself offering information, showing others shortcuts.  I laughed and exchanged observations with a young woman seated across from me, who gave me a sly smile that said, “I got it, I get you, we’re good.”   

The class ended, and a few of us lingered to talk with the instructor, share observations and exchange contact information.  The woman across from me? That’s Terri and we met for lunch yesterday.  She’s warm, smart and interesting.   The instructor, Sheryl? Accomplished, approachable, and a veritable cheerleader, who sends me emails of encouragement on a regular basis.

I don’t know if others will follow what I write here or not.  I hope they will, but, if they don’t that’s ok, too.  I set off to find something new and interesting to do… and instead I met some interesting people who gave me new things to think about.

Life. It’s like that.

Categories: Confidence at any age, Determination, Life, Life Lessons, Opinion, Random observations, Uncategorized, Wisdom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

On passion

Today .. I am passionate about:

  • coffee
  • sunshine
  • being outside
  • reading
  • music and
  • time to reflect

What passions are you pursuing today?

Categories: Quotes, Random observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Need to take a Relationship Sabbatical?

Do you have someone in your life who is lovely to everyone …but you?

I do. And being related further complicates matters. 

This is someone who is sweet and accommodating to everyone. But not to me. 

Conversations and interactions are a struggle because I have to censor everything I say.  I can’t offer suggestions, be my silly self, or offer up my meandering thoughts.    I have to be less than who I am.

After much deliberation and hand-wringing I took my hubbs’ advice:  

 I. Stopped. Engaging. 

I stopped calling.

 I just stopped.  

It’s not foolproof; old habits die hard and there will, of course, be instances where being together is unavoidable.  But … interesting things happened when I took a relationship sabbatical…I learned this: we teach others how to treat us, including family.  If I would not accept dismissive and acidic comments from others (a co-worker, an in-law, a neighbor), why did I tolerate it from her? Was it “keeping the peace,” or  “doing what I know?” 

When I said nothing, did nothing, and swallowed my words,  I gave up my power.  My inaction enabled the behavior to continue.  

Stepping back was taking action while avoiding a scene (and there would have been, trust me).     It was covert. It was calculated and yes, it was effective, because here’s my surprising realization:   I don’t miss the relationship.     I miss the idea of what our relationship was.

I feel lighter.

I am happier.

I am now completely – 100% – myself. 

Getting older. Accepting ourselves.  Raising the bar for how others treat us.  Drawing a line in the sand and having the courage to stand behind it.  Powerful.

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Determination, Family, Gratitude, Life, Life Lessons, Opinion, Quotes, Random observations, Relationships, Useful Information, Wisdom, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

The road to home

The road to home makes me think of advice my mother gave to me as a newly married woman, “Remember dear, every time he annoys you or does something you think is stupid .. he’s had the same thoughts about you.”

 Isn’t that the truth?  

Categories: Humor, Life, Life Lessons, Mom, Opinion, Quotes, Random observations, Relationships, Useful Information, Wisdom, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Today, I listened

source: ludix.com

My mojo’s been lacking this week.

I’ve felt lethargic. Less-than-engaged.  Achy. Headachy.   I’ve been pushing through it, as most of us do, assuming I would catch up.

This week, I’ve worked with a headache; I’ve left with a backache.  I’ve stayed up too late because sleep skipped past me.

Today. I listened. 

I got up for work at my regular time, after a fitful night’s sleep. Blah.  My hair hurt. My eyes hurt.  My body hurt.

I looked in the mirror and did something I rarely do.

I listened.

I listened to my body when it said, “I really need sleep.”

I listened to my body when it said, “Help me. You have sick days. Use one.”

Today. I listened. 

I hugged our teenager as he left for the bus stop; I closed the door, climbed the stairs and slipped back under the covers.  And I slept. For four hours. 

Today. I listened.

Categories: Life, Random observations, Uncategorized, Wisdom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

My kind of witch

It’s Halloween! 

I’ve had loads of costumes over the years but never did dress up like a witch.

But .. If I had, I’d want to be Samantha Stevens. Funny. Smart. Sexy.  Capable in the kitchen and the board room.  Able to easily deflect nosy neighbors (Mrs. Cravitz) and meddling relatives (Endora).

All in kitten heels.  Me-ow!  

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Fashion, Holidays, Random observations, Uncategorized, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

List? What list?

When making a to do list remember to put yourself on it, too.

Other than my “normal” work/mom/household responsibilities today, this is my NEW to-do list:

  1. When delighted, giggle. (Out loud is best.)
  2. When thankful, speak it.  
  3. When grateful, offer it.
  4. When appreciated, roll in it.
  5. When home, engage in it.
  6. When loved, reciprocate it. (It’s ok to go first.)
  7. When sleepy, sleep.
Categories: Attitude, Life, Life Lessons, Random observations, Relationships, Useful Information, Wisdom, Women | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

What about me says Wicca?

The pre-Holiday shopping season has started and with that comes an influx of catalogues. I flipped through the latest one that arrived and here’s a sampling of items featured:  

  • Cauldrons, in various shapes & sizes
  • “Love Bites” Vampire choker complete with “dripping” red jeweled accents
  •  Druid style hooded cloaks (where would one wear this?)
  •  Merlin Master of Magick books

I’ve definitely left an amazon-qvc-barnesandnoble-bestbuy-footprint online and I also understand that some vendors likely sell my contact information. But, for the life of me, I cannot think of any purchase that translates to the above. 

Although … come to think of it ..I have shot others a look that could turn them to stone. In my neck of the woods we call that a “stink eye.” 

Hmm … maybe I do need that gossamer solstice dress after all.

Categories: Life, Random observations, Traditions, Uncategorized, Women | Tags: , , , | 2 Comments

Redoing my “To-Do” List

I make to-do lists daily. They’re never complicated, usually one word reminders of tasks to do, pick up, drop off, mail in, fill out… ok maybe a little complicated.

But I realized something recently. I’m not on the list.   No-where to be found.

I suspect this began when our boys were babies.  Like many moms, I got used to caring for, planning for, organizing and doing for everybody that somewhere along the way … I forgot about me.   This, as a parent, is a good thing… to an extent. You have to be selfless to be a good mom, in my opinion.

But … from now on, I’m putting myself back on the list and I’m asking you to do the same.   Make room in your life for you – your thoughts – your dreams – your needs – and put yourself on your list. 

I’ve started with baby steps, after all old habits die hard.  These are my top 5 tips for making this possible:

  1. Give yourself permission to go to bed when tired. Simple but effective. Every time I slip my toes beneath those crisp cotton sheets an hour earlier than I normally would, I smile smugly to myself.   
  2. Use a slow cooker now & then. Not only is supper ready when I get home but my house smells wonderful AND I have time to do other things I enjoy like catching up with the hubbs & our teenaged son, working out, walking the dog, etc.
  3. When you have down time, prepare two extra meals. Freeze one; keep the other handy in the fridge. If I’m cooking roast chicken on Sunday it takes hardly any more effort to prepare a 2nd chicken, pork chops, or meatloaf.  Same with grilling. The result? During the work/school week we have fresh, home cooked food to enjoy, it’s simpler to eat together (because the food’s ready) and we save $$.
  4. Bring your lunch with you. You’ll cut costs, eat what you like AND most importantly – have your lunch break free to do things you take pleasure in like go for a walk, visit the library, stop by a farmer’s market, read, shop, etc.
  5. Pursue your passions!  Just start: I love to write. I took a blogging workshop last week and here I am!  Met some lovely people and learned some handy tips.

Putting myself on my “to do” list has made me 1) better rested, 2) more organized, 3) less cranky, 4) more playful, and 5) a better wife and mom.

P.S. Here’s what’s in my crock-pot today: 

Bodacious Beef Dips. {This makes 9-10 servings and is ready in 8 hours}

  •  4 lbs chuck or rump beef roast
  •  1- 12 oz can of beer
  •  1- 10 oz can French onion soup
  •  1- 10 oz can beef broth
  •  2-thinly sliced onions
  •  Several grinds of black pepper
  •  1/4 tsp dried thyme (optional)

Directions:    Place fully thawed roast in slow cooker. Pour soup, broth, and beer over the roast. Grind pepper over the top, sprinkle with thyme and top with sliced onions. Cover and cook on LOW heat for 7-8 hours. When finished, take meat out of crock pot, place on cutting board and cut into slices or shred with a fork (it will be that tender). Place meat back into slow cooker and mix with juices and onions. Serve on crusty rolls with sliced Swiss or provolone cheese, if desired. Reserve some of the au jus for dipping the sandwiches.   We like this with a salad and oven roasted baby potatoes. Bonus: for the 3 of us, this makes 2 meals. 🙂 Yum!

Categories: Food, Life Lessons, Random observations, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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Better Days Blog

Learning from yesterday, living for today

Another Stir of the Spoon

Food, Art, Books, Birds and whatever...

A Little Wild Farm

Planting roots on our little wild farm.

Connie Rosser Riddle

Connecting with People in My Path

Atypical 60

A Typical Blog. A Typical Woman. A Typical Take On Life. With An Atypical Twist!

Life Write Here

“I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say.”

A New Day Dawns

Arise, shine; For your light has come!

Virginia Views

Country Living for Beginners

Views and Mews by Coffee Kat

Kate's views on life edited by four opinionated cats

Renee Johnson Writes

Novelist, Traveler, and More

Life Is A Journey... Not A Guided Tour

My Journey From Merchant Mariner to Mother, and Spiritual Being.

notquiteold

Nancy Roman

She's A Maineiac

just another plaid-wearin' java-sippin' girl

I also live on a farm

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Wordsmith's Desk

some thoughts along the way

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

music, poetry, musings, photography and philosophy from a woman who found her way back home and wants you to come over for a hike and a cocktail.

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Stop in and see what's happening during these days of mine

When I Ride...

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